Anyone here who learned to like/ love cooking?

[ourbabygirl]

I just really don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, and it just feels like a chore, and a stressful one when we're hosting parties. DH actually likes cooking, and likes a variety of foods, so he's happy to do it, and doesn't get stressed out by it. Unfortunately, we have a very traditional extended family, where the women are expected to like cooking and to be good at it (and entertain gracefully). So I feel like they look down on me when they know that my husband does at least half of the cooking when we host big family dinners and parties. (He would do all of it if I wanted him to/ let him.) I like more of the party planning and preparation- decorating the house, and baking.
My mom is an amazing chef, but I didn't inherit her cooking gene, and I think I feel extra intimidated by her and my sisters-in-law and how easy they make it. Plus they know that I have it really good because my DH has no problem cooking.

If you learned to like cooking, how did you do it? Did you take any cooking classes to get better at it or to learn to enjoy it more? Is it easy for you to try, and like, a lot of new recipes, because you're willing to eat pretty much anything?

Thanks for your feedback! :)

[DualvansMommy]

My school required cooking as part of our graduation requirements, so when I started HS at 12, I learnt the basics like breakfast hot food. Went on to next basics like protein and vegetables, learning what is rare, medium rare, etc. making basic different sauces for specific purposes, etc. to a one pot dinners, soups to a roast dinner. I didn’t enjoy it then, as was angry we were expected to cook and not have a choice like woodworking or metal work.

I just kept that up in college during my upper under grad years after moving off campus to an apartment. Now it’s both; it’s a chore and sometimes I enjoy it. Depends on my mood. But gently saying about your family and in laws expectations, who give a fig what they think? If you’re happy DH cooks, he enjoys it then why change?

There’s lots of food YouTube channels, cooking classes which is what DH’s cousin wife did. She took a bunch of different cooking classes when she got married, and actually became good at it.


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[georgiegirl]

I don’t think you should bother if your DH likes to cook. Definitely don’t do it because relatives think a woman should do it.

I used to love to cook. But now it seems pointless to make interesting, creative meals because MAYBE one person in my family will appreciate the meal. I do 99% of the cooking in the family, but I rarely try new recipes unless I’m pretty sure at least two other family members will like it. If I had people who loved to eat what I’d cook, I would spend a lot more time cooking. DD (13) and her friends love to cook and bake. They make pretty typical meals (chicken fried rice) but fancy desserts (like rainbow crepe cake).


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[jgenie]

I didn’t learn to cook until very recently. When we got married neither of us knew how to cook. DH wanted fancy food like we would have in a restaurant so he learned to cook and I ate whatever he made. DH doesn’t get home until late so a few years ago I started cooking. I have a few recipes I can do pretty well and I try a new recipe every few weeks. If my family gives it a thumbs up I add it to the rotation. My DH is like yours. He enjoys cooking and if we’re having company he handles the food. DH does all our holiday cooking as well. If your DH enjoys cooking I wouldn’t give your set up a second thought. I have to say having DH and DC enjoy what I cook makes all the difference. I can honestly say I like cooking now and cook most weeknights. I don’t enjoy the clean up but the prep and cooking are more enjoyable than they used to be for me.

[sariana]

No. I've never liked cooking. But we don't host parties, so that is not an issue for me. It's just family dinners. I hate everything about it--planning, shopping, preparing, the actual cooking, the clean up.

DH is a much better cook than i am, but even though he's unemployed right now and I'm not, somehow I'm still responsible for most meals. And he expects me to help with clean-up, too.

And everyone always complains about the food I make, too. No one likes it, we always have leftovers that get thrown away, and the kids complain.

Sorry, this turned into my BP. :(

[Myira]

I come from a similar culture where women by default are expected to cook. Our setup is that I do all the prep, cooking etc. in our daily life. DH only helps with the dishwasher. He won’t cook and keeps remarking that I spend a lot of time cooking. We have circular pointless arguments about it sometimes since he will gladly eat takeout and I just cannot endorse that, not good for the wallet and health.
So I cook out if necessity really everyday. I find it a lot of work especially the cleanup afterwards. I don’t hate it anymore but i don’t have the luxury of time to enjoy doing it either! I knew nothing about cooking unfortunately when we got married. I don’t know what I’d have done without food blogs back then and YouTube channels in recent years. I can say YouTube videos taught me everything I know right from basic knife skills to many recipes! It beats using a cookbook hands down. I cannot say I’m a naturally good cook but now after years of doing it day in and day out I’ve come a long way from where I was initially!
That said, we don’t host big parties since I find it a lot of work and stressful and not worth it. Just last weekend we went out for dinner with friends we wanted to socialize with! So much easy breezy, no cooking and cleanup for hours.



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[SnuggleBuggles]

Can your dh run some interference and tell everyone that he likes to cook and you like to plan so you have a win win for your family? Why fix what really isn’t broken?


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[specialp]

I don’t think you should bother if your DH likes to cook. Definitely don’t do it because relatives think a woman should do it.

This. I do most of the cooking at home, but DH does it on the weekends and all of the holidays meals we host. He loves it, they know he loves it. I do not worry about it.

[QUOTE=ourbabygirl;4352051]

If you learned to like cooking, how did you do it? Did you take any cooking classes to get better at it or to learn to enjoy it more? Is it easy for you to try, and like, a lot of new recipes, because you're willing to eat pretty much anything?



DH taught me to cook when we were engaged/first married. It would be a lot harder now with kids. My mom is an excellent cook, but a horrible teacher. We watched a lot of food network shows that were more about cooking. (My understanding is it is different now.) We had a group of friends in grad school. None of us had kids, all of us were poor students with no money to go out to eat to nice restaurants so we would get together at our apartment and make a nice meal. I do not love cooking like DH does, but I do not hate it like I used to.

[gatorsmom]

I make my kids cook now! Actually, it's family effort. We started doing this a few months ago in September and it has been working well. DS1 make corned beef with cabbage, potatoes and onions in the crockpot this weekend, DS2 made chili, DD and I made fajitas with sautéed peppers and onions and DH and DS3 made spaghetti with baked meatballs. I do grocery shopping and help with prep as well as washing dishes. I hate cooking and the kids need to learn to cook anyway. In your case, if your DH enjoys cooking, why take that pleasure away from him just to meet others' expectations? Remind your relatives that there are plenty of professional male chefs.

[div_0305]

Can your dh run some interference and tell everyone that he likes to cook and you like to plan so you have a win win for your family? Why fix what really isn’t broken?


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:yeahthat: I don't see what the problem is here. I think you're blessed that one of you enjoys cooking and you both make such a good, complimentary team. One of my extended relatives said recently at a dinner party that she "usually does the cooking," but her husband was helping while she worked long hours. I quietly told her to stop feeling conscious or apologetic, but let her husband shine as a very good cook because he obviously doesn't care about the traditional male/female roles. He's a MUCH better cook than her, so we all win :)

[Myira]

Yeah could not agree more that your setup is working for you why change? It’s just a chore and if one spouse loves it why not. Those cultural gender stereotypes do take time to fade away from people’s psyche though! I’d love to have your problem frankly! I wish DH contributed sometimes and I could get to do something else! In his defense he does not believe it’s my job to cook as a woman, he has never had an interest in cooking or desire to learn!


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[Globetrotter]

I come from a similar culture so I can understand the pressure, but For me it’s more of a embarrassment about my own abilities. I literally get tense at the thought of cooking for a crowd, and somehow it doesn’t usually come right out right, but I have found a few things that work consistently. I love gadgets so, for me, using them helps. for instance, I love my instant pot and somehow that has made cooking very fun and exciting, not to mention easy. Same goes for the chopper, panini pan, and the list goes on lol I’m actually looking for a good food processor now, one that will last, as I’m trying not to buy things in plastic. I’m planning to start making my own hummus, etc.
I would love to take a class in vegetarian cooking, and I’ve even looked for it. There are basic things that I just cannot get right. Over the years I have observed friends and relatives and learn from them, and nowadays I use the Internet to google recipes. At one point I had a Thai vegetarian cookbook and learned some basic stir fry techniques from that.

My friends and family all know this is an issue for me. I joke about it all the time, and I have no issues with ordering food if that’s what it takes to enjoy myself at my own party!

[almostmom]

I really do love to cook. But I didn't know how when I got married, or like it. I think I like it now because I know what I want to eat, and I know I can make it better than anyone else! I'm going to like the quesadillas or nachos I make better than take out. I'm going to like the salad I make better than from a salad bar. I'm going to like the kung pao cauliflower better than anything I can buy, or that someone else can make. The ground turkey lettuce wraps. And DH will love it too. So it's a joy to cook food that we will both appreciate and it will be healthy. My kids - I enjoy making the few things that make them really happy - alfredo pasta with chicken and broccoli or homemade pizza. I like pouring a glass of wine, putting on a show, and cutting up veggies and cooking them. But we don't do family dinners that often because I want to enjoy the cooking, and that is always going to take longer than when my kids want to eat - DH and I often eat around 8. But if i did it every night, I couldn't. I don't have that time. So we eat out once a week (take out), and do easy things some other nights.
All this said, I work 32 hours a week (more like 30). So I'm home most afternoons by 4. When I can shop on the weekends and not have to stop at the store on my way home, all the better (that really drags on me, and my time). So I can get home, check in with my kids, and then start some cooking. That feels good. That all said, these days, my kids are usually at sports practice or games after school and when they get home they are starving, so I'll microwave some meatballs and sauce for a meatball sub, or some chicken nuggests, or stop and get them pizza on the way home. And then I'll cook something yummy for DH and I if I have the motivation (or he will when he gets home at 6:30 - he's a good cook too, just has a long commute).

I think that people who like small goal driven tasks (I love a jigsaw puzzle, mowing the lawn, sukoku), cooking can feel relaxing as there is a beginning and an end, cutting veggies is mindless but I like using my hands for things. I like being in my kitchen (that can make a big difference - do you like your space? Do you have the right tools?).

I also definitely prefer cooking things that are mindless (Mexican for example for me) so it is like a meditation. Following a recipe is fine, and I do it a lot, but it takes a lot more mental energy. So getting a few recipes under your belt that you feel confident doing, prancing around the kitchen, not thinking too hard, that might be more enjoyable.

[Melaine]

If your husband enjoys it and can do it then for pete’s Sake don’t worry about it! It’s ridiculously sexist (haha autocorrected to sexy) that anyone would judge you for not cooking if the cooking is being done perfectly well already by your husband.

in theory I enjoy cooking but when it becomes a constant obligation at end of endlessly long exhausting days and every meal must be prepared based on dietary restrictions....it’s definitely lost its appeal to me so I feel you.

[anonomom]

I can't say I ever hated cooking -- I liked to cook as a kid. But once it became a chore -- figuring out what to feed myself and (eventually) my family every day, I really started to dislike it. In fact, before I had kids, I'd pretty much opted out entirely and DH and lived on takeout.

What changed that were two things: 30 Minute Meals on the food network (this was a looong time ago), and my Mother In Law. I would watch Rachel Ray cook a whole meal without any muss or fuss, and I realized I could do that and it didn't seem onerous or scary. And at the same time I'd be at MIL's house and watch her putter around the kitchen, pulling this or that out of the fridge and pantry without any apparent plan, and I'd think to myself there was no way that could work, but suddenly there'd be a whole meal on the table. I think what I learned from them both was that cooking doesn't need to be fancy or super-planned. So I started just cooking. And now, I really like finding new recipes or ideas to try (even though it does, admittedly, suck when the kids turn up their noses).

That all said, there isn't a single thing wrong with not liking to cook, particularly with regard to entertaining. The point of having people over is to enjoy their company, so what could possibly be wrong with ordering something delicious or even putting together a variety of no-cook or prepared nibbles? As long as everyone is fed and comfortable, it's all good.

[legaleagle]

I don’t think you should bother if your DH likes to cook. Definitely don’t do it because relatives think a woman should do it.

I used to love to cook. But now it seems pointless to make interesting, creative meals because MAYBE one person in my family will appreciate the meal. I do 99% of the cooking in the family, but I rarely try new recipes unless I’m pretty sure at least two other family members will like it. If I had people who loved to eat what I’d cook, I would spend a lot more time cooking. DD (13) and her friends love to cook and bake. They make pretty typical meals (chicken fried rice) but fancy desserts (like rainbow crepe cake).


This is 100% my life - cooking now seems like being a short order chef at a diner. My husband is fairly picky too. We do Marley Spoon pretty much weekly so get a little variety in our diets. Fortunately my DD likes to cook and eat more interesting things (3 DS are all extremely picky) so maybe when she's a little older it can be a more fun mother-daughter project.

[basil]

I do like to cook and I don't really remember not liking it. I don't love rushing home from work and being hungry and kids being grumpy and trying to get a meal on the table under those circumstances, but generally I find it relaxing.

I like cooking because it ends in a product, and I generally like things that have a physical end object. I also like eating, so it ends in a product I happen to like. However, for me, there is no particular stress associated with cooking most of the time. Unlike what I do in most of my day (which I also enjoy, but is much more stressful, has a very low margin for error and grave consequences), cooking feels so relaxed! Who cares if it turns out? There's always more food in the house or chinese take out down the street. I like reading recipes and deriving some inspiration but then altering them to suit my taste or my habits, I often skip steps that I find finicky or boring.

I agree with PPs, though, I'm not sure why you want to force yourself to like something you don't if your husband does enjoy it! Have you ever cooked with your DH? I enjoy cooking with my mother, and sometimes my son now that he's getting old enough to do more things, as a social experience.

[AnnieW625]

I love to cook when I have time, but during the week I kind of dread it. Hello Fresh has made it a lot easier, but sadly I am going to have to discontinue that for a few months as we are trying to pad our savings for our move so we are cutting out little things, but I have a bunch of recipes saved so as long as I meal plan it shouldn’t be as hard to keep cooking the same kind of meals I will just have to get back in the habit of going to the store on the weekends.




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[dogmom]

I love to cook, but I find people who don’t like to cook usually like to bake or something else if they try. I lot of people feel overwhelmed by all that “cooking” entails. So something like baking, with very specific rules, often speaks to people. You can try something similar like below. Or try something like canning, or making different kinds of dip for a get together, etc. something that is a smaller area of expertise you can pull out occasionally. Then at the get togethers people will be, “You made the bread/cake/jam/dip/pate! It’s lovely!”

https://artisanbreadinfive.com/

[hbridge]

I hate to cook, but love to bake. We host every holiday. I do all the prep including all the cleaning and most of the shopping. DH loves to cook gourmet meals so he is the "day of" chef. I do all the cleanup and have the desserts done before the event.

It works. However, after almost 25 years of hosting every holiday and event, I would love a break from all of it!