Would you be ok with this?

[MSWR0319]

MIL wants to come visit us next month once DH and I are fully vaccinated. She is fully vaccinated. I think she's being pretty careful about going places, gathering with people, etc. I know the CDC says you can gather with one family who isn't vaccinated, but I am feeling very uncomfortable about having her stay with us because the kids are not vaccinated. Maybe it's just because we've had no one in our house for a year. Would you be comfortable with the situation?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Yes, I’d be ok with it.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=87652)

[KpbS]

Yes, with all the adults vaccinated as long as she isn’t immune compromised, I’d be glad to have her visit.

[AnnieW625]

Yes I would be okay with that. It is probably more that you haven’t had a visitor in a year.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[georgiegirl]

Do you want MIL to visit? If so, I’d be fine with it. If not, I’d say it’s too risky. [emoji6]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[jgenie]

Do you want MIL to visit? If so, I’d be fine with it. If not, I’d say it’s too risky. [emoji6]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

:ROTFLMAO:

OP - We live away from family and the thought of having overnight visitors makes me uneasy because my kids haven’t been vaccinated. I think if we have overnight visitors at some point this summer. I plan to have everyone mask inside plus run air purifiers.

[newnana]

The other thing for me is how she's getting there. Flight? No. Driving distance, no hotel stays? Maybe.

My parents and ILs are saying they are being safe and how bored they are, but they are all eating in restaurants at least weekly and going to casinos and having friends inside the house for visits unmasked all the time, so we have very different definitions of careful. My family? No. Yours? Maybe.

[smilequeen]

Yes. Based on the current CDC guidelines I’d be fine with that. Unless you have a high risk child. I also agree that if you just don’t want her there say it’s too risky ;).

[hwin708]

The CDC has been getting a fair bit of criticism for being too cautious with their guidelines on this. All evidence is pointing to the vaccines not just preventing the disease but also dramatically lowering the rate of transmission.

But even if you prefer to stick with the CDC's overly cautious guidelines, they still say very clearly that vaccinated adults can visit with unvaccinated healthy children. Remember, the main risk here would be to the children getting the virus from your MIL. If she has been primarily distancing, plus she is vaccinated, her chance of spreading the virus to your children is very low.

Here (https://www.cnn.com/2021/03/10/health/after-covid-vaccine-cdc-guidelines-wellness/index.html) is the latest CDC advice on this exact topic:

The CDC provides very good guidance here that should be a relief to a lot of grandparents. They say that visits are fine for vaccinated people with unvaccinated people from a single household, as long as the unvaccinated people are at low-risk for severe Covid-19.
Let's say that both grandparents are vaccinated. They're visiting a so-called "mixed" household where only one parent is vaccinated and none of the children are. If all unvaccinated people in the household are generally healthy, that visit can happen -- indoors, without masks or distancing, with the grandparents free to hug their family.
This becomes trickier if someone in the house is at higher risk for severe Covid-19. This is where there is a lot of nuance and complexity. What if a parent, for example, has asthma and high blood pressure, or a child is immunocompromised? We know the grandparents are well-protected and probably have a substantially reduced risk of carrying coronavirus. I'd say that the safest thing is for the grandparents to reduce their other risks prior to seeing the family. For example, they shouldn't see other unvaccinated people in the 10 days preceding.

[PZMommy]

I would not. My 9 yr old is high risk, and I know my mom is not being careful. They eat inside restaurants regularly, go to church, visit friends indoors, and fly places for non essential travel. She would have to fly here to visit us. She is mad we won’t let her come, but we have been extremely careful for a year and we aren’t going to blow it now!

[bcafe]

Of course. All adults are vaccinated.

[candaceb]

I was all ready to let loose as my mom and her boyfriend are now fully vaccinated. But then my mom's friend who got vax'd at the same time and place as she did tested positive for COVID this week. She got it from her daughter and son-in-law, who had been really careful the whole time - even keeping their kids home when their school went hybrid. The son-in-law had a meeting for work where everyone was masked but in the same room for 4 hours, and they think that's where he got it. He is hospitalized with pneumonia currently. We were supposed to go to my mom's boyfriend's cottage for spring break, but now I'm not so sure. DH and I will get our first shots this weekend. AAGH. I think we just have to hang in there a little while longer, unfortunately.

[twowhat?]

It depends (haha). How careful is your MIL REALLY? I see so many people get their vaccine and immediately feel like they have the freedom to do whatever they want whenever they want and I wouldn't be ok with that.

Yes, there's a small risk that she could transmit the virus. We don't know exactly how small that risk is, only that it's "small". Good points above on how she's getting to your house.

If your kids have risk factors I'd be hesitating too, unless you KNOW your MIL has been careful.

If it were me, if I KNEW that my MIL was being careful (masking, washing hands, limiting unnecessary outings), then I think I'd be ok with it. But I am thinking of my OWN MIL who only goes to the grocery store with a mask on, and she went into a Hallmark store one time before the holidays to buy gift bags. That's it - she has been nowhere else other than to get her 2 shots.

And how old your kids are might color my decision too...older kids close to getting vaccinated? I wouldn't want to blow it now. Younger kids where it could be another whole year to be vaccinated? It's probably better that they go ahead and see grandma (if she's being careful! LOL!)

eta: I am definitely on the far side of the spectrum in terms of wanting to be careful and reduce risk. Plenty of people are fine with your scenario, and at this point, with current CDC guidance, it is 100% OK to be fine with your scenario!

[Liziz]

We've chosen to allow that and have visits planned with both sets of grandparents over the next few months (grandparents and DH and I are all fully vaccinated). HOWEVER - my kids are very young and healthy, and both sets of grandparents have made really safe choices throughout the pandemic and continue to be very cautious even after vaccination (no eating indoors at restaurants, avoiding large gatherings, wearing face coverings inside buildings, etc.) so the combination makes us okay with it.

I think you're 100% within your right to say "no" to indoor visits and to continue the way you've been behaving until your children are vaccinated, though! It's totally comfort level and your own family's risk factor. I think we're entering a difficult time for parents of young immuno-compromised children/children with risk factors -- with things loosening so much and no ability for the young ones to be vaccinated yet.

[Liziz]

We've chosen to allow that and have visits planned with both sets of grandparents over the next few months (grandparents and DH and I are all fully vaccinated). HOWEVER - my kids are very young and healthy, and both sets of grandparents have made really safe choices throughout the pandemic and continue to be very cautious even after vaccination (no eating indoors at restaurants, avoiding large gatherings, wearing face coverings inside buildings, etc.) so the combination makes us okay with it.

I think you're 100% within your right to say "no" to indoor visits and to continue the way you've been behaving until your children are vaccinated, though! It's totally comfort level and your own family's risk factor. I think we're entering a difficult time for parents of young immuno-compromised children/children with risk factors -- with things loosening so much and no ability for the young ones to be vaccinated yet.

[MSWR0319]

Do you want MIL to visit? If so, I’d be fine with it. If not, I’d say it’s too risky. [emoji6]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Not gonna lie....this is probably part of it too. I'm struggling to imagine my MIL in my house, with two kids who are online learning, plus DH who is working from home for a week. NO THANK YOU. If she would come for just a couple of days, I would probably feel a bit better.


It depends (haha). How careful is your MIL REALLY? I see so many people get their vaccine and immediately feel like they have the freedom to do whatever they want whenever they want and I wouldn't be ok with that.

Yes, there's a small risk that she could transmit the virus. We don't know exactly how small that risk is, only that it's "small". Good points above on how she's getting to your house.

If your kids have risk factors I'd be hesitating too, unless you KNOW your MIL has been careful.

If it were me, if I KNEW that my MIL was being careful (masking, washing hands, limiting unnecessary outings), then I think I'd be ok with it. But I am thinking of my OWN MIL who only goes to the grocery store with a mask on, and she went into a Hallmark store one time before the holidays to buy gift bags. That's it - she has been nowhere else other than to get her 2 shots.

And how old your kids are might color my decision too...older kids close to getting vaccinated? I wouldn't want to blow it now. Younger kids where it could be another whole year to be vaccinated? It's probably better that they go ahead and see grandma (if she's being careful! LOL!)

eta: I am definitely on the far side of the spectrum in terms of wanting to be careful and reduce risk. Plenty of people are fine with your scenario, and at this point, with current CDC guidance, it is 100% OK to be fine with your scenario!

Thank you! DS is 12. So we're close with him. And both kids have asthma which makes me a bit more concerned than if they had no underlying illnesses. I do believe she's being careful but will have to investigate more if we get closer and she does decide to come. She said if variants start causing an uprise she won't come. She has COPD and I don't think she's left the house much other than to pick up groceries. I know she's gotten her hair cut but waits until the shop is closed for the day and then her stylist lets her in so it's just the two of them masked. She would be driving and it's about 3 hours, so risk is minimal there. I was going to suggest that DH go visit her once he was fully vaccinated but they started talking about it on the phone the other night before I could suggest that and he sees nothing wrong with her coming. He also is experiencing covid fatigue and is ready to let loose, which won't be happening ;)

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I'd be totally good with it and would look forward to it! In my case, because i like my MIL and know she is super careful and isn't going out to eat and socializing with tons of other people.


in my case though, my MIL is the highest risk of out of anyone (age, leukemia, rheumatoid arthitis, past ICU stay, amongst other things), so my concern would be mostly flipped. My kids (same age as your DS, 10 and 11) are not high risk - though we have been doing virtual schooling the entire time.

My DH will be fully vaxed by end of March, and hoping once i get the vax (hopefully April), we can travel to see the ILs in May once school is out. Cannot wait. We have not seen anyone for a year now - no restaurants or going out to eat. It's frustrating bc so many others here are totally doing whatever.

[basil]

In terms of COVID safety, absolutely.
Would I let my MIL spend a week at my house? Not in a million years. I’d rather get COVID!

[Philly Mom]

I’d be ok with it too Covidwise. I am actually taking my kids to see my parents for a week. My parents and I are all fully vaccinated.

I would be ok with my in laws too but because I like them, my kids love them, and the separation has been hard. In the past, they came to stay for three weeks at a time.

But if my in laws made me nuts, I would find issues with it.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=87652)

[dogmom]

Yes, although I understand it feels wrong. The concern is she might give it to your kids and they get sick, however they are low risk for potential complications given their ages. (Unless there are health conditions.) We can say whether the vaccine prevents spread, but it does prevent severe disease. So I think this is exactly the kind of situation the CDC is giving a green light to.

[Kestrel]

Honestly, it only matters if you, OP, are ok with it. One thing that Covid has shown us is that everyone has a different level of comfort and risk. There are plenty of people here that would say of course, plenty that would say maybe, and some that would say no.

I think you three adults involved need to discuss between yourselves. It is your thoughts that matter, after all. Hopefully we've given you some things to discuss.

[JustMe]

Agree with what Kestrel wrote. I also wanted to voice that I *would* be uncomfortable with the situation you describe due to Covid and my child (teen with asthma and belonging to other risks groups) not being vaccinated. If and when they are clearly able to tell us that vaccinated people do not transmit the disease, at that point I would be comfortable. OP, not saying that b/c I need anyone to agree with me (or not), but if you do not feel you want to take the risk, that is valid. If you really are not worried, then that is valid as well.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

In terms of COVID safety, absolutely.
Would I let my MIL spend a week at my house? Not in a million years. I’d rather get COVID!

LOL - this made me laugh!!:rotflmao: i recall your past posts about your MIL.

[PunkyBoo]

In terms of COVID safety, absolutely.
Would I let my MIL spend a week at my house? Not in a million years. I’d rather get COVID!I have to say, while yes this is hilarious, current realities make the covid question almost irrelevant. OP said they will be working at home and kids online learning during the time MIL is at their house. That sounds like hell to me. I've been working at home with both kids learning at home, the thought of ANYONE else being there with us sounds like a disaster. Even someone whose company I love. So, OP, covid risk or not, I'd say NO.

Sent from my Pixel 3a XL using Tapatalk

[Liziz]

Not gonna lie....this is probably part of it too. I'm struggling to imagine my MIL in my house, with two kids who are online learning, plus DH who is working from home for a week. NO THANK YOU. If she would come for just a couple of days, I would probably feel a bit better.


Oh wait, whoa. I change my answer. I would NOT be okay with people staying at my house if we were doing online learning or there was anyone working from home! That's a hard no, now. I would say that I'd be okay with a weekend visit and nothing more until kids are out of school. If DH is the only one working from home and he's okay with his mom coming, then I wouldn't stress about that part of it once the kids are out of school. If she is only 3 hours away, it's not like it's such a long trip that she needs to stay a week to justify the trip.