So unfair!

[niccig]

DS has a medical condition with nerve pain. After a rough first year of being diagnosed, he’s been functional with daily life for the last 2 years including playing AYSO soccer, which he’s loved since under 5 division. He’s now in U19, everyone is size of a grown man and the play is rougher (lots of yellow cards handed out this season) and the refs don’t call every foul - volunteer refs, they don’t see everything and some are better than others. DS has been getting upset with the referring and today it came out why - if he gets hurt, he’ll have months of flare-ups and be back in the hospital. He doesn’t want to play anymore. We talked about other options to stay involved, other rec leagues etc but the reality is he may need to stop playing as it’s a contact sport, and change sports to something that doesn’t have contact. I’m upset as he’s loved playing since he was 4, but his time with it may be over.


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[jgenie]

I’m so sorry. I hope your DS finds something he loves just as much that will be safe for him.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That really stinks.


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[KpbS]

I'm really sorry. It sounds like he is making a really mature decision. It is so unfair.

((((hugs))))

[belovedgandp]

I'm sorry. Hope he finds something else he enjoys. My son is a referee and stopped doing the "old man" games. These used to be great for his busy schedule because they were late on weeknights and paid well for one game, but they kept having fist fights. My 17 year old should not have to be a witness on police reports for recreational soccer for the 30 or 40+ sets.

If there are paid referees in your area it is a good way to stay involved in the sport, get paid, and decent exercise. DS had to stop playing because of his schedule his sophomore year in high school but continues to referee.

[Melaine]

That really hurts my heart! I'm so sorry.

[Liziz]

That's incredibly hard - for your DS and for you too, to see him needing to make that decision.

[carolinamama]

I'm sorry for your DS. That is unfair he's in the position to make such a decision.

Would he be interested in reffing as a way to stay engaged in the game of soccer? My DS1 refs on the side. It's a great part time job for a high school student. The local rec league games for the younger kids are low key and he really enjoys it.

[DualvansMommy]

Oh gosh, life is so unfair sometimes. It’s a smart decision, but doesn’t make kit all the more easier to swallow.

I agree with pp that referring is a great way of staying involved with games. Perhaps certification to become a coach? DH and brother in law became coaches in their rec and school teams.


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[hbridge]

YES!!! It is incredibly unfair!!! Our medically "fragile" kids have to make so many choices that others cannot even fathom. Sending hugs to you both and hopes that he finds a passion that is safer for him!

[khm]

DS has a medical condition with nerve pain. After a rough first year of being diagnosed, he’s been functional with daily life for the last 2 years including playing AYSO soccer, which he’s loved since under 5 division. He’s now in U19, everyone is size of a grown man and the play is rougher (lots of yellow cards handed out this season) and the refs don’t call every foul - volunteer refs, they don’t see everything and some are better than others. DS has been getting upset with the referring and today it came out why - if he gets hurt, he’ll have months of flare-ups and be back in the hospital. He doesn’t want to play anymore. We talked about other options to stay involved, other rec leagues etc but the reality is he may need to stop playing as it’s a contact sport, and change sports to something that doesn’t have contact. I’m upset as he’s loved playing since he was 4, but his time with it may be over.


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Oh, I'm so sorry for him. Moving on from it must be so hard.

Soccer does indeed get incredibly physical as time goes on. It got to the point where I honestly hated watching some of the games and my kids never made it as high as U19 (nor were they in the uber-competitive levels). It's just a reality of the sport. Some teams were renowned for their ability to "play dirty" and not draw attention from the refs, it was at times appalling.

Maybe he would enjoy refing, but I think I'd see if he'd like to get involved with coaching whatever his favorite age group is. A co-worker did it on the side and found it incredibly rewarding, and it was a paid position for a competitive team so he earned some cash too!

[bisous]

I totally see why this is unfair and you're upset! I am so glad that your DS is in a good position now. And you guys really are so smart to recognize that his health and wellbeing could be in jeopardy if you continue down that path. So kudos to both of you for choosing the smarter option. I don't have any suggestions to help him find something he loves to fill the hole. That totally sucks. :(

[niccig]

Thanks all. I needed to vent about it! DS loves soccer.He was going to age out next season from AYSO, and we hoped he could finish it out. We were about to decrease the frequency of DS’ psych appointments, but won’t now as he deals with the issue. He walked back the “I want to quit” so he may still play again, but he needs to deal with the limitations he has


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