Child upset about GT qualification

[twowhat?]

My DD2 (5th grade) came home with a letter that she qualified for GTi services in one functional area (in our district, everyone is tested and the GTi program is established). She came home with the letter, ripped it open frantically in front of me, read it, and BURST INTO TEARS. She sobbed that she just wants to be normal. What can I do/say to help her feel better about about the GT services? It's only one functional area, so she may get pulled out of class a little bit for that one subject, and then she would also be able to sign up for the GT class for that subject in middle school. Based on how highly she scores in this subject area (consistently off the range of the tests), we really think she SHOULD receive the GT services (I'm signing the consent form), but I need help to help her feel good about herself! It's too bad she got this letter just days after we met with her therapist, otherwise I could've brought it up then.

[KpbS]

I would reassure her she will be perfectly fine and normal, even going to enrichment (gt). ;). You are right to have her get stronger/challenged in her area of academic excellence, esp if it is math. It will open many doors for her later. She probably just needs to let it (the idea of gt) sink it for a bit and then experience the pull-out class to see all is a-ok. I’d probably try to drop the subject for now if she were mine.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Some day she’ll be glad to get pulled out of a boring class and/or have some cool new opportunity!


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[JustMe]

I would want to know more about why she feels she isnt normal, what she thinks it means to be normal, and why GT in particular is so difficult for her. Does she see the therapist regularly? If so, I would let the therapist know your dd's reaction so she can address it. OTOH, SnuggleBuggles has a good point. Maybe its not such a big deal and she will react well if you like tell her something like SnuggleBuggles suggested.

[JBaxter]

Our GT classes are way more fun that the general ed classes Ds4 said the kids in his GT class want to be there and there are a lot less kids messing around and making issues happen in class. The teachers love teaching the GT and do it a lot more creatively.

[hbridge]

If necessary, incentivize trying the program for one term. Let her know that you are proud of her and think it's a great opportunity, but understand her concerns. Make a deal for her to try the program and see how it goes. Make sure you listen to all of her concerns and, if appropriate, share them with the school and/or GT teacher.

Actually, I would be more concerned about why she feels so different. You might want to go into that with her, in depth at some point, unrelated to the GT program. Unique people are the best, but it is hard at that age to be "different".

[smilequeen]

Why does she thinks this makes her different in a negative way? I think figuring that out will help deal with it. My kids have always been happy to have challenges where they need them. Maybe explain that everyone has a set of strengths and this is one of hers. It's good to embrace your own strengths and recognize others so people can work together.

[Mommy_Mea]

My DS1 would probably feel similar, he doesn't like anything where he has to get pulled out of class. But once it is part of his "normal" he is fine. Not sure if it would help your daughter, but we explain to DS1 that kids leave class all the time for different things, and there is no "typical" for school, just a base schedule and then what is needed for all the kids.

[twowhat?]

Thanks everyone! She was in the mood to talk last night so I took your suggestions and asked her why she felt that GT made her "not normal" and she explained that it was just another thing on top of the medical issues she's already dealing with. She confessed that she was actually proud to have qualified for GT and that she's just extra anxious about an upcoming surgery. She's totally fine with getting pulled out for GT and taking the middle school GT course - she is bored in her current class and excited about potentially getting to work on some more interesting things as her teacher is constantly trying to come up with extra stuff for her to do. She said one day her teacher even put her forehead down on her desk trying to come up with something for her to do hahahaha. Poor teacher!