great article re: handling bullying in kids, anti-Asian racism

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I know there have been sometimes threads here addressing how to handle racism with their kids, teaching racism is wrong, etc. I came across this which is apparently's Slate's parenting advice column and i thought it was one of the best, most-well written article I have ever read on this topic. I figured I would share. I want to pin this on Pinterest and share it everywhere.

https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/03/anti-asian-bullying-punishment-care-and-feeding.html

I have been seeing numerous articles about the rise of anti-Asian racism since the pandemic and I figured it is a timely article. Even for those whose kids don't display these behaviors, it is still a good topic of discussion i think. In our house we must have some discussion re: race/gender on a daily basis. It's hard not to, given the news of the past year.

The author makes the excellent point that I have also observed - i've seen too many "well-meaning" parents are upset when their kid engages in bullying or does something racist, and want to "punish" the kid severely and distance themselves from it-- but then never do much in terms of dialogue and having ongoing discussion on why its wrong, and understanding its effect on people. As many have said, it's not enough just to "not be racist", must be anti-racist.

[keh602]

That IS a really good article. Thank you so much for sharing. I will be passing it along, as well as starting more in-depth conversations with my kids.

[twowhat?]

YES THIS.

It is not enough to "model" the absence of racist behavior. It is not enough.

You have to have the uncomfortable conversation with your kids, and you have to do it early and often. When my kids come home and say some guy driving by yelled a cuss word at their classmate while walking to school, we immediately had a conversation about why that classmate was targeted. Was he black? Yes. Was the man calling himself a "f-ing black kid" white? Yes. Is this wrong? Hell yes.

"Teaching" kids to be colorblind is the wrong approach. We must teach kids to SEE color and to SEE that it impacts how some people are treated. We talk openly and freely about whether a friend is Black, or Indian, or Asian, or White, and we use those words. We talk about the challenges they may be facing due to skin color. We talk about what is racist behavior. We talk about gathering the courage to say something if they witness racist behavior. We even talk about how black dogs are less likely to be adopted, as an example of how human behavior is influenced by generalizations.

Teach your kids to see the color.

[twowhat?]

Ugh duplicate again! Sorry.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

YES THIS.

It is not enough to "model" the absence of racist behavior. It is not enough.

You have to have the uncomfortable conversation with your kids, and you have to do it early and often. When my kids come home and say some guy driving by yelled a cuss word at their classmate while walking to school, we immediately had a conversation about why that classmate was targeted. Was he black? Yes. Was the man calling himself a "f-ing black kid" white? Yes. Is this wrong? Hell yes.

"Teaching" kids to be colorblind is the wrong approach. We must teach kids to SEE color and to SEE that it impacts how some people are treated. We talk openly and freely about whether a friend is Black, or Indian, or Asian, or White, and we use those words. We talk about the challenges they may be facing due to skin color. We talk about what is racist behavior. We talk about gathering the courage to say something if they witness racist behavior. We even talk about how black dogs are less likely to be adopted, as an example of how human behavior is influenced by generalizations.

Teach your kids to see the color.
First off - so sorry your kids' friend had to experience that. that is horrible. a grown adult in a car yelling at a child...seriously, if that is not hate, i don't know what is.

And i totally agree.
i really do tire of the whole "i teach my kids to not see color" -UGH. i saw a lot of that last summer after George Floyd's murder. Lots of white women posting messages about how "i don't see color. i will always teach my kids to love all people regardless of color. we just need to see each other as human beings." and lots of likes, love bombing and pats on the back for being so accepting. um, sure Karen, you're a real revolutionary humanitarian for putting that nugget out there, in 2020 (insert eyeroll emoji)

it's sad, but i've always felt that to end racism, it's not rocket science... enough people just need to *care*. care enough to try to put themselves in someone else's shoes, to listen to people and the trauma they have experienced, to talk to their kids about what the real problem is, and how to dismantle biased systems...... vs. trying to deny its existence, or always talking in self-serving, meaningless platitudes. When i keep seeing these same things pop up all the time, it's incredibly exhausting. The author of this article really nailed the core of the issue.