newnana
04-17-2021, 03:06 PM
I am depressed. I am exhausted. I need a vacation.
Since the pandemic started, I've been working 60-80 hours a week (salaried, so no OT pay). Work is miserable. Nothing is ever enough, (new)leadership is actively hostile. We've had almost 50% of our department leave since the new leadership took over over a year ago. My tiny team has everyone looking for new jobs because this is not sustainable. For the first time ever, I have doubt about my own abilities because of the tone of every project we're on and the insane workload and the idea that we are responsible for everyone's roles and responsibilities when they used to be divided amongst teams. I'm looking for a new job but am exhausted and there aren't a lot of openings in my area of expertise and I'm not in the right frame of mind to do well in an interview.
DH is immunocompromised and DD is a moody teen; I've been super vigilant about the pandemic and doing all the errand running. Somehow this has translated to all the meal planning, meal prep, meal cleanup, etc. I know you did not just put your dirty dish on TOP of the dishwasher?!! DD is doing 100% remote learning and clearly that is getting to her. She needs some fun.
I've put on way too much weight with stress eating and lack of exercise. I hate the way I feel. It's 20 degrees out, going outside to get some fresh air doesn't sound so great.
DH offers to help but has to be told what to do. I don't want to manage you on top of everything else. Or DH offers to make dinner and it's only things that I will look at and gain weight or he offers, "leave the mess, I'll take care of it and then ends up sick and either forgets or can't leave the bathroom).
This whole week has been building with a whole bunch of work nastiness (that doesn't look like it will improve) and by Friday night I was cooked. I haven't been sleeping well and it's been building and DH knows all of this.
This morning DH asks what's wrong and if I want to talk about it. Then asks what I want to do today, I say that I don't have any ideas but that I definitely don't want to be the one to plan it. So he offers up, " do you want to clean the house?" Um. No. And by the way, I've already unloaded and loaded the dishwasher this morning, dusted the basement, folded the laundry and started washing the sheets and swept the kitchen. How about you sit out the next couple of plays.
I just had to get this all out somewhere and you guys seemed like the best place. Thanks for listening. I'll get through this. These are all first world problems. I have enough to eat, I have a job, we know what's wrong with DH and it's not as scary as it was when we didn't, we have a house and DD is 90% of the time awesome and does great in school with little help. But focusing on any of that is not helping me right now.
Since the pandemic started, I've been working 60-80 hours a week (salaried, so no OT pay). Work is miserable. Nothing is ever enough, (new)leadership is actively hostile. We've had almost 50% of our department leave since the new leadership took over over a year ago. My tiny team has everyone looking for new jobs because this is not sustainable. For the first time ever, I have doubt about my own abilities because of the tone of every project we're on and the insane workload and the idea that we are responsible for everyone's roles and responsibilities when they used to be divided amongst teams. I'm looking for a new job but am exhausted and there aren't a lot of openings in my area of expertise and I'm not in the right frame of mind to do well in an interview.
DH is immunocompromised and DD is a moody teen; I've been super vigilant about the pandemic and doing all the errand running. Somehow this has translated to all the meal planning, meal prep, meal cleanup, etc. I know you did not just put your dirty dish on TOP of the dishwasher?!! DD is doing 100% remote learning and clearly that is getting to her. She needs some fun.
I've put on way too much weight with stress eating and lack of exercise. I hate the way I feel. It's 20 degrees out, going outside to get some fresh air doesn't sound so great.
DH offers to help but has to be told what to do. I don't want to manage you on top of everything else. Or DH offers to make dinner and it's only things that I will look at and gain weight or he offers, "leave the mess, I'll take care of it and then ends up sick and either forgets or can't leave the bathroom).
This whole week has been building with a whole bunch of work nastiness (that doesn't look like it will improve) and by Friday night I was cooked. I haven't been sleeping well and it's been building and DH knows all of this.
This morning DH asks what's wrong and if I want to talk about it. Then asks what I want to do today, I say that I don't have any ideas but that I definitely don't want to be the one to plan it. So he offers up, " do you want to clean the house?" Um. No. And by the way, I've already unloaded and loaded the dishwasher this morning, dusted the basement, folded the laundry and started washing the sheets and swept the kitchen. How about you sit out the next couple of plays.
I just had to get this all out somewhere and you guys seemed like the best place. Thanks for listening. I'll get through this. These are all first world problems. I have enough to eat, I have a job, we know what's wrong with DH and it's not as scary as it was when we didn't, we have a house and DD is 90% of the time awesome and does great in school with little help. But focusing on any of that is not helping me right now.