Defining Wants in a college

[PunkyBoo]

DS1 is having a hard time narrowing down where he might want to apply to college. He has no idea if he wants a big school or medium school (he doesn't want a very small school). He has no idea what it would be like to live anywhere other than home- doesn't know whether he could like or even tolerate snow (we live in southern California). He doesn't mind large classes but wants some research options in undergrad. I've already told him he's not taking a car freshman year regardless of where he goes, and he's going to live in a dorm regardless of where he goes (even if it's one of the many colleges within 20 miles of home). I don't know how to help him figure this stuff out because I was forced to go to my last choice school due to a health issue I was diagnosed with in spring of my junior year, which caused me to eliminate all my other choices I'd been favoring but one (which I visited and didn't like the weather or the campus culture). How do you help your kids figure this stuff out?? We've visited several great schools in the past year and he's liked all of them, so he can't figure out how to discern between them. He's an easy going kid, but we can't just let him apply to every school that has his desired major...

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[KrisM]

I have no advice. DS1 is the same at this point. He's eliminated a few for being too close to home, but that's about it.

At this point, it'll come down to cost and dorms, I think! He does say he wants his own room as part of a suite if possible.

[bisous]

Did you or DH love college? I feel like most kids I know have a feeling or a vibe for a school they've always wanted to attend. I don't know really any IRL that do this wide college search like I see here. If your DS was to follow in your footsteps so to speak, does he have any feelings about it? Either for or against? Like I wouldn't want to go there because it is too (big/small/urban/rural) etc? I guess I'm saying maybe he can rule things OUT easier than rule them in?

[PunkyBoo]

This is response to Bisous:
Yeah he's ruled out DH's and my Alma mater! Partly because it's where we went, partly because the area around it isn't great, partly because of the campus culture, partly because he and I have talked about my experience and I don't think it was a great fit for me... He's definitely not interested in our old school! Other than that, he doesn't know. We've looked at schools with 30,000 students down to about 5,000, and nothing about the size is pushing him one way or the other. If course we've visited schools during covid so few if any students on campus to see if they seem like his "people". He does want some diversity and has ruled out some geographic areas based on that, as well as the socio-political climate of some areas.

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[AnnieW625]

Did he have any likes on your recent college tour?

If he is not going to have a car look for something with some kind of off campus activity. Some commuter colleges though are better than others for this. I went to Sacramento State for two years and while I didn’t live on campus there wasn’t much near the university to do outside of campus vs. San Diego State which also had a pretty decent commuter population but there was stuff to do near the university; I would categorize Long Beach State like that as well. SDSU is a bit of a hike to the nearest grocery store, but seriously almost every freshman (from Orange County) has a car so he will be fine there. If the school doesn’t allow cars on campus for freshman look at public transportation (busses, airport shuttle, train station, etc.) and how the city is set up. Davis, and Chico are two that come to mind that are a nice mix of a medium sized city and college vibe. Irvine, and Fullerton could be that way as well but I don’t know anyone who has lived in those dorms recently. Both strike me commuter schools more than SDSU and Long Beach because of their locations (Irvine=boring suburbia, Fullerton=the edge of suburbia and not close to downtown).

Also for years when I lived in Davis in the early 2000s freshman were not allowed to have cars on campus there; this might have been a whole UC thing.

I don’t think that was much help, but good luck to him.


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[westwoodmom04]

I would look to secondary things like does he want a school with a big football/sports culture, does he care about fraternities sororities, does he want to be in a college town or a bigger city . . .

[Globetrotter]

Both my kids were overwhelmed and stressed so I had to help them figure it out. DD was just the anxious type - though wow, she has changed and gained so much confidence! I think DS is generally indecisive and he also doesn't know what he wants to do but has many interests, so I think it was too overwhelming already as around here everyone he knows seems to know what they want and chooses CS, some other engineering, or business, then covid added an additional layer of stress. He was also was incredibly busy the whole year, which is probably what got him into some of these schools. I know many kids had a relaxed year with covid, but mine didn't slow down one bit.

It is easier if you can narrow it down. For us it came down to geography, either West coast or somewhat close to family on the east coast, near a major airport, potential for double majors, good for undecideds, research opps, politically moderate to liberal location. What's your list? you can look at some of the lists on the other thread to see what matters to you. I had a strong feeling he's a liberal arts type and dd has had a wonderful experience with a slac so we have seen the benefits. In the end he chose a slac that is the best fitwise and has some unique features that suit his unique temperament lol and he just felt more comfortable going to to the virtual sessions and we both had liked it when we visited pre-covid and he felt it was a good fit academically, but he did apply to some big schools (mainly UCs) as he wasn't sure as of the time he was applying and it gave more West coast options. We literally eliminated some schools as they didn't have an activity that he loves- it wasn't a deal breaker for applying, but since he got into great places that had it, that was one way to narrow it down.

There are tons of search engines. I found the fiske guide is pretty good and objective, and it gives a detailed description of the colleges. the rankings may not be 100% spot on, but overall we found the detailed descriptions helpful (and I think fairly accurate) and apparently DS found it helpful. I hear you on the weather and CA kids! DS will be going to a cold place, but I urged him to look south of where our relatives live so it's a bit more moderate than, say, Boston lol It just won't be possible to get a true vibe unless the campus is open and full, so use online tours and videos, etc.. but it is helpful to see the surroundings in person.

I didn't respond to other threads but I saw your posts. If he's a NMSF (he wouldn't be a finalist until the next year- I have done a bunch of research on this, which I'm happy to share if he qualifies) put that in the awards section and they will know he tests well, but they really aren't supposed to use test taking ability if they are test blind.

Bisous, it's true that some kids don't do the extensive search, but nowadays things are so different. Even the CSUs that were once safeties for a good student are now competitive. And forget Cal Poly and UCs.. and needless to say, this year was nuts for those. I do agree that it's not necessary at all to get caught up in the hype- we looked at fit more than other things.

I can talk about this forever so I will shut up for now lol

[PunkyBoo]

Did he have any likes on your recent college tour?

If he is not going to have a car look for something with some kind of off campus activity. Some commuter colleges though are better than others for this. I went to Sacramento State for two years and while I didn’t live on campus there wasn’t much near the university to do outside of campus vs. San Diego State which also had a pretty decent commuter population but there was stuff to do near the university; I would categorize Long Beach State like that as well. SDSU is a bit of a hike to the nearest grocery store, but seriously almost every freshman (from Orange County) has a car so he will be fine there. If the school doesn’t allow cars on campus for freshman look at public transportation (busses, airport shuttle, train station, etc.) and how the city is set up. Davis, and Chico are two that come to mind that are a nice mix of a medium sized city and college vibe. Irvine, and Fullerton could be that way as well but I don’t know anyone who has lived in those dorms recently. Both strike me commuter schools more than SDSU and Long Beach because of their locations (Irvine=boring suburbia, Fullerton=the edge of suburbia and not close to downtown).

Also for years when I lived in Davis in the early 2000s freshman were not allowed to have cars on campus there; this might have been a whole UC thing.

I don’t think that was much help, but good luck to him.


Sent from my iPhone using TapatalkHe said they all seemed nice. He's liked everything we've seen thus far. He does have a bit of bias against perceived "elites" so he's turned off by some of the schools everyone tells him to apply to based on his grades and test scores. He definitely does not want a commuter school, so we're making note of schools that require students to live on campus for 1-2 years, as well as ones that don't let freshman bring cars and those that guarantee housing for at least some of the 4 years.
Unfortunately it's unlikely we'll get to visit any schools out of state before he had to apply. I *think* we've seen all the contenders hrs interested in here in CA.

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[Globetrotter]

most colleges, even the large ones, encourage or even require freshman to live on campus, so a car shouldn't be a must.

[SnuggleBuggles]

While we didn’t tell him he had limits, we implied that we’d prefer he keep a 5 hours from home radius. We live in an area where 5 hours gives you a ton of amazing choices so not really a hardship. Being open to anywhere would have been really overwhelming.
As I’ve said on here before, where ds1 landed still confuses me. It’s like the opposite of what I thought he’d pick. And he didn’t make his decision until the decision deadline so he was still debating some very different schools. He did really well after an initial break in period. Finished on deans list and with a nice group of friends. He will be working more closely in his chosen major next year as an undergraduate learning assistant so I think he’ll be in good shape for research opportunities too.
If you can afford it, just let him cast a big net for applications. Have diversity even if it seems like it wouldn’t be a great fit (close to home, far away, too big, too small, too rural, too urban...). That way he’ll have lots of extra time to research. Once acceptances or rejections come in, that’ll narrow the field. Attend the accepted student events and really ask questions. Things will just start to become more clear.
Knowing that you can transfer eases some stress in deciding. You really can switch if you just don’t nail the fit initially.
FYI- I can’t think of any schools that allow freshmen to have cars anyway so that’s a non issue. And absolutely yes to living on campus. I lived on campus...15 minutes away from home. [emoji6]


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[AnnieW625]

most colleges, even the large ones, encourage or even require freshman to live on campus, so a car shouldn't be a must.

I think that is great that on campus housing is required if you live outside an attendance area; for San Diego State you now have to live on campus if you are south of the 56 freeway (this is about 20 north of the campus). I am not sure how many more CSU or UC schools require that out of area students live on campus.

When we lived 3 miles from Long Beach State I told my kids they could go there but they had to live on campus (although deep down the fact that they were only a 20 minute bus ride from home was just too close....I don’t want them home every weekend!).

As a junior and senior I was active in my college’s residence hall association and we went to a national conference and it was amazing to meet so many students who were seniors like I was who lived in a dorm for all four years; that was a rarity in California then.

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[Green_Tea]

My daughter didn’t really know what she was looking for until she found it, and that happened after she was accepted at quite a few schools. I would recommend that he cast a wide net and apply early action (NOT early decision) to many schools so he can visit places before he commits. EA buys you a lot of time to explore places that are a sure thing. My daughter got her first EA decision before Thanksgiving! She ended up going with a school where she applied RD (because they didn’t offer EA) but she had a much better understanding of her options by the time decision day arrived. In the grand scheme of things application fees are a drop in the bucket and cost less than most visits after you factor in gas, lunch, flights, hotels, etc. - I’d let him apply to many schools he thinks he might like and go from there.

[gatorsmom]

Did you or DH love college? I feel like most kids I know have a feeling or a vibe for a school they've always wanted to attend.

That's interesting. I don't know many like this in real life. In fact, if I think about it, I really only know 1 or 2. One was my niece who was so excited to go to a certain college and then left after one year. It was all she talked about for 2 years in high school. Everyone we know who has graduated in the last few years has had a list of colleges they are considering with pros and cons they are weighing for each.

OP, are there activities that your DS really loves and would continue to like to do? Are there activities he feels confident doing? Like you, I didn't feel like my college was the best fit for me either, probably because there weren't a lot of activities offered that really suited me. DH made friends on the waterski team at Texas A &M and had a blast. He had transferred twice before that (from Texas Tech to UCLA to TAMU) and said he never really felt he fit until TAMU. He did well there and graduated from there.

OP, I'd encourage your DS to do some researching about college clubs. What could he see himself enjoying in college? Are there activities that he is drawn to? I'd think that is one way to narrow down college choices.

What are his friends doing? Does he have interests similar to theirs? When they talk about their college plans, is there anything that they are saying that attracts him too?

He should also look into whether he's looking for a conservative school versus more liberal. If you are religious, that would help narrow down atmospheres where he will feel comfortable too.

[PunkyBoo]

You are all really helping me/us! So thank you!
I just printed out the list of questions that essence posted last week and added some thoughts that are important to know, even if it doesn't ultimately affect his decision (such as how many years they guarantee housing, since some schools ie. UCLA are struggling to provide campus housing and off campus is cost prohibitive.)
He definitely is looking at this from the perspective of finding a place to live for 4+years, knowing that he can for the most part find what he wants out of the academic environment. He definitely wants a more diverse, liberal area with things to do. He does not want a religious school or religious-toned environment.
I've never heard of Early Action so we'll have to look into that. I'm also texting with his cousin who just finished her junior year in pre-med, and transferred from a small east coast school to a very large Midwest school for her soph year. Trying to get a feel for how she decided, what to look for, how hard the transition from So Cal to massive amounts of snow was for her, etc.
I've told DS1 that he WILL live on campus freshman year no matter where he goes. We used to live literally across the street from a great school and I told him then that if he went there, he'd live on campus regardless.
After his last AP test this week, I'll help him put together notes and a spreadsheet to track all this. I agree, it's easier to find what he doesn't want than to nail down what he does want.

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[gatorsmom]

I'm also texting with his cousin who just finished her junior year in pre-med, and transferred from a small east coast school to a very large Midwest school for her soph year. Trying to get a feel for how she decided, what to look for, how hard the transition from So Cal to massive amounts of snow was for her, etc.


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After you speak to the cousin, please let us know what she says. I'm curious too how she changed from a small college out east to a large college in the Midwest. Particularly since she was coming from California! I'd love to know what thought process led her there.

Also, just wanted to say, make sure you look into the difference between Early Action and Early Decision. There is a definite difference.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Other things that influenced ds1:
Campus culture
activities
campus life- is there a lot of school spirit? is it a commuter school where very few people are present and engaged after school hours? interesting things to do on and nearby off campus?

Bisous, do most of the people you know go to BYU? Is that why people know from an early age where they plan to go? There aren't a lot of other religious schools for your faith, are there? With ds1 and his friends none of the kids knew where they were going until senior year. They all applied to a great cross section of schools. But, the school he wound up at is filled with generations of attendees. Like grandparents went, next mom and dad went there now all the kids are going through. These families are intense with their school spirit! I can't imagine picking the same school as my siblings so it's really been strange to have freshman parents that are super knowledgeable on the facebook parent page because their other kids have btdt.

Early decision is binding. Early action is not. Early action gets you an earlier acceptance/rejection. Early decision if you are accepted you are expected to accept your spot.

eta- I bought the Fiske Guide and read almost every page. I flagged some schools for ds1 to consider. I also spent a morning at the book store reading other guides. I might have bought yet another one but it wasn't as useful.

[Moneypenny]

I think one thing that helps is to have DS consider if he thinks/wants college to be "an experience" - does he imagine that college will be the happiest time of his life, make lasting friendships/connections, spend every weekend socializing, etc? Or, is college going to be a transactional experience for him - that is, he's going because he needs to get a degree and education in order to get on with the rest of his life. That can really help inform what he's looking for.

[o_mom]

Or, is college going to be a transactional experience for him - that is, he's going because he needs to get a degree and education in order to get on with the rest of his life.

This really describes how DS1 is viewing college. I never thought of it this way, but it explains a lot of how he is approaching it.

[Moneypenny]

This really describes how DS1 is viewing college. I never thought of it this way, but it explains a lot of how he is approaching it.

I work in higher ed and we're seeing that a really high number of students are looking at college in this way now, which is a change from earlier generations of college students. They want to get in, get out, and get on with life. Many parents are looking for The College Experience for their kids, and it can make for conflict during the family decision making process. I think it helps to at least identify what everyone has in mind when they are talking about college choices - even if you aren't all looking for the same thing, just putting a name on it and understanding where the other person is coming from can help those discussions.

[bisous]

Other things that influenced ds1:
Bisous, do most of the people you know go to BYU? Is that why people know from an early age where they plan to go? There aren't a lot of other religious schools for your faith, are there? With ds1 and his friends none of the kids knew where they were going until senior year. They all applied to a great cross section of schools. But, the school he wound up at is filled with generations of attendees. Like grandparents went, next mom and dad went there now all the kids are going through. These families are intense with their school spirit! I can't imagine picking the same school as my siblings so it's really been strange to have freshman parents that are super knowledgeable on the facebook parent page because their other kids have btdt.



Sorry. This is a bit of an aside. Maybe it is just my particular circumstances and maybe this is changing a little bit in my circle now but for years it has been UCLA, USC, BYU or CC. The kids who were high achievers wanted the local schools (UCLA/USC). BYU has got to be the cheapest private tuition college in the nation. I know when I attended I had a half scholarship and paid $600 per semester for a full load of classes. With a job and $10K from my parents I graduated debt free. I think tuition is now at $2500 a semester and a huge proportion of kids get scholarships (merit based and need based) on top of that. It makes for a very appealing option and so far that's where DS1 and DS2 want to go. It certainly is not for everyone!

[bisous]

I work in higher ed and we're seeing that a really high number of students are looking at college in this way now, which is a change from earlier generations of college students. They want to get in, get out, and get on with life. Many parents are looking for The College Experience for their kids, and it can make for conflict during the family decision making process. I think it helps to at least identify what everyone has in mind when they are talking about college choices - even if you aren't all looking for the same thing, just putting a name on it and understanding where the other person is coming from can help those discussions.

Interesting. I would think the kids are the ones looking for the "experience" and the parents were the practical ones!

[o_mom]

I work in higher ed and we're seeing that a really high number of students are looking at college in this way now, which is a change from earlier generations of college students. They want to get in, get out, and get on with life. Many parents are looking for The College Experience for their kids, and it can make for conflict during the family decision making process. I think it helps to at least identify what everyone has in mind when they are talking about college choices - even if you aren't all looking for the same thing, just putting a name on it and understanding where the other person is coming from can help those discussions.


Interesting. I would think the kids are the ones looking for the "experience" and the parents were the practical ones!

For us, DS1 is just not that social, so the idea of an "experience" is lost on him. His only criteria is that we are not there, lol. It also is partly driven by one of his possible career choices being a field where it really doesn't matter where you go to college - you are just checking a box that yes, you have a degree. In that case, it is more about cost and getting through, which he doesn't need or have the drive to go to a competitive school for a box-checking degree.

[Moneypenny]

Interesting. I would think the kids are the ones looking for the "experience" and the parents were the practical ones!

Oh, there are definitely kids who want Experiential college instead of Transactional college, or something in between. And all of those are equally valid, of course, and thank goodness there are all different kinds of colleges to suit everyone's needs! But, many more kids than you'd think are ready to "be adults" and get done with the school part of their life. I've had more than one kid say to me that their mom or dad keeps talking about how high school/college was the best time in their life, and the kid thinks that's really sad because of how much life you have (hopefully) after college. Like, why do you want the best part to be over when you're only in your 20s?

We've been talking about this in Enrollment Management in terms of how on earth you market your institution to all kinds of students - the trend is shifting away from shining all the spotlights on the sports teams/student organizations/social opportunities and more on how quickly you can graduate, what kinds of internships/career opportunities or integrated master's programs you have, dedicated study space all over campus, etc. It's an interesting shift. But, as the mom of a HS junior, it just really clicked for me that naming the kind of experience you want can help with that overwhelming task of figuring out what's important to you in a college.

[AnnieW625]

I think one thing that helps is to have DS consider if he thinks/wants college to be "an experience" - does he imagine that college will be the happiest time of his life, make lasting friendships/connections, spend every weekend socializing, etc? Or, is college going to be a transactional experience for him - that is, he's going because he needs to get a degree and education in order to get on with the rest of his life. That can really help inform what he's looking for.

Yes I find this interesting as well. Dh looked at college this way as well and went the community college route for a few years (and worked 20-30 hours a week) and then transferred to a state university. He was an engineering major and had a tough time with some of his classes so it took him 8 years to graduate (most engineering takes a minimum of 5-6; he did have one semester where he only took one or two classes as well). He is glad that he did it but he admits that he never saw college as a life changing experience. He was a first generation to graduate from a four year university in his family (my in laws have only AA/AS degrees) so that could’ve been part of it.

My sister on the other hand wasn’t sure what to make of college although she did apply to a few schools and didn’t get in to the one she wanted so she as well went to CC for two years and TBH it was the best thing for her. She graduated from state university in four years and had a gpa just shy of cum laude; my mom wasn’t even sure she would complete community college because she was so uninspired by school in high school. She is now a middle school teacher.

Neither DH or my sister made life long friends from college and DH did join a fraternity but quit before he was a full member because he realized (after a crazy amount of hazing that is now illegal in the Greek system) it wasn’t for him. My sister rushed a sorority as well but didn’t join as she too realized it wasn’t for her. Neither regret their college choices and have made great careers for themselves.


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[gatorsmom]

We've been talking about this in Enrollment Management in terms of how on earth you market your institution to all kinds of students - the trend is shifting away from shining all the spotlights on the sports teams/student organizations/social opportunities and more on how quickly you can graduate, what kinds of internships/career opportunities or integrated master's programs you have, dedicated study space all over campus, etc. It's an interesting shift. But, as the mom of a HS junior, it just really clicked for me that naming the kind of experience you want can help with that overwhelming task of figuring out what's important to you in a college.

This is a really interesting way to look at it. I loved the response that the student gave you- it's kind of depressing to think that college was the best time of life when there is often many more decades of living to do. What kind of college experience they want is not a subject I've directly addressed with DS1 & DS2 but I think I might know how they feel from other things they have said. DS1 wants the best university he can attend without it being too difficult for him (because of his dyslexia and depression) where he can start a good career in order to support a family one day. He'd like to have fun and make friends there but that's not his main motivator. DS2 confided in me that he wants to do some great work like his dad and is afraid he isn't reaching high enough. He's just a freshman now so his motivators might change. It's definitely something we should talk about. Thank you for bringing up that idea. Great food for thought.

[essnce629]

What about narrowing them down by price? With DS1 I probably ran over 100 Net Price Calculators (every school has one on their website). We don't qualify for any need based aid and were full pay at every single reach school. We decided that no undergraduate degree is worth $70k+ a year so eliminated all those schools. DS only ended up applying to schools who's NPC was under $50k a year with merit aid and we knew we would appeal his final aid package. So starting with a budget would probably help you narrow down your choices real fast. DS knew that he would not be taking any loans so his school needed to be within our budget.

https://www.road2college.com/what-is-the-net-price-calculator/

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[Kindra178]

I hope my kids have an experience at college. I just loved it!

[Globetrotter]

I think one thing that helps is to have DS consider if he thinks/wants college to be "an experience" - does he imagine that college will be the happiest time of his life, make lasting friendships/connections, spend every weekend socializing, etc? Or, is college going to be a transactional experience for him - that is, he's going because he needs to get a degree and education in order to get on with the rest of his life. That can really help inform what he's looking for.

This is so true!! I had the most amazing, life changing college experience, and that definitely influenced our decisions.

For dd, it was most definitely the experience, but that includes the academic experience at a slac and she is so driven and took advantage of every single opportunity- and she got to do some unique things that got her the first choice job for her gap years before grad school - and it was very competitive.

And for ds, I think the academic experience will be important. Also, he is undecided but academically driven, so he is excited to explore and his eyes lit up when he was perusing the course catalogs. For him it is definitely a lot more than a degree- he will also need help figuring out his major/s so advising will be critical.
slacs tend to turn out more doctorates, which dd plans to do and ds is considering - neither of my kids was seeking a terminal pre-professional degree.

If we couldn't have afforded it, we definitely would have told him to choose a place with a scholarship- I don't think it's worth going into a lot of debt for the experience alone. We are very fortunate that DH is an aggressive saver. It was still a tough decision as he got some scholarships at great places (one large uni. in particular that is very well known) and it was hard to turn those down, but we told him to choose for the experience.

it is such a personal thing so you have to figure out your parameters.

[AnnieW625]

I hope my kids have an experience at college. I just loved it!

Me too. I commuted for two years and it wasn’t the worst but I sometimes wonder what college would’ve been like had I gone away as a freshman. I was such a homebody though and honestly wasn’t ready to go away to college until I did at 20. I really want the college experience for my DDs. Like I said up thread my DH didn’t have that same experience and he never lived away from home. I am adamant that my kids will not live at home if they go to a four year university for at least the first year as I want them in a dorm. If they go to community college then okay for two years but once you are done with that it is dorm life for at least a year (if not the rest of college).


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[KrisM]

I didn't respond to other threads but I saw your posts. If he's a NMSF (he wouldn't be a finalist until the next year- I have done a bunch of research on this, which I'm happy to share if he qualifies) put that in the awards section and they will know he tests well, but they really aren't supposed to use test taking ability if they are test blind.


I'd be interested to read about any research you've done on this. We believe DS should be NMSF in a few months and then a finalist next year. Thanks!

[Globetrotter]

Krism Sure, I’d be happy to give the info. Punkyboo was also interested so I will PM you guys. After months of not much activity, the past couple of weeks have been a bit crazy with both kids graduating and finally planning vacations LOL

[SnuggleBuggles]

[emoji849] mine is, unsurprisingly, looking to transfer. Back to the drawing board. Wants a smaller school in a different setting. Which we always knew he wanted so it was a 🤷*♀️ when he chose the school he did. He’s fine staying put but wants to at least look around. He did very well academically and socially. And next year- with no pandemic restrictions- will make for a much different experience. But, the overall concerns won’t go away. Maybe be buffered some- the good column will outweigh the bad. It’s just a really hard choice.


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[Globetrotter]

[emoji849] mine is, unsurprisingly, looking to transfer. Back to the drawing board. Wants a smaller school in a different setting. Which we always knew he wanted so it was a 路*♀️ when he chose the school he did. He’s fine staying put but wants to at least look around. He did very well academically and socially. And next year- with no pandemic restrictions- will make for a much different experience. But, the overall concerns won’t go away. Maybe be buffered some- the good column will outweigh the bad. It’s just a really hard choice.


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Oh no! I remember you saying a number of times how surprised you were at this decision. Oddly enough, I think this is probably a good year to transfer because a lot of kids didn’t go in person so even sophomores may be meeting for the first time, or at least meeting normally. I’m not sure how hard it will be to transfer from an admissions point of view. This year was certainly nuts! DD’s college could not take a single transfer student and just refunded all of the application fees.
I’m sure everything will work out!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Oh no! I remember you saying a number of times how surprised you were at this decision. Oddly enough, I think this is probably a good year to transfer because a lot of kids didn’t go in person so even sophomores may be meeting for the first time, or at least meeting normally. I’m not sure how hard it will be to transfer from an admissions point of view. This year was certainly nuts! DD’s college could not take a single transfer student and just refunded all of the application fees.
I’m sure everything will work out!

Good point about not being a bad year to be new. [emoji4]
it certainly was a crazy year! I think he can put some applications out and if he can’t transfer in then he will be ok staying put. Happy enough so at least it isn’t dire or stressful


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[SnuggleBuggles]

Oh no! I remember you saying a number of times how surprised you were at this decision. Oddly enough, I think this is probably a good year to transfer because a lot of kids didn’t go in person so even sophomores may be meeting for the first time, or at least meeting normally. I’m not sure how hard it will be to transfer from an admissions point of view. This year was certainly nuts! DD’s college could not take a single transfer student and just refunded all of the application fees.
I’m sure everything will work out!
:ROTFLMAO:he changed his mind again! He listened to my wisdom about seeing what the world will be like when it's more normal.

[KrisM]

:ROTFLMAO:he changed his mind again! He listened to my wisdom about seeing what the world will be like when it's more normal.

Too funny! I'm sure it'll work out for him. He sounds pretty flexible!