Day care advice

[Chitowngirl]

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My youngest DD is 4 and in day care after being home with a nanny the past year and a half due to covid. Partly due to the fact that she was kept home for so long, staring day care was difficult for her as she does not do well in new situations or with new people. After about 6 months she is just now adjusting to her teachers and the other kids. I really want to keep her in day care as I think she needs the socialization. Initially the plan was to keep her there til she started Kindy next year. The problem is that I don’t love it there. It’s “fine” but not much better than that. I’m counting down the months til she starts kindy and doesn’t have to go there anymore.

So with that background, how would you handle this situation? This picture was sent home today as part of their monthly newsletter. I was shocked to see the picture. I really hope they didn’t have that many kids in a room, unmasked, that close together. I guess best case scenario, I’m hoping it’s an old picture from prior years. How do I phrase/ask that? If it’s not, then what? Do I remark that it’s not safe in this current time? Do I ask to review their policies? Can I ask to have my child fed separately? How would you handle this as it really bothers me, but I can’t decide what to do?

TIA everyone.


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[gymnbomb]

How many kids are in her class? Was this just her class (my daughter is 4 and her class has 18 kids in it -- I assume they are all eating close together unmasked every day)? Or were they combining a lot of different classes? I mean I don't love it, but I'm assuming this is pretty much what lunch time looks like for both my 4 year old and my second grader.

Edit: For context, I kept my son home for distance learning first grade last year by choice, but sent my daughter to daycare because I couldn't work from home with her at home. I have my daughter wear a mask to pre-k even though it isn't required for her class. My son got his second Covid vaccine today and neither of my kids has eaten in a restaurant since March 2020. I do let them go to gymnastics class with masks and to swimming lessons. I would say I'm a little more Covid cautious than average.

[California]

Like Gymbomb said, if it was just the regular class eating together it might not be that different from their usual lunch. How many students are in a class? At the preschool next to my work, they have two teachers per class and for kids 4+ can have 18 students in a room, and they eat inside together every day.

Now as a vegetarian, I wouldn't want them to feed my kids any meat- but that's not what you were asking!

[Chitowngirl]

There are about 6 kids in her little group and 12 in her class. They usually eat just with their group (12 kids). They also nap with no masks in their group of 12. As far as I know they don’t eat with other members of other classes on a usual basis so this was definitely a larger gathering than usual.

We were very covid conscious the first 18 months but have backed off significantly as I don’t think it was good for the kids socially. They do many more activity but they mask. This day care situation is basically the only situation they are in where they are around large numbers of people with mask off for parts of the day. Honestly it does make me nervous, but I understood that risk when I put her in school. That being said, I do think there are things the school could do to minimize that risk like not bringing together multiple classes even for a holiday party and distancing when masks are off.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

It’s really not different than most of us encounter at our kids’ schools. I wouldn’t be upset by this. I understand that you might feel differently but this isn’t the issue that I’d stress about. It looks like a special event. Maybe just keep your eye out for other special events?


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[DualvansMommy]

From the tablecloth and type of food, it looked like they were celebrating Thanksgiving lunch. So possibly combining both classes for that day? But otherwise if it’s the same usual 12 in her group daily I would let this go.


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[PZMommy]

This is not a battle I'd deal with. Most schools are having kids eat unmasked on a daily basis. There is only so much that can be done.

[AngB]

This is not a battle I'd deal with. Most schools are having kids eat unmasked on a daily basis. There is only so much that can be done.

This. My kids have been eating in a cafeteria with their entire grade levels since last Oct. (3 of them). And just now got covid from school (one of the three and he's been exposed like 15 times or so in school, and is asymptomatic maybe from luck or maybe from previously having it and we missed it or maybe the one dose of vaccine mostly did the trick.)

I am like you where I wouldn't love it but I also wouldn't do anything.

[bcafe]

I would not be bothered by this scenario. What I cannot believe is the amount of food on the plates for little kids!

[AnnieW625]

It’s really not different than most of us encounter at our kids’ schools. I wouldn’t be upset by this. I understand that you might feel differently but this isn’t the issue that I’d stress about. It looks like a special event. Maybe just keep your eye out for other special events?


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I agree with this. I would not be upset by the above.


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[jgenie]

Reentry is hard on lots of us. It must be especially hard for you since your daughter was able to be home with a nanny for so long. I can see how that setup can be jarring. I think it was a special set up for the holiday and likely not as many kids on a daily basis. :grouphug: My kids are older so they tend to eat in smaller groups but truth be told there isn’t much social distancing going on. It made me uneasy initially but it has gotten better. One of my DC had lunch unmasked with a friend for several days before the friend tested positive. Neither had been vaccinated yet and luckily my DS didn’t get sick. Here’s hoping the next few months fly by until your DD starts kindergarten!!

[Chitowngirl]

Yes, re-entry has been very hard for us. The only IRL person I asked made me feel anxious as she said her son’s school is good about seating the kids 3 feet apart at meal times when masks are off, but he’s older and in real school so the kids need less help and I didn’t know if that was a fair comparison. I posted here to get a lot of opinions and it seems overwhelmingly as though I need to just relax and leave this alone. Thanks so much for all the responses.


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[doberbrat]

I'll be the one to say I'd be upset. That seating appears to be shoulder to shoulder. In our district kids do eat unmasked but a min of 3 ft apart and often much closer to 6ft.

[Smillow]

I teach half day preschool at a very small church preschool program (6 - 4 yo, 7 - 3 yo & 3 - 2 yo; 1 teacher per class). We have the kids (except the 2 yo) masking indoors and have served snack outside weather permitting - it’s getting more difficult to keep outdoor snack going w/temperature & wind). We did have a thanksgiving party indoors due to weather but had the kids ~6 feet apart and I opened several windows and turned to hvac fan on. It’s hard right now as several kids are having sneezing & coughing issues. We hand wash twice in 3 hours (more if they use the restroom). We don’t sing inside. Last year we completely discontinued snack after Thanksgiving due to the rise in cases. We have determined what will happen in January. We were able to do that because we are only there 3 hours. I keep the kids outside for at least 45 minutes at the beginning and end of our day (as long as it isn’t raining/snowing - those 3 year olds are happy to be outside and almost never ask to go inside!) If any parent wanted to know what we are doing I would be more than happy to tell them and be open to suggestions. We really want to be able to keep the school open and everyone healthy. I imagine all day care is much more difficult.

[carolinamama]

Have you been led to believe that the school is keeping kids in their "pods", especially while eating and sleeping unmasked? If that is part of their policy, I can see how this picture would be jarring. It's not unreasonable to ask so you know and reading the daycare Covid policies seems completely appropriate. Our PreK-8 school publicly published their policy and anytime changes are made, they tell us.

I agree with others - reentry is hard. You are entrusting the daycare with your child and have every right to politely ask for their policies without feeling badly about it. Ultimately, I wouldn't be upset about that setup but everyone has their own personal comfort levels.

[mikala]

Add me to the list of people that would have questions about this setup, particularly if you've been led to believe they usually pod the classes for mask free times.

It sounds like this meal is over and done with so I'd approach it as just asking their meal covid precautions, especially in light of locally increasing cases. I'd hope they could at least pod the kids if not provide some distance between them. Our elementary lunchroom seats kids staggered along the tables with space between them and so they arent directly breathing on the person facing them.