Surprise acts of kindness for a teen girl?

[California]

My DD1 and I have been clashing a lot lately- mainly over her helping around the house. We’ve agreed to surprise each other with an unexpected treat/act of kindness each day up to Thanksgiving to try to reset things. Today I got her a surprise smoothie. Tomorrow I’m going to put hearts all over her door with things I love about her.

Any ideas for future days? Normally I’m good at this sort of thing but work/teaching has been extra challenging (for 1 1/2 years now!) and I’m all worn out.

[hbridge]

Such a fun thing to do. A few more ideas...

- Homemade cookies, just because
- Taking care of a chore or two for her
- Trip to the coffee shop together, just because
- That book/lipstick/trinket that you know she wants
- Cupcakes (because, CUPCAKES)

When DC and I clash and our relationship is struggling, the thing that helps the most, is time together outside of the house. It works as long as it's no pressure, loose plans, ect. After a horrible few months years ago, I just pulled DC out of school and we headed to her favorite museum in the city. It was a random Tuesday in November, the museum was practically deserted; we had a wonderful time and I could see some of the stress fall off of the kid and we had some space to just be together and have fun. It helps... a lot. However, this was an extreme situation, I have also taken DC out for breakfast before school, gone out for ice cream, stopped at her favorite store on the way home, gone to the arcade... Anything to have fun together and reconnect.

Good luck.

[hellokitty]

A journal
Cute pens
Fuzzy slippers
Book with words of encouragement or inspiration.
Twinkle lights for her bedroom
A nice mug
Lip gloss
Movie night
A succulent
Send her an episode of your favorite podcast
Send her photos from the past
Leave her a note where she lease expects it
Fun socks
A cute keychain
Send her funny memes
Take a walk or hike together
Do an art or craft class together
Some cure gloves or mittens
A pack of fun shaped post it notes
Something with her initial on it

[Liziz]

Love this idea!

*write a note and hide it in her books/somewhere she'll find when she's at school
*offer a foot rub/back rub
*make her favorite meal for dinner
*if you've been clashing over her helping around the house, I wouldn't just *do* one of her chores for her, as I think that may send the wrong message -- but I would join in and do one of her chores *with* her. My DD1 is responsible for emptying the dishwasher, and it always makes her so happy if I pop in and unload a few things myself while she's working on it

[PunkyBoo]

What about a 2 person gratitude journal? You write something in it that you like about her or praise for her, acknowledgement for something she did. You leave it for her. Then she writes something for you and leaves it for you. Could be the next day or a few days later, and pasd it back and forth.

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[jgenie]

My kids love pictures of themselves when they were younger. I print at CVS and plaster to their door or the mirror in the bathroom or the kitchen wall.

[California]

Thank you all so much. I love these ideas!

Hbridge, this is my first year working full time since I first had kids! I've always had at least one day off and I would do surprise "no-school-days" with them. Or, pick them up a little early and surprise them with a smoothie or boba date. I wish I could do that again- but there's a sub shortage and it's hard to take time off. On the positive side, we're able to pay my son's college tuition with my extra income. On the down side, my girls are having a hard time adjusting to needing to help out more around the house. It'll be okay in the long run but right now it's definitely been a challenge.

I'm going to run to the store to pick up some surprises. Thank you all for doing the thinking for this tired teacher mom!