Am I being unreasonable?

[hbridge]

We live in a "mask required" state. On Saturday, I went to pick up lunch from a local establishment. It was busy for the very small place that it is.

The woman working the register did not have mask on or anywhere on her person. She wasn't wearing it wrong, it just wasn't there. So I just messaged the establishment to let them know.

This is the response I got back (edited for establishment info.)

" we are sorry you are disappointed in that matter. That staff member has medical issues that prevents her from wearing a mask. That is why we have the plastic and plexi glass up. We are happy to do curbside for you if that would make you more comfortable. The health and safety of our customer and employees are at the utmost importance to us. Let us know if there is anything we can help you with. "

My thought is to boycott until this is all over. My reaction is "Nope, no way..." That is a cop out. However, we also live in the boonies without many option close by!

UGH...

[gymnbomb]

I think there are a lot of people who could safely wear a mask either think or claim they cannot. I know there really are some. But the others ruin it for them. If I liked the restaurant I would do curbside pickup.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I wouldn't love it but I also wouldn't boycott them. They installed plexiglass so that means that they understand concerns- and plexiglass is far more useful than a thin cloth mask. I would just do curbside in the future but really not be turned off. Their response wasn't like some I have seen from the businesses here that don't believe in masks (or other safety precautions). They basically say "too bad, we don't need you anyway." So, I put a lot of weight into replies I get. While I doubt they really can't wear a mask, I'm not going to get too bothered by that excuse.

[mmsmom]

I don’t think you are being unreasonable and I would just do curbside in the future. I also think that the medical excuse is BS for most. She could also wear a face shield if she can’t wear a mask. I also think the business should not have her in a customer facing role if she can’t wear a mask. I guess there are some discrimination issues to consider but they have to know it will be an issue for many.

[gamma]

A face shield would at least provide some protection and show others that she is trying to comply. They will definitely lose some customers.

[mikala]

Was the plastic/plexiglass sufficient to cover the person? Was she in a role that would have her walking back and forth out of the little plexiglass bubble?

At this point in the pandemic I generally don't buy the "person can't wear mask" line. With the wide availability of disposables most everyone can find a breathable mask, and anyone who can't breathe through a disposable is probably at high risk for Covid complications. I recognize that there are some emotional/mental conditions that make it challenging but I've seen a large number of special needs kiddos and preschoolers adapt to masks just fine a year in.

I'd skip over them for awhile in favor of other local restaurants taking it more seriously because we have lots of options in our area.

[hbridge]

Thanks all, I had honestly expected something like "she is now fully vaccinated", "I will make sure that masking is universal, thank you for telling me". I just cannot imagine why this is allowed. The plexiglass was not surrounding her and she did not stay behind it. We are definitely not going back, even with curbside pickup (it's really not that kind of place). There are not a lot of other options in the local area. ARGH!
Can this just be over already?

[bisous]

I probably wouldn't visit again. I don't know the right way to handle that. I feel a good deal of sympathy for struggling business and also for people with disability that cannot wear masks (though as others noted above I'm discovering less and less legitimate reasons for this!) And as other mentioned upthread, political issues surrounding masking automatically make me suspicious about this "excuse".

I feel like what you describe, with the employee not staying behind the plexi, would make me nervous and I would probably not visit the locale. I also think that a part of an ethical response would be to note that sympathetically in response to the company. Wish them the best but let them know that with the current compliance you won't be able to visit the establishment.

Incidentally, there is a lady at Costco that works in Customer Service that does not wear mask. She does wear a face shield. It seems a little strange--all employees in my area are always masked--but when I consider that she works at Costco and they are very strict about masking, I assume that she has an issue that prevents her from wearing a mask. The use of the face shield, her work in the customer service area (fully plexi with openings) makes me think that this is a good way to accommodate an employee with a condition that doesn't allow for masking.

We did have a Grubhub drop off the other day by an employee not wearing a mask because "he had been vaccinated". I have friends of friends that refuse to wear masks because they have had COVID. There is a lot of misunderstanding out there. It is hard!

[georgiegirl]

Was the plastic/plexiglass sufficient to cover the person? Was she in a role that would have her walking back and forth out of the little plexiglass bubble?

At this point in the pandemic I generally don't buy the "person can't wear mask" line. With the wide availability of disposables most everyone can find a breathable mask, and anyone who can't breathe through a disposable is probably at high risk for Covid complications. I recognize that there are some emotional/mental conditions that make it challenging but I've seen a large number of special needs kiddos and preschoolers adapt to masks just fine a year in.

I'd skip over them for awhile in favor of other local restaurants taking it more seriously because we have lots of options in our area.

I agree with this. I’m in the 99.9% of people should be able to correctly wear a mask at this point. And anyone who can’t, should wear a face shield. I’d be pissed at their response. A small piece of Plexiglas isn’t that helpful if she’s walking around it.


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[klwa]

I have a favorite pizza place. For most of the pandemic, they had curbside pickup, so I'd go maybe once a month or every two months. I went twice since they started requiring that you pick up inside instead. Both times, the staff either wasn't wearing masks or wasn't wearing them properly and customers were wandering from one area to another unmasked. The first time I thought it was a fluke (person at the register was wearing a mask but someone not the guy in the back and 1 person just wandered to the bathroom). When I went in the second time and it was even worse, I said, nope. Not going back until all this is over.

[newnana]

I said, nope. Not going back until all this is over.

This is us. We live in an area with 2 restaurants open past 2 pm. No delivery. Mask compliance hit or miss. I'm sick of cooking, but it's better than risking getting sick. We have not been this good for this long to risk it now. It sucks.

[Liziz]

You are not being unreasonable. I'm pretty sick of the "medical excuse" at this point (as it just doesn't seem like there are that many legit issues/so many people are claiming it inappropriately), but even if it was legit, she should have had on a face shield and not been put front and center in front of customers.

That being said, it doesn't seem like the business is blatantly flaunting safety standards, either. If all other employees are masked, they are adhering to social distancing rules, etc. -- then I would be inclined to continue doing pickup from there (though maybe choosing curbside for less potential contact). I have seen businesses around here struggle to both follow all the rules and also support their employees. While I personally doubt the medical excuse thing, if the employee is pushing it hard, it may be difficult for a small business owner who is trying to be an understanding and supportive employer. Now -- if other employees are also not wearing masks/wearing masks incorrectly, and the business seems to not really care about following the rules, then that's a different story and I'd happily boycott.

[twowhat?]

I live in TX, so a state with a recent removal of the mask requirement. It's incredibly annoying and frustrating. DH and I are fully vaccinated so we are "safer" but we wear masks religiously in public, just as we always have; when I pick up restaurant takeout, I wear a KN95 that fits well to my face. Restaurants here have no capacity limits now and can be crowded. I cannot trust others around me to do the right thing, so I wear the most protective mask that I can to protect myself (and therefore our kids).

Where it REALLY irritates me is when it comes to our kids. Kids aren't vaccinated yet. And with this loosey-goosey environment of some people wearing masks and others refusing to wear a mask and going about life as if it were normal, I just don't feel like I can take my kids out. And it sucks for them.

I could get them to wear their KN95s though but they've really just continued staying home except for short errands when we know it won't be crowded or they can wait outside. No in-dining restaurants for us. No planes for us.

If you like the restaurant, I'd do curbside since they offer it, or go inside to pick up with a well-fitting mask on yourself.

And OMG here there's a dog grooming business here who is CHARGING CUSTOMERS $5 a pop to pick up a pet at the curb, masked, and bring the pet into the establishment for grooming. I can't even believe it. You have to pay someone $5 to put a mask on and bring your pet inside, where they are almost certainly unmasked. RIDICULOUS.

[bisous]

You are not being unreasonable. I'm pretty sick of the "medical excuse" at this point (as it just doesn't seem like there are that many legit issues/so many people are claiming it inappropriately), but even if it was legit, she should have had on a face shield and not been put front and center in front of customers.

That being said, it doesn't seem like the business is blatantly flaunting safety standards, either. If all other employees are masked, they are adhering to social distancing rules, etc. -- then I would be inclined to continue doing pickup from there (though maybe choosing curbside for less potential contact). I have seen businesses around here struggle to both follow all the rules and also support their employees. While I personally doubt the medical excuse thing, if the employee is pushing it hard, it may be difficult for a small business owner who is trying to be an understanding and supportive employer. Now -- if other employees are also not wearing masks/wearing masks incorrectly, and the business seems to not really care about following the rules, then that's a different story and I'd happily boycott.

This is well reasoned. I agree with this.

[SnuggleBuggles]

You are not being unreasonable. I'm pretty sick of the "medical excuse" at this point (as it just doesn't seem like there are that many legit issues/so many people are claiming it inappropriately), but even if it was legit, she should have had on a face shield and not been put front and center in front of customers.

That being said, it doesn't seem like the business is blatantly flaunting safety standards, either. If all other employees are masked, they are adhering to social distancing rules, etc. -- then I would be inclined to continue doing pickup from there (though maybe choosing curbside for less potential contact). I have seen businesses around here struggle to both follow all the rules and also support their employees. While I personally doubt the medical excuse thing, if the employee is pushing it hard, it may be difficult for a small business owner who is trying to be an understanding and supportive employer. Now -- if other employees are also not wearing masks/wearing masks incorrectly, and the business seems to not really care about following the rules, then that's a different story and I'd happily boycott.

That's what I was trying to say but you said it much better. :)

[Kindra178]

I wouldn't love it but I also wouldn't boycott them. They installed plexiglass so that means that they understand concerns- and plexiglass is far more useful than a thin cloth mask. I would just do curbside in the future but really not be turned off. Their response wasn't like some I have seen from the businesses here that don't believe in masks (or other safety precautions). They basically say "too bad, we don't need you anyway." So, I put a lot of weight into replies I get. While I doubt they really can't wear a mask, I'm not going to get too bothered by that excuse.

How does plexiglass help at all? The virus is airborne?

OP, I had a similar experience last summer. Ate breakfast outside, waitress was not masked. I requested she put a mask on. Meanwhile, she was sitting at another outside table with police officers who were eating breakfast . . . I messaged the restaurant and was told that she had health issues and couldn't wear a mask. I now know that the waitress is the daughter of of owners. She probably responded on behalf of herself to my message. I haven't been back.

That restaurant refused to close during our winter shutdown. I get it, it's been a horrible year for restaurants.

[SnuggleBuggles]

How does plexiglass help at all? The virus is airborne?

.
Fair enough but OP didn't really describe the set up so I had one idea in my head of what it could be like and it didn't really worry me. I was thinking like a ticket kiosk, station at the post office... It could be set up entirely differently. I just picked a scenario and replied based on that.
If I were in and out quick to get my order I just am not going to stress about a very quick interaction while someone is behind plexi. I've gotten take out and found workers unmasked. I have my good mask on and just hustled out. I pre-pay before I get there and transactions take less than a minute. I just don't worry that much about my risk of exposure then but everyone has different comfort levels.

[bisous]

How does plexiglass help at all? The virus is airborne?

OP, I had a similar experience last summer. Ate breakfast outside, waitress was not masked. I requested she put a mask on. Meanwhile, she was sitting at another outside table with police officers who were eating breakfast . . . I messaged the restaurant and was told that she had health issues and couldn't wear a mask. I now know that the waitress is the daughter of of owners. She probably responded on behalf of herself to my message. I haven't been back.

That restaurant refused to close during our winter shutdown. I get it, it's been a horrible year for restaurants.

I know this is beside the point but I think plexi can limit spread of the virus. TWIV did an interesting discussion of "airborne" vs. respiratory droplets and they concluded that most of the virus molecules are still in respiratory droplets vs airborne particles and further describes that the difference between the two is not concrete. I think a surround of plexi can reduce the spread of respiratory droplets and can play a role in keeping people safe. But again this is an aside because masks are still really important!

[ChicagoNDMom]

My advice: just don’t patronize this establishment moving forward. Spend your money where you feel comfortable. There is a local restaurant that everyone loved (pre-pandemic) but I didn’t patronize because it was not clean (esp bathrooms). I put your concern in this same category.

Don’t waste any more time/life energy on it, just choose to go elsewhere.

[Corie]

Can I ask a really stupid question?

When someone says that they can't wear a mask for medical reasons, what exactly are those reasons?

[sf333]

I was in a similar situation - I ordered takeout from a local restaurant and when I arrived, nobody was masked, no plexiglass. I tried again a second time and it was the same.

Our state has mandated masks and the AG’s office has a posted email address to report businesses that are not complying. So I reported them (knowing that the AG’s office gives businesses several warnings before imposing fines). Sure enough, a month or so later, we ordered again and this time, they were all wearing masks.

I want to support local businesses because I know how tough this past year has been on them but I want to do so safely.

[jgenie]

We visited a new restaurant for takeout today. I called in our order and walked in to pick it up a few minutes later. The OWNER was sitting at a table with his mask under his chin. I paid for my order and walked out. We won’t be returning. I felt for the workers because they are the people at risk. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

[jgenie]

We visited a new restaurant for takeout today. I called in our order and walked in to pick it up a few minutes later. The OWNER was sitting at a table with his mask under his chin. I paid for my order and walked out. We won’t be returning. I felt for the workers because they are the people at risk. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

[ang79]

I ran into a local gas station to buy milk the other day. The girl at the check out had no mask, the employee beside her did. Half of the customers did not have masks either (even though I live in a state with a public mask mandate). Its small town ignorance. I'll avoid that particular store from now on. Usually the only places I go are Target, Aldi, and Sam's Club and all employees are wearing masks and most customers are, so I'll just keep my shopping to places that I feel are trying to both protect their employees and their customers.

[mom2binsd]

Can I ask a really stupid question?

When someone says that they can't wear a mask for medical reasons, what exactly are those reasons?I don't know, but I wish I could carry a pic of one of my patients who is 92, wears oxygen, and a mask and was in the bike at work today (in the therapy gym) he for 20 min. So if you can stand at a job or walking around a store you can wearing a mask! I've heard some say it's because they have anxiety and get claustrophobic, then maybe being out in public during a pandemic isn't a great idea.

I do not buy any of these "medical" reasons.

If you can't wear a mask, order online, there isn't anything you can't get delivered or have somebody pick up for you.

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[gymnbomb]

The only groups I have heard respected medical professionals say should not wear masks are babies/toddlers under 2 years old and people who cannot take them off by themselves. There may be others, but they are few and far between.

The person I go to for laser hair removal (she runs her own business, no other employees) wears a face shield but no mask. It bothers me. I haven’t said anything to her but have debated calling in and reporting her. I have chosen to just wear one of my kf 94 masks and be glad I am only there for a short period of time every 3 months, but it definitely makes me uncomfortable.


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[klwa]

Can I ask a really stupid question?

When someone says that they can't wear a mask for medical reasons, what exactly are those reasons?

So I know a few people who claim medical exemption. Most seem to use "anxiety" as the reason, without giving a better explanation. I hate saying I don't believe that one because I have panic attacks, and my face being covered can be a trigger. I haven't personally had an issue with that since the mask mandate. But, I can't say flat out that that may not be an issue for some. I also have an employee who claims that his doctor gave him an exemption (?) because he proved he couldn't breathe well with a mask on when he got a CPap. Yeah, I got nothing on that one.

Oddly, 90% of the people I know who claim these exemptions are the same ones who post on Facebook that telling people to wear masks is against their constitutional rights. :6:

[hbridge]

I have a good friend whose autistic teen has super sensory issues, especially with the face. The mom was slightly panicked by the mask mandate... it took a little coaxing and some getting used to, but the teen has been fine with wearing a cloth mask. If this person, with documented sensory issues and extreme anxiety can wear a mask at school and when out, I don't buy any of the medical excuses!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Can I ask a really stupid question?

When someone says that they can't wear a mask for medical reasons, what exactly are those reasons?

I keep meaning to look up what they consider except in the U.K. because I’m on a travel forum with people from the UK saying they won’t come to the US if they have to wear a mask and they are except there. Evidently if you have an exemption you wear this special lanyard that lets businesses know you don’t need to wear a mask. And as other U.K. guests then point out, you can buy them off of eBay so there’s very little validity to them even if they started out having some legitimate purpose.


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[ellies mom]

Can I ask a really stupid question?

When someone says that they can't wear a mask for medical reasons, what exactly are those reasons?

I’m a nurse at a plasma donation center so I get to evaluate donor’s medical reasons to determine if they can be exempt from wearing a mask in the center. The few exemptions we’ve given have been for anxiety related reasons. We have three employees with mask exemptions but they have to wear face shields the entire time they are in the building, even on breaks. Two of those are legit, but the third is crap and annoys the rest of us. The super ironic thing is one of our “mask exempt” is horrified that we have employees who are mask exempt. I’m not a big fan of hers.


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[California]

Regarding the plexiglass, our local medical experts are now telling us teachers not to use plexiglass in the classroom. We’re told to think of the airborn virus as being like cigarette smoke- even if you are in another part of a restaurant you can still smell it. On the positive side, they are finding that mask wearing, air purifiers/managing air flow to “exchange” air, and maintaining six feet of distance (despite the recent CDC decision) are effective at preventing transmission.

ETA: Of course, our school sites already spent the money on barriers... it’s been that kind of year!

[dogmom]

I think it’s fair to not go there with personal concerns.
I’m fully vaccinated and would not go there because maybe the customers are safe, but what about the other employees? Do they and their families have a say? Unless everyone on the other side of the plexiglass is fully vaccinated I would not feel like spending my hard earned money there.