would you send your child to parochial school this fall?

[basil]

Our school system has not published an official plan yet for fall reopening, but reading the tea leaves, I think a hybrid model is likely, especially initially.

We are in MA where cases (knock on wood) remain low, right now. Assume for the sake of discussion that this continues, though obviously there is no guarantee.

State guidelines say desks spaced 3-6 feet apart, cohorting, cleaning, masks, and hygeine.

I suspect our local elementary school may struggle with the space requirements which would push toward a hybrid model. There is also the issue of the teachers' union, which has called for at least a month of virtual leaning prior to even going back to a hybrid program https://www.wgbh.org/news/education/2020/07/15/massachusetts-teachers-unions-unveil-four-phased-reopening-plan.

There is a small Catholic school in our town. They have a presentation on their website which is a recorded Zoom meeting where the principal goes over their plan to adhere to the guidelines. They have photos of their classrooms adhering to the guidelines of spacing. They don't have a teachers' union, and they seem to be working over the summer to prepare for reopening.

Obviously no one can predict what's going to happen in the fall, but I think there is a better chance of my kids getting a 5 day in person education at this school than at our public school. The price is not insignificant ($8k a year for each kid), but we can afford it. My neighbors sent their kids there for K-1 before they moved away and were happy with it.

My sticking point is that I'm not Catholic or even close to it.

Thoughts?

[MSWR0319]

Our school system has not published an official plan yet for fall reopening, but reading the tea leaves, I think a hybrid model is likely, especially initially.

We are in MA where cases (knock on wood) remain low, right now. Assume for the sake of discussion that this continues, though obviously there is no guarantee.

State guidelines say desks spaced 3-6 feet apart, cohorting, cleaning, masks, and hygeine.

I suspect our local elementary school may struggle with the space requirements which would push toward a hybrid model. There is also the issue of the teachers' union, which has called for at least a month of virtual leaning prior to even going back to a virtual program https://www.wgbh.org/news/education/2020/07/15/massachusetts-teachers-unions-unveil-four-phased-reopening-plan.

There is a small Catholic school in our town. They have a presentation on their website which is a recorded Zoom meeting where the principal goes over their plan to adhere to the guidelines. They have photos of their classrooms adhering to the guidelines of spacing. They don't have a teachers' union, and they seem to be working over the summer to prepare for reopening.

Obviously no one can predict what's going to happen in the fall, but I think there is a better chance of my kids getting a 5 day in person education at this school than at our public school. The price is not insignificant ($8k a year for each kid), but we can afford it. My neighbors sent their kids there for K-1 before they moved away and were happy with it.

My sticking point is that I'm not Catholic or even close to it.

Thoughts?

It's on our list as an option, but ours hasn't put a plan out yet. And we are not Catholic either.

[Kestrel]

I think you need to ask how much religious instruction will there be, and how do you feel about that? (Our household would be a big no on this.)
I think the majority of private schools - parochial or not - will do better with distancing and cleaning, masks and such. How dependent is your household on getting the 5 day a week classes?
We have also had a lot of religious schools in our area be much less accepting of gay/transgender students, also something I would ask about.
This is a very individual decision based on the needs of your specific kids and household (adult jobs, finances, health risks.)

[basil]

I think you need to ask how much religious instruction will there be, and how do you feel about that? (Our household would be a big no on this.)
I think the majority of private schools - parochial or not - will do better with distancing and cleaning, masks and such. How dependent is your household on getting the 5 day a week classes?
We have also had a lot of religious schools in our area be much less accepting of gay/transgender students, also something I would ask about.
This is a very individual decision based on the needs of your specific kids and household (adult jobs, finances, health risks.)

My neighbor who sent her kids there said that the religion aspect was not too overwhelming (they weren't Catholic either), but they did start their Zoom meeting with a prayer, so it's not zero.

Household is not dependent on kids being in school (childcare will be ok), but I am very concerned with my particular kids' mental health from being out of school. Generally, I wouldn't want to disrupt their friendships, but if they would potentially not be seeing their friends anyway, doesn't really matter.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Plenty of non Catholic people send their kids to Catholic schools.


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[bisous]

I think it sounds like a smart choice for your family. Who knows what will happen with the public schools this year. In know in-person schooling is really important for your DS and if you enroll you’d have it for sure! A year is a LONG time for a child. This whole year has potential to be disrupted. I think if you got that schooling piece out of the way it would give you a lot of peace of mind!

[smilequeen]

While DH and I were raised Catholic, we are not religious. Our older boys go to a private Catholic school (not parochial or diocesan based, so probably more than average on the non Catholic student population). They do prayer at beginning and end of the day. Monthly mass. Theology class. That’s the extent of the religion. Catholic school...having also gone my whole life is not big on pushing religion into every subject. So that’s my take on the religious aspect. My oldest has no problem stating that he isn’t religious in religion class, and with voicing his different opinions...his freshman year theology teacher still adored him and he was an A student. And she was his favorite teacher even though he’s not religious. So so far, they love the school (all boys is a good fit and the main reason we are in Catholic as there aren’t any secular single gender schools here).

That said, my kids in private schools are going back in person. This is my preference as my kids are low risk, as are DH and I. As long as I felt that the school was making plans to do things as safely as possible...and that means that the teachers feel that the school has a good plan to keep them as safe as possible...my kids were going. If that’s how you feel about the school’s safety plan and you really want your kids back in school...I’d definitely consider it.

That said, I fully expect that the school could also need to go to distance at some point, even if temporarily. So make sure you are also happy with the contingency plan.

[DualvansMommy]

Keep in mind, just because it’s a private pariachol school, it doesn’t necessarily mean class size will be smaller. A good friend of mine has her DD in a Catholic school where the class size is 25! It’s still smaller than their public districts.

I’m Catholic but knew plenty of families in town send their kids to catholic schools. I would ask lots of questions on their class size and how their virtual learning look like if you guys ever have a lockdown again. My kids public district released their plans for Sept and it’s significantly better than what we had with Spring distance learning.


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[basil]

I think it sounds like a smart choice for your family. Who knows what will happen with the public schools this year. In know in-person schooling is really important for your DS and if you enroll you’d have it for sure! A year is a LONG time for a child. This whole year has potential to be disrupted. I think if you got that schooling piece out of the way it would give you a lot of peace of mind!

I don't think Catholic school means that there isn't a potential for disruption. If we had another surge, I expect the state would shut down both private and public schools again. I don't think anyone can really predict that right now. I could pay $16k and end up in the same situation, and i have no idea and no real way of knowing if their remote learning would look that much better than public school. (My DH's partner sends his kids to a very expensive private school in Boston ($40k/year school) and was very unsatisfied with the remote learning this spring).

It's not just my son (who is SO much better now with a few hours a day of baseball camp) but my daughter had made a lot of progress in her social skills under the care of a great K teacher, and now has lost it all. Two weeks of tennis camp and didn't talk to a soul the whole time..:(

[Kindra178]

We are contemplating a private Catholic prep (non diocese) high school for the very reasons you mentioned. I am Catholic, so this isn't a big leap for me. I have talked to several parents (friends and acquaintances) about their experiences at this school. Is there a way you can do the same?

Our elementary schools are going back full time, which comports with the research. You should push your school to do so.

[bisous]

I don't think Catholic school means that there isn't a potential for disruption. If we had another surge, I expect the state would shut down both private and public schools again. I don't think anyone can really predict that right now. I could pay $16k and end up in the same situation, and i have no idea and no real way of knowing if their remote learning would look that much better than public school. (My DH's partner sends his kids to a very expensive private school in Boston ($40k/year school) and was very unsatisfied with the remote learning this spring).

It's not just my son (who is SO much better now with a few hours a day of baseball camp) but my daughter had made a lot of progress in her social skills under the care of a great K teacher, and now has lost it all. Two weeks of tennis camp and didn't talk to a soul the whole time..:(

I guess part of your decision needs to be based on the quality of the distance learning too then? I really hope some of the schools CAN stay open. Your part of the world is doing better than most of the country right now. I actually really, really mourn the loss of part of a K year for my DD too. It is truly impossible to replicate K. :(

[Green_Tea]

The questions that would influence my decision would be:

1. What are the qualifications of the teachers? Are they licensed?

2. How much of the curriculum is religiously influenced?

3. What are their hard class size caps?

[AnnieW625]

We are sending both our girls to Catholic school this fall. Dd1’s high school is starting online on 8/7 because our new county is on the county watchlist. She is bummed about it, but we hope it won’t last long. She did her algebra 1 review, and a get to know high school course this summer and I was super impressed with how things were handled by the school.

We enrolled Dd2 in the Catholic elementary school last Thursday and the governor announced on Friday that schools were closed so I am sort of bummed about possibly starting the school year online, but Dd2’s school doesn’t start until 8/17 (so that is a week after the public schools set to start and the public school hadn’t gotten close to finalizing their plan) and I am hopeful that maybe the county will be off the watch list by then. We were also impressed with the size of the classrooms, the in person learning plan the diocese had put out, aides in grade class, music, art, and science programs, and the fact that they capped the class sizes at 30 (Dd2 I student #29). It was a hard decision for us but I hope it will be the right one. The new principal also has a background in distance education options because she was a teacher and assistant principal at a charter school that had a traditional home school curriculum as well as an in person option.

In general we knew plenty of people at Dd1’s old school who aren’t Catholic and sent their kids there. Dd1 has friends who are Greek Orthodox, Coptic Christian, and not religious (outside of school) at all. She also had a few who converted or whose parents ended up completing their sacraments. We knew a few culturally Jewish (those who celebrated high holidays, but weren’t active in a synagogue) families as well. The kids attended mass weekly, had a religion class, said morning prayers, did a Christmas program, had a Our Lady of Guadalupe mass, and did Stations of the Cross in middle school. The school did not have an issue with kids not making sacraments and it was understood that those kids would get a day off when those sacraments took place. I think it just comes down to how comfortable with a Catholic education.

ETA: we are paying $6050 in tuition for the elementary school, and $9,500 for the high school. Teachers are required to be credentialed.

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[georgiegirl]

The Catholic part wouldn’t bother me (as an atheist). DS2 did TK at a catholic school, and we loved it.

I’d get info on class size and what precautions they are implementing. My main hesitation would be paying $16K if it’s all going to be online.

Do your kids know anyone there? Do they want to go to that school?

[carolinamama]

Based on your previous posts, I sense that it is very important to you for your kids to be back in school this fall. A private school is probably your best chance of that happening, even if it does still run the risk of going remote at some point. Most private schools have been planning since last spring for a return to campus and making modifications as needed. It makes since to evaluate all your options.

DS2 and DD will be going to a Catholic school this fall but it was all planned before the pandemic hit. We are not Catholic either although I grew up in Catholic schools as a non-Catholic. It's a comfortable environment for me given my history. Our experience is that religion isn't weaved through the curriculum (no Biblical worldview, which is very popular in the Christian schools in our area) but the day begins with a prayer and they do have religion class. We are a hard no on the Christian schools here.

[StantonHyde]

Both of my kids went to/are in Catholic schools. It has been an excellent education and really hit home on a trip to Italy. My kids knew all of the themes in the art because they know bible stories and the saints. My daughter did well in her public school ancient civilization and art history classes due to her religious education. I am a Quaker and my husband is agnostic at best.

DS’s catholic high school is going to be back 2 days a week—it’s only 450 kids. DDs public school is going to be a total crap shoot 3,000 kids from higher risk areas. She will be ok with online and is only a sophomore so she will make it for this semester. I don’t know about the whole year....

[essnce629]

We have a private Catholic high school down the street from our house and I know several Jewish families who send their kids there (because it's way cheaper than the non-religious private schools, like less than half the price). They have been happy.

I would also check the class sizes. My best friend's husband has taught at a private Catholic k-8 school for 10 years and a few years his class size got up to 35 kids in a class, with no aids or anything.

[jgenie]

We are Catholic. If you’re ok with a bit of religion during the day, I think your kids will be fine. I would check on their class Size caps. In our area Catholic schools have very little funding. Class sizes are often larger than public school class sizes. Make sure you’re comfortable with their cyber school plan. I have a feeling all schools will be shutting down at some point this academic year.

[PunkyBoo]

I’d get info on class size and what precautions they are implementing. My main hesitation would be paying $16K if it’s all going to be online.


This. There is a very strong possibility EVERYWHERE that schools will need to close and/or revert to remote learning at some point during the next school year. So are you willing to pay the extra $$ to have them getting online education? For me, that answer would be no. Additionally, I think starting in person then switching to online would be more disruptive than starting online to begin with. In my mind, it also puts a higher level of importance in having the reopening be safe, rather than just saying "we can always re-close if things go bad".

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[basil]

Thanks, these are all good things to think about and get more information on!

The safety protocols look good to me. I'm sure some disagree, but I believe that going back to school in an area of low prevalence (which we are right now), with distancing measures, masks, and extra time and effort on hygiene and cleaning is safe. The Zoom meeting video on the website did go over all those things and how they will accomplish them, how they have been buying up PPE, pictures of the classroom desks set up, etc.

There are no caps on class sizes listed on their website. They say class sizes are "around 15, give or take a few". This is not substantially different than our public school, my kids' classes were both in the low 20s last year, but may be enough to squeeze into those distancing requirements.

I'm ok with my kids learning about religion. I'm not ok with proselytizing...My neighbor who sent her kids there for K-1 said it wasn't like that. I would not be ok with overtly anti-LGBTQ sentiment but I get the impression it's more just ignored. I don't get the sense that the science curriculum is different than what I believe. My kids aren't at ages where I need to worry about birth control/etc that I would disagree with the Catholic Church about.

I don't want to spend $16k to do online school necessarily...unless it were better than public school, which is difficult to evaluate. I need more info on that for sure. I also don't want to uproot my kids' friendships and routine AND spend $16k if public school ends up opening after all. But I don't know how likely that is to happen.

[mmsmom]

I would just encourage you to pursue it and apply now even if you change your mind. As soon as public school announced they would be virtual all private schools were overwhelmed with interest and most have been full since last spring. Some of the smaller religious schools have a few openings and now they are scrambling to figure out how to determine who gets those spaces. A friend just said the Catholic school they are applying to had one testing day and now they are adding 8 additional
days just to be able to offer tests to everyone.

So you may lose some time and a deposit but if you are interested, apply and commit now then you can always change your mind and I am sure they will have a long waiting list so can easily fill the spot.

[AnnieW625]

This. There is a very strong possibility EVERYWHERE that schools will need to close and/or revert to remote learning at some point during the next school year. So are you willing to pay the extra $$ to have them getting online education? For me, that answer would be no. Additionally, I think starting in person then switching to online would be more disruptive than starting online to begin with. In my mind, it also puts a higher level of importance in having the reopening be safe, rather than just saying "we can always re-close if things go bad".

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We know plenty of people who are paying more than $12k for a high school education in our general area, and it is going to be online. We are paying $9,500, which still isn’t a bargain, but still slightly better cost wise (it works out to be $120 more a month than Dd1’s elementary school). If it were $16k for high school and $10k+ for elementary school we would have definitely been more serious about public school, especially for Dd1. We are thankful to have diocese supported schools. My dad’s alma mater in Pasadena is $17k, and that is considered affordable; the pricier single sex Catholic options are over $20k a year and up there that is pretty standard for tuition, and everyone seems to go to private school.


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[westwoodmom04]

I am certainly not a fan of dl but in our area, this too was way better than what the public’s were able to do, so I think even if there is some remote learning next year, you may still be happier with the parochial option. It’s simply a question of scale and resources.

[niccig]

Would you move them back to public when this is over (please soon!) or keep them there? Just wondering about so many changes in a couple of years and changing friends. Would they lose their spot at their regular school?


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[Kindra178]

I'm ok with my kids learning about religion. I'm not ok with proselytizing...My neighbor who sent her kids there for K-1 said it wasn't like that.

.

Catholics don't proselytize, it's not a thing. I suspect a Massachusetts Catholic school will be as liberal as they come.

[carolinamama]

I'm ok with my kids learning about religion. I'm not ok with proselytizing...My neighbor who sent her kids there for K-1 said it wasn't like that. I would not be ok with overtly anti-LGBTQ sentiment but I get the impression it's more just ignored. I don't get the sense that the science curriculum is different than what I believe. My kids aren't at ages where I need to worry about birth control/etc that I would disagree with the Catholic Church about.


We are not ok with proselytizing either and found the Catholic schools near us to work with our family beliefs. Religion feels more like religious history, but we are loosely Episcopalians so most sacraments and prayers are familiar. This is exactly why we had to cross of every local "Christian" school off our list. I remember growing up in Catholic school as a non-Catholic, if something came up about religion or more conservative families, my parents explained plainly that different people have different beliefs. It all worked out fine except for the time I was playing at a friend's house and corrected her on how babies were made. It wasn't the stork. My mom got a real earful from that mom. :oops:

[California]

For your situation it sounds like a good fit, and definitely if you want to pursue it do so ASAP as spots may fill up fast. Our local Catholic k-5 schools all have weekly mass, daily prayers, and Bible lessons. But, it’s pretty gently done. Several of my (non-Catholic) friends opted for Catholic elementary and then switched to public for 6th and up. If you ever want to switch back to public, that’s a good point to do so.

[KpbS]

Yes, many parochial schools got distance learning right last spring and will continue to improve on those methods resulting in learning success for students.

[ahisma]

I would not in this situation. Moving away from your public school creates a financial loss for that school. If you want to return to public, it's important to support them. Many public schools are facing incredible hardships based on loss of students on top of reduced funding.

I hear your frustration with the teacher's union, but historically unions have pushed for enhanced safety - and they are now too. If safety is a goal, there is a lot of value to having the union weigh in. Teachers WANT to teach. Many have spent the summer developing plans for all sorts of scenarios.

If you want to move to parochial permanently, fine. But switching short term really undermines public education.

[basil]

I would not in this situation. Moving away from your public school creates a financial loss for that school. If you want to return to public, it's important to support them. Many public schools are facing incredible hardships based on loss of students on top of reduced funding.

I hear your frustration with the teacher's union, but historically unions have pushed for enhanced safety - and they are now too. If safety is a goal, there is a lot of value to having the union weigh in. Teachers WANT to teach. Many have spent the summer developing plans for all sorts of scenarios.

If you want to move to parochial permanently, fine. But switching short term really undermines public education.

Interesting. How does paying for private school change the funding of the public school? I would think there would be the same amount of tax money to support fewer # of students...

[marymoo86]

Funding is based on headcount during first 10 days at least here.

Your children’s education is top priority.

[Kindra178]

Interesting. How does paying for private school change the funding of the public school? I would think there would be the same amount of tax money to support fewer # of students...

Federal and state money is determined by some sort of headcount. But some states are moving away from that.


Marymoo, agree. It’s also the SEL side that will suffer. These kids are already behind because of technology. Now it will be worse.



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[basil]

Funding is based on headcount during first 10 days at least here.

Your children’s education is top priority.

This is in reference to state or federal funding? I've never seen local school budgets referred to in a "per child" sort of way. Best I can tell, in my district, state funding is about $2k/kid.

If this headcount thing in MA applies, I can't find anything about it online. My mom (who was a MA teacher for a zillion years) also never heard of it..

Weird.

[mmsmom]

This is in reference to state or federal funding? I've never seen local school budgets referred to in a "per child" sort of way. Best I can tell, in my district, state funding is about $2k/kid.

If this headcount thing in MA applies, I can't find anything about it online. My mom (who was a MA teacher for a zillion years) also never heard of it..

Weird.

Headcount is crucial in both PA and NC where we have lived. In PA they are very strict about attending in your own district because property taxes pay for schools in your township so they do not want someone from one township coming into another township where they do not live and pay taxes. There is a whole team of people that ensures enforcement. They absolutely know per kid where they are in school and where the funding for that kid goes. Sometimes kids attend other districts for certain programs that are not offered in that district and the local district pays for that. In NC there is a count taken a few weeks after school starts which determines funding and resources for that school. Teachers can be hired moved to another school that has more kids than expected. In both states attendance is tracked very carefully because they do not get $ when kids are not in school. I remember the principal in PA talking about this because there were students who would go back to their home countries for weeks and they would have to unenroll them so they wouldn’t receive funds and re- enroll when they returned.

[marymoo86]

Usually it is some formula based on how schools are funded locally + state + federal and that applies per headcount.

Mobile but googling those key words should bring up info.

[Liziz]

I don't think I'd switch. My understanding is the biggest reason you're really set on in person school is because of the awful impact it's had on your son, and your desire for him to have socialization. (and to be clear, I totally understand this and think it's a very reasonable position) It sounds like you think the public schools will open with a hybrid model, so your kids will get some time in school/socialization. I don't think the additional couple days of school would be worth the move to a totally new school, which can be really tough. I also think that in this world of social distancing, it will be even harder to be the new kid and build new friend groups. Families are getting more insular lately -- will it be easier to find friends to get together with at your current school, where people know you, or at a new school? It also sounds like this school is smaller, and that your kids thrive on extracurricular activities -- while I realize all schools are limited on that right now, if things improve do you want him to have access to the things he had at his public school?

If I misinterpreted your desire for 5 day a week education, and what you're really looking for is primarily the most consistent academic environment, then my answer may be different. If you think this small school will be able to stay open much more than your public schools, then maybe for that reason it's worth it.

However, what you really asked about being a non-Catholic at a Catholic school. I attended Catholic school my entire life. I'm Catholic, but there were always several non-Catholic students in my class. We started the day with a prayer, we had a designated religion class, and we went to Mass twice a month, give or take. All classrooms had a crucifix on the wall somewhere, and we wore uniforms (which now I know many public schools do too). Other than than, it was just like any other school. The curriculum for the non-religion subjects was totally secular. I learned science just like anywhere else. Even in the actual religion class, a lot of it focused on history, and on "The Church teaches" vs. "this is the only right way to live".

[SnuggleBuggles]

Special education services aren’t always as strong of available at private schools should your kids qualify. Just something to consider.


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[basil]

I don't think I'd switch. My understanding is the biggest reason you're really set on in person school is because of the awful impact it's had on your son, and your desire for him to have socialization. (and to be clear, I totally understand this and think it's a very reasonable position) It sounds like you think the public schools will open with a hybrid model, so your kids will get some time in school/socialization. I don't think the additional couple days of school would be worth the move to a totally new school, which can be really tough. I also think that in this world of social distancing, it will be even harder to be the new kid and build new friend groups. Families are getting more insular lately -- will it be easier to find friends to get together with at your current school, where people know you, or at a new school? It also sounds like this school is smaller, and that your kids thrive on extracurricular activities -- while I realize all schools are limited on that right now, if things improve do you want him to have access to the things he had at his public school?

If I misinterpreted your desire for 5 day a week education, and what you're really looking for is primarily the most consistent academic environment, then my answer may be different. If you think this small school will be able to stay open much more than your public schools, then maybe for that reason it's worth it.

However, what you really asked about being a non-Catholic at a Catholic school. I attended Catholic school my entire life. I'm Catholic, but there were always several non-Catholic students in my class. We started the day with a prayer, we had a designated religion class, and we went to Mass twice a month, give or take. All classrooms had a crucifix on the wall somewhere, and we wore uniforms (which now I know many public schools do too). Other than than, it was just like any other school. The curriculum for the non-religion subjects was totally secular. I learned science just like anywhere else. Even in the actual religion class, a lot of it focused on history, and on "The Church teaches" vs. "this is the only right way to live".

This is good feedback, thanks.

Part of it is the socialization aspect. The other part is that he HATED online school. Started to just hate learning/school in general. I feel that for him, that's a dangerous place to be. I really worry he will grow up disliking education, and I feel like it's important for him to get a good education to have a happy and productive life. He would wake up and dread a day of doing online work, whereas before he had never complained about going to school at all. I think for him, it was like if all of the sudden you had to do only the worst parts of your job all the time, and never got to do the things you like about your job.

He's a smart and curious boy, but not so into structure and organization, so being self directed was very hard for him. He would do the absolute bare minimum. If the assignment said to write a paragraph of 4 sentences at least 5 words each, his paragraph would be EXACTLY 20 words. This summer has been much better and I've been able to "sneak" education into the things he is interested in...we rode our bikes around an old military base, then did some online research on it, then he drew some pictures, etc.

My daughter was also harmed by the loss of 1/3 of her K year. She didn't speak in preschool to a teacher, to a kid, to anyone. Then in K she started talking to her teacher, then to other kids, then by the winter had developed real friendships with 3 other little girls and was getting invited to playdates regularly. Now that's all gone and she's back to not speaking with anyone. I don't know how a hybrid model would work for her. She was happy during remote learning - but I think a bit damaging for her to spend so much time in her comfort zone. I'm a bit worried about having her start over with new friends, but it's been so so long since she's even seen the old friends I don't know how much difference it even makes.

The school is a bit smaller than our elementary school but our school is small to start with. Our school has 3 classes/grade, ave 20-22 in each class. Catholic school has 2 classes/grade, 15 kids in each class. I usually think that smaller class sizes are better for most kids.

I have not asked them if they want to go to a new school. I'm sure the answer would be no. But if asked if they want to go to a new school in person vs. staying home online, I'm sure they would choose in person.

[doberbrat]

I was told a couple of years ago in a School Site Council meeting that there is a portion of funding that is based on attendance. The context of the discussion was attendance policies. I believe it is state funding but that wasnt where my focus was so I cant be sure.

As for whether you want to make the change, only you can decide what is best for your family. In general, I dont think its a huge deal to switch schools. I have kids that started in my class in Feb and its like they were always there. BUT during this COVID period, I would not switch. Most families have set friendships in limited numbers. New kid no one knows likely isnt going to get invited anywhere. Esp if you're adding not being Catholic and that its only a temporary change.


Normally I dont think not being Catholic is a big deal, there were always a couple in my classes when I was in school, but I think the combo of all 3 could make the transition more difficult than it would have at the beginning of last year.

[SnuggleBuggles]

This is good feedback, thanks.

Part of it is the socialization aspect. The other part is that he HATED online school. Started to just hate learning/school in general. I feel that for him, that's a dangerous place to be. I really worry he will grow up disliking education, and I feel like it's important for him to get a good education to have a happy and productive life. He would wake up and dread a day of doing online work, whereas before he had never complained about going to school at all. I think for him, it was like if all of the sudden you had to do only the worst parts of your job all the time, and never got to do the things you like about your job.

He's a smart and curious boy, but not so into structure and organization, so being self directed was very hard for him. He would do the absolute bare minimum. If the assignment said to write a paragraph of 4 sentences at least 5 words each, his paragraph would be EXACTLY 20 words. This summer has been much better and I've been able to "sneak" education into the things he is interested in...we rode our bikes around an old military base, then did some online research on it, then he drew some pictures, etc.

My daughter was also harmed by the loss of 1/3 of her K year. She didn't speak in preschool to a teacher, to a kid, to anyone. Then in K she started talking to her teacher, then to other kids, then by the winter had developed real friendships with 3 other little girls and was getting invited to playdates regularly. Now that's all gone and she's back to not speaking with anyone. I don't know how a hybrid model would work for her. She was happy during remote learning - but I think a bit damaging for her to spend so much time in her comfort zone. I'm a bit worried about having her start over with new friends, but it's been so so long since she's even seen the old friends I don't know how much difference it even makes.

The school is a bit smaller than our elementary school but our school is small to start with. Our school has 3 classes/grade, ave 20-22 in each class. Catholic school has 2 classes/grade, 15 kids in each class. I usually think that smaller class sizes are better for most kids.

I have not asked them if they want to go to a new school. I'm sure the answer would be no. But if asked if they want to go to a new school in person vs. staying home online, I'm sure they would choose in person.

Hey- points awarded for creativity, if you ask me for ds! Could you write a paragraph using only 20 words?! That would take some skill!
Have you talked to MsPacman regarding possible selective mutism and her journey with dd? Not sure if you’re walking the same path but her dd really flourished after interventions. She’d be a great resource.


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[California]

Hmm, this new info on your DD changes my answer a bit. Before going with the parochial, I’d ask the public school admin if they are moving students up as a class/cohort, and if your DD can be placed with the same girls she befriended last year. With hybrid, she’d get a chance to see them in person. I’d ask the public school admin to give more info on how many hours of in-person instruction they’ll get with the hybrid model, as that will benefit both your kids. As your numbers continue to drop, the parents may be more open to park play dates, too. In my area numbers are going up and I know for a fact my former students are meeting up for bike rides at local parks. If your area is improving, parents may be even more inclined to get their kids out to play together!

I have no idea what your school/district is doing. At my particular school on a whole different state, we are moving kids up as a group so they start the school year with people they know. Our PTO is funding (optional) training for teachers to improve online teaching, with an emphasis on emotional support. I’d at least ask if anything like that is happening at your public school.

[elizamom]

We have explored private school options as well. What it boiled down to for us was one question: Will we be ok with paying roughly $10k per child and then having them go virtual? Our answer was no. In our area, we feel pretty sure that’s what will happen.
I agree with what everyone else has already said about the religious part probably not being an issue. It seems like most religious schools are very accepting of everyone, regardless of religious beliefs. At least, that’s what we’ve seen.
Another huge factor for us was the size of the school. I’d want the private school to be at least half the size of the public school.
There are so many other factors to consider though. I absolutely think private school is a great option right now for many families.

[basil]

Hey- points awarded for creativity, if you ask me for ds! Could you write a paragraph using only 20 words?! That would take some skill!
Have you talked to MsPacman regarding possible selective mutism and her journey with dd? Not sure if you’re walking the same path but her dd really flourished after interventions. She’d be a great resource.

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Oh yes, so many stories to tell about "creative" ways DS tried to avoid school work this spring!

I did follow MsPacman's posts re her DD with a lot of interest. I was probably myself on that spectrum at my DD's age. She was making a lot of progress this year in K, though, that we didn't want to rock the boat, so we held off on further evals/treatments/etc. Now I'm just hoping that all is not lost.

California - we did request DD be put in classes with her friends when the school asked for input (this is normal procedure, not COVID related). Her K teacher also said this would be helpful and said she would advocate for DD being with at least some of those girls. But right now we don't even know a) if we are doing a hybrid model; b) what schedule it would be (am/pm; 2 days; 1 week on/off were all floated in a recent survey) so class assignments and cohort assignments seem way off.

Elizamom - I have the same concerns re paying a lot of money for a variation on virtual school. And I am not sure if a private school's virtual set up could be all that much better to be worth $16k, since so many of the things my kids missed just can't be replicated online, no matter how hard anyone tries.

[gatorsmom]

We are Catholic and I attended Catholic schools my whole life. Our kids are in a non-parochial a Catholic school right now. Before this school, they attended a parochial school. In my experience, Catholic schools vary as widely as public schools in all aspects. One thing you might have better luck with at a private school (any private, not just Catholic) is their responsiveness to your needs. I’ve read here and experienced myself with 2 kids with special needs, that waiting for public school help can take much longer. Although they didn’t have professionals on staff, our private schools would meet with us immediately when we got our own diagnosis and would listen and implement the suggestions of our doctors right away. It took us longer to get an appointment to see a private professional than it did for the school to implement their suggestions. In most cases, they’d started doing things different for my kids the same week we met with the school following the doctor appointment. In my opinion flexibility is one of the major and aadvantages of a private school.

Whatever school you are interested in, ask them lots of questions. Number of kids in each class, how they will handle more lockdowns, how they will handle positive cases in kids and teachers, what will their virtual school look like, how accessible will the teachers be, what safety precautions are they taking in class to prevent their school being shut down, how do they plan to grade if there are lockdowns, will they have any extracurriculars and what will that look like, what curriculum do they use for math and science, will they do testing on your kids and provide remedial work to make sure your kids don’t experience a gap in the different schools’ curriculums, etc. I’d also ask how much religious instruction is expected, what percentage of non-Catholic students they have, how often do they attend mass, what other devotional activities are all students expected to participate in, how closely do they adhere to the magisterium of the Catholic Church. The more conservative schools (in other words, the active Pro-life, anti-contraception) will have a strong response to that question. Hth

[lizzywednesday]

Special education services aren’t always as strong of available at private schools should your kids qualify. Just something to consider. ...

There's a state supreme court ruling here in NJ (https://www.inquirer.com/philly/news/20160402_Federal_judge__religious_schools_not_requ ired_to_serve_students_with_diabilities.html) that can be used to exempt religious schools from providing accommodations for learning disabilities and, in fact, can allow them to refuse admission to those students.

OP, if you have children who receive special education services as determined by an IEP, I would want to be sure that your state does not have any similar cases pending or considers the linked ruling from 2016 a precedent.

[elizamom]

Elizamom - I have the same concerns re paying a lot of money for a variation on virtual school. And I am not sure if a private school's virtual set up could be all that much better to be worth $16k, since so many of the things my kids missed just can't be replicated online, no matter how hard anyone tries.

For us after some time, we realized we didn’t even really care much if the private school’s virtual setup would be better than our public school virtual setup. If we were paying for a private school, it would be for the in-person smaller setting (Covid safety) and the in-person social interaction with teachers and peers. (Granted, I think there are many more benefits with private school, but those were our current motives.)

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I don't think I'd switch. My understanding is the biggest reason you're really set on in person school is because of the awful impact it's had on your son, and your desire for him to have socialization. (and to be clear, I totally understand this and think it's a very reasonable position) It sounds like you think the public schools will open with a hybrid model, so your kids will get some time in school/socialization. I don't think the additional couple days of school would be worth the move to a totally new school, which can be really tough. I also think that in this world of social distancing, it will be even harder to be the new kid and build new friend groups. Families are getting more insular lately -- will it be easier to find friends to get together with at your current school, where people know you, or at a new school? It also sounds like this school is smaller, and that your kids thrive on extracurricular activities -- while I realize all schools are limited on that right now, if things improve do you want him to have access to the things he had at his public school?

If I misinterpreted your desire for 5 day a week education, and what you're really looking for is primarily the most consistent academic environment, then my answer may be different. If you think this small school will be able to stay open much more than your public schools, then maybe for that reason it's worth it.

However, what you really asked about being a non-Catholic at a Catholic school. I attended Catholic school my entire life. I'm Catholic, but there were always several non-Catholic students in my class. We started the day with a prayer, we had a designated religion class, and we went to Mass twice a month, give or take. All classrooms had a crucifix on the wall somewhere, and we wore uniforms (which now I know many public schools do too). Other than than, it was just like any other school. The curriculum for the non-religion subjects was totally secular. I learned science just like anywhere else. Even in the actual religion class, a lot of it focused on history, and on "The Church teaches" vs. "this is the only right way to live".

:yeahthat: i agree with so much of this!! especially the bolded.

I went to Catholic school almost my entire life (except for a few years). I was raised Catholic and so was DH but we are not religious. I personally woudln't be too concerned about the religion aspect, as others said tons of people who are non-religious send their kids to Catholic school. and i think most on here know my views are fairly liberal re: LGBT issues, womens reproductive rights, etc.

I think this is a really good point about making friendships. How are kids really supposed to socialize and make new friends in a school environment with social distancing and all the precautions? To me as a person who is not super outgoing it sounds stressful. Maybe bc my kids are a bit older...(4th and 5th grade) and on the more shy side..i know for a fact neither of my kids would want to switch schools. they have their friend group and even if they miss a year of in-person school they will still have their friend group which they have been friends with since Kinder and they sometimes chat over text. also, i'm friends with some of the parents. I think it would be hard for my kids to make new friends in a new school in these Covid times, especially my DD who is super shy and has very few friends she talks to.

What would be my concern is pay $$$ for school (plus uproot your kids to a different school, having to make new friends in new environment, given the covid situation etc) only to have it end up being all online anyway.

and lastly, as other people brought up , my personal experience is that private religious schools often aren't the best for kids with special needs. often times the smaller schools tend to only have one teacher per grade, so if the teacher isn't a good fit for your kid, you are totally SOL. My brother (who had/has ADHD) actually went to public school all his life for this reason - we both started out at the same Catholic school but then my parents quickly realized there was absolutely zero support for kids with ADHD at a private school and public school ended up being way better and had more resources. This has been the experience for many parents i know with kids with autism or ADHD who started out at a religious school. In my case i have my daughter with selective mutism with a 504. unless i had a good friend or family member with kids at the private school and could provide honest, real testimony to what it was like (and some reassurance they would support a 504), i would be hesitant to switch to a private school knowing that there's a good chance there may not be the adequate resources to help.

eta: i recently saw a FB post of someone who switched all 4 of her kids to a private school so they could do full in-person, so you're not the only one to consider it. but honestly, unless switching was something you had been thinking of doing already (e.g. for the curriculum at the particular school, for better support for one kid's needs, or for smaller class sizes, or for diversity, to remove a kid from a bullying situation etc) , i personally wouldn't switch at the mere chance of getting more in-person schooling for this one school year.