I just need to vent!

[gymnbomb]

Disclaimer: I understand that DH and I are incredibly lucky to still have our jobs.

This is one of my busiest weeks of the year at work. I know it will be, and I try to get ahead, but this year that was impossible since I am trying to work from home with a kindergartener and a 2 year old. So my husband was going to take a day off work so I could go to my office and work in peace and quiet for a whole day. (I needed a whole week, but was so thankful I was going to get a day, and I really needed it for both productivity and mental health reasons)

His co worker got Covid (from his girlfriend who is a nurse) and has been out for almost 3 weeks. So last minute DH had to go out of state overnight to cover an important account. Bye bye my day at the office. That was Tuesday. He was supposed to be home yesterday. But his company schedules techs to arrive the same day as equipment shipments, and the shipments were delayed. So he could only do one of the 3 locations Tuesday. Which meant he wouldn’t get home until Thursday. Then the third shipment didnt get there yesterday either. And isn’t scheduled to arrive until after lunch today. So very slim chance he will be home tonight, and if he does make it, likely won’t be until kids are in bed.

I have not handled this well. The stress of all of it is getting to me, and I had a really bad day Tuesday. Yesterday was better. I still only got an hour worth of work done, because it takes 6 hours to get an hour worth of work done with 2 young kids at home. And I can tell I am at my breaking point today and about to scream at my 2 year old for being a normal 2 year old.

I want nothing more than for daycare to open and for me to feel safe sending her. Which may or may not happen at all this summer.


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[Philly Mom]

Sending you lots of hugs. you have every right to feel all the emotions you are feeling. It often feels like child care is falling more on women in this pandemic and it causes so much stress.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

[emoji20] I’d have said screw it on the school work and turned on the tv for them all day!!


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[jgenie]

Sending huge hugs your way. :grouphug:

[gymnbomb]

[emoji20] I’d have said screw it on the school work and turned on the tv for them all day!!


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They are currently in the basement watching Frozen 2 :) But even that doesn’t occupy the 2 year old long enough for me to get a good chunk of work done. And because I am stressed I am having trouble concentrating when I do get some time. I was able to delegate a little bit of stuff to a TA, and I am accepting that the class I am prepping will be just fine but not the nicer version I had planned for it to be.


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[georgiegirl]

Lots of hugs. I can’t imagine how anyone works from home with young kids.


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[gymnbomb]

And now DH is texting about hating his job and them having unreasonable expectations for the next 2 weeks and him being about ready to f'ing quit his job (which I'm sure he won't really, he just says stuff like that, and it always bothers me but I try to let it go). I'm not answering because there is nothing I want to say that would be at all polite. I would LOVE to go work a few long days away from home right now. I'm sure it's just as stressful for him in different ways, and it's a "grass is always greener" scenario. But we're supposed to be buying a new house next year (postponed from this year due to current situation), and I'm not going to respond well to any mention of quitting his job.

[newnana]

HUGE hugs. I hear ya. DH and I are both essential as well and working close to 80 hours a week right now, while being required to take mandatory PTO..s insert Stepfordish, "I'm such a lucky girl" here. Luckily, we can both do our jobs from home. I'm working with a bunch of folks with toddlers and cannot imagine trying to do that. Our DD is a teen that has been asked to babysit for folks working, and we've had to say no due to how the babysitting is set up, DH being immunocompromised, and he and DD being high risk.

I know you aren't asking for solutions, BUT, for a one off case like this? I would find a way to have a social distancing babysitter, if both families having been essentially quarantined for 2 weeks I would let DD babysit like so: Garden hose, baby pool, water balloons etc outside? Lawn chair or beach towel taped off 10 feet away (you know, prolonged exposure). Teen sets up near by obstacle course with pool noodles and hula hoops etc while little ones play in water. Everyone sidewalk chalks then gets to run through the sprinkler.... all outside at a distance. Cooler outside with cheese sticks, fruits, water bottles, sunscreen. Minute to win it games set up by teen - buckets and balls for ball toss, hold hula hoop up to toss, etc. Anything that requires closer than 6 feet like a diaper change, teen texts mom sos. Teen needs bathroom? text mom sos and walks home really quick. Ideal? no. Work for you to set up? My word, yes. Good for the teen to have something to do, good for you to have a little time to focus. my teen desperately misses hanging with the toddler crowd, she would love this. Just an idea.

Hang in there, it sounds like a no-win situation right now

[Kestrel]

Sorry you're struggling! I hope your DH gets home safe, and you get both a workday and a break this weekend!

[gymnbomb]

HUGE hugs. I hear ya. DH and I are both essential as well and working close to 80 hours a week right now, while being required to take mandatory PTO..s insert Stepfordish, "I'm such a lucky girl" here. Luckily, we can both do our jobs from home. I'm working with a bunch of folks with toddlers and cannot imagine trying to do that. Our DD is a teen that has been asked to babysit for folks working, and we've had to say no due to how the babysitting is set up, DH being immunocompromised, and he and DD being high risk.

I know you aren't asking for solutions, BUT, for a one off case like this? I would find a way to have a social distancing babysitter, if both families having been essentially quarantined for 2 weeks I would let DD babysit like so: Garden hose, baby pool, water balloons etc outside? Lawn chair or beach towel taped off 10 feet away (you know, prolonged exposure). Teen sets up near by obstacle course with pool noodles and hula hoops etc while little ones play in water. Everyone sidewalk chalks then gets to run through the sprinkler.... all outside at a distance. Cooler outside with cheese sticks, fruits, water bottles, sunscreen. Minute to win it games set up by teen - buckets and balls for ball toss, hold hula hoop up to toss, etc. Anything that requires closer than 6 feet like a diaper change, teen texts mom sos. Teen needs bathroom? text mom sos and walks home really quick. Ideal? no. Work for you to set up? My word, yes. Good for the teen to have something to do, good for you to have a little time to focus. my teen desperately misses hanging with the toddler crowd, she would love this. Just an idea.

Hang in there, it sounds like a no-win situation right now

This would be a great idea if we had decent weather and knew any trustworthy teens that lived nearby!

[WatchingThemGrow]

Oh, I hate that for you. Just wondering if you could do a picture schedule for them and pay the 5yo to "babysit" and follow the schedule...at least for a couple hours. Maybe put their meals/snacks (premade, even lunchable types) in the fridge so you can at least just cruise through your work during that time...and a curious george marathon during their lunch? I cannot imagine the DH issue though. Expecting you were going to get some real work time and what you end up with is someone else's ranting!? Totally unfair.

[Philly Mom]

I would just hire a sitter. There are lots of sitters who want work and would be ok that your DH is working outside the house. To me, the risk would be worth it. If my kids were younger, i would definitely be entertaining it.


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[gymnbomb]

I would just hire a sitter. There are lots of sitters who want work and would be ok that your DH is working outside the house. To me, the risk would be worth it. If my kids were younger, i would definitely be entertaining it.


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I would totally consider hiring our favorite sitter (she works at our daycare that is currently closed), but DH would not be ok with it. And the argument would cause more stress than the sitter would relieve. We very rarely argue. He is a great husband and a great Dad. He is the one who offered to take some days off work so I could go to my office (and it totally wasn't his fault that he couldn't this week), and he encourages me to go on vacations with my mom and leave the kids home with him. He cooks dinner almost every night. So I don't want to make it sound like he doesn't do his part the huge majority of the time. But we have not picked the same parts of this to worry about, and I think that has made it more difficult for all of us. So he doesn't worry at all about going to walmart for groceries or stopping by Lowes 3 times in 1 week because he needs a different part to fix the fence, but I insist on curbside pickup for groceries and hate even having to go inside Target to pick up orders there. But for the longest time he wouldn't get takeout from a restaurant when I was ok with it.

It will all be fine in the end. Thanks for letting me vent.

[bisous]

Oh gosh, OP. I’m sorry. I am not in this position now but I’ve thought many times about how much harder this would all be if I had very little ones. My 6yo is already trying enough but my kids were such that age 2 I never got a minute to rest and think let alone WORK. That’s so much pressure and so hard. It totally stinks.

[smiles33]

Couldn't read this and not send a virtual hug! I cannot imagine trying to work and be the primary parent for 2 little ones. I'm having trouble doing my work even though my older kids (10 and 13) are totally self-sufficient and in online classes all day. Hope the week ends on a better note.

[gymnbomb]

Thanks for the virtual hugs and the opportunity to whine! Only half of DH’s shipment arrived today, so he wasn’t able to work at all, just spent the day at his hotel watching movies. They told him he had to stay and wait for it to arrive tomorrow (he is a 6 hour drive from home). The company did at least pay for the “by 9 am tomorrow” shipping. He says they frequently don’t include all the necessary parts, but this time there were 8 boxes missing. He says he is coming home tomorrow whether it is done or not.


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