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♥ms.pacman♥
02-01-2023, 10:25 AM
In the past month:
*got back on New Year’s day from traveling to visit parents
* I got COVID over a week later, the day before my son’s birthday. Thankfully mild case but obviously affected my ability to exercise for next several weeks
* Re-org was announced at work, and i was made head of a new group within our department (which is awesome, though a bit overwhelming, as I just started a couple months ago, still coming up to speed and I’ve never been a people manager before!).
*Passports for DS and DD (which we applied for rush service, back in December) are extremely delayed, sitting in USPS office in Arkansas somewhere (now have been sitting there for over 3 weeks) and passport office nor USPS is of any help at all. We need these for our spring break trip in early March. Travel agent is needing our passports to book domestic travel at our location, but can’t due to this delay.
*My mom (who has Parkinson’s ,anxiety and various other issues) often texting me or calling me to complain about this or that, that she had to go to ER the other day bc she was worried about x or y, etc. My dad calling/texting me to call or text my mom so she has someone to talk to, but when I do, she just complains she is not doing well and to get my dad to come help her. My mom calling me crying/screaming complaining about my dad.
*I book trip for this weekend to visit my mom (have to take 2 days off work). I have to take time to book flight and I have to book airbnb, rental car bc my parents are so complicated (long story, don’t ask).
* DD (11) got her braces on Monday , complains she can’t eat anything bc her teeth hurt, having to prepare soft foods
* Ice storm here in Texas cancelled school yesterday and today
*Cleaning lady (normally comes every other week) has not come to our house since early December, so more than 6 weeks, due to the holidays, various ice storms, my covid exposure, etc - so house is total mess
*As I’ve been swamped my poor DH has been handling basically everything with the house (dinner prep, grocery shopping, kids appointment) - i feel bad he has been burdened so much.


I’m tired and overwhelmed. I know this is horrible to say, but I hate taking care of people. I’m not good at it and it’s exhausting and draining and gives me awful anxiety and depression. I had a very very hard time when my kids were little and I was a SAHM and my DH traveled a lot. Now they are old enough to be independent , my DH works from home and I have a new job I am excited to do well at. Yet my focus and energy are completely shot, and it kills me.

georgiegirl
02-01-2023, 10:58 AM
Wow, that sounds super overwhelming. I’m tired just reading the list of things you’ve dealt with in January. Fingers crossed you passports arrive soon and you can enjoy your spring break trip.


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wendibird22
02-01-2023, 11:31 AM
I'm so sorry for your horrible January. I'm like you...not good at taking care of others. It does not fill my cup at all. Hugs to you and here's hoping your February is more peaceful.

♥ms.pacman♥
02-01-2023, 02:44 PM
Wow, that sounds super overwhelming. I’m tired just reading the list of things you’ve dealt with in January. Fingers crossed you passports arrive soon and you can enjoy your spring break trip.


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Thanks!! Once we get those I’ll be more relaxed! DH is freaking out about it.

I'm so sorry for your horrible January. I'm like you...not good at taking care of others. It does not fill my cup at all. Hugs to you and here's hoping your February is more peaceful.

Thank you for saying this. I feel so bad as i think as moms were conditioned to always be taking care of others. I absolutely hate it though. I hate it whenever DH gets sick (i would rather be sick myself). Having toddlers was rough and i love having older kids. So this situation with my mom is gotten to be untenable. I was just there a month ago for over a week, and now i have to go again, and in between i am getting calls and texts. Ironically my mom loved (still likes, to some extent) taking care of others in need, thrives on it even. She is very social and always has to have friends and always needs to be talking to somebody, all.the.time. My dad is not like that at all and understandably is overwhelmed too. I never thought of myself as an introvert but i guess i am in this regard…i need space to focus and not be interrupted regularly by someone needing something. I feel like i earned my scars from that already in the early 2010s with two kiddos a year apart.

thank u all for letting me vent!!

ahisma
02-01-2023, 03:59 PM
I’m tired and overwhelmed. I know this is horrible to say, but I hate taking care of people. I’m not good at it and it’s exhausting and draining and gives me awful anxiety and depression.

Me too. And I do it, because of course we do, but I'm no good at it and I really, really resent it - and then feel awful for that. For me, I'm sure it's because my mom was chronically ill so that's what life was as a teen - but man, I'm 47 now and still just no good at it.

Gracemom
02-01-2023, 07:24 PM
I'm going stir crazy being stuck at home for two days and now school is cancelled again for tomorrow! I'm so sorry January was so hard. I think it's great you are admitting that you are not cut out for caretaking. I'm totally over it and desperately trying to get my DH and kids to do more for themselves. Hang in there! The thaw is coming soon.

petesgirl
02-01-2023, 07:36 PM
In the past month:
*got back on New Year’s day from traveling to visit parents
* I got COVID over a week later, the day before my son’s birthday. Thankfully mild case but obviously affected my ability to exercise for next several weeks
* Re-org was announced at work, and i was made head of a new group within our department (which is awesome, though a bit overwhelming, as I just started a couple months ago, still coming up to speed and I’ve never been a people manager before!).
*Passports for DS and DD (which we applied for rush service, back in December) are extremely delayed, sitting in USPS office in Arkansas somewhere (now have been sitting there for over 3 weeks) and passport office nor USPS is of any help at all. We need these for our spring break trip in early March. Travel agent is needing our passports to book domestic travel at our location, but can’t due to this delay.
*My mom (who has Parkinson’s ,anxiety and various other issues) often texting me or calling me to complain about this or that, that she had to go to ER the other day bc she was worried about x or y, etc. My dad calling/texting me to call or text my mom so she has someone to talk to, but when I do, she just complains she is not doing well and to get my dad to come help her. My mom calling me crying/screaming complaining about my dad.
*I book trip for this weekend to visit my mom (have to take 2 days off work). I have to take time to book flight and I have to book airbnb, rental car bc my parents are so complicated (long story, don’t ask).
* DD (11) got her braces on Monday , complains she can’t eat anything bc her teeth hurt, having to prepare soft foods
* Ice storm here in Texas cancelled school yesterday and today
*Cleaning lady (normally comes every other week) has not come to our house since early December, so more than 6 weeks, due to the holidays, various ice storms, my covid exposure, etc - so house is total mess
*As I’ve been swamped my poor DH has been handling basically everything with the house (dinner prep, grocery shopping, kids appointment) - i feel bad he has been burdened so much.


I’m tired and overwhelmed. I know this is horrible to say, but I hate taking care of people. I’m not good at it and it’s exhausting and draining and gives me awful anxiety and depression. I had a very very hard time when my kids were little and I was a SAHM and my DH traveled a lot. Now they are old enough to be independent , my DH works from home and I have a new job I am excited to do well at. Yet my focus and energy are completely shot, and it kills me.

I'm just here to say that I also hate taking care of people! I mean, of course I love my kids but the constant battle of trying to get them to do all the things that are **for their own good** (you know--eating healthy/enough, sleeping, showering, oral hygiene, peeing and pooping enough......it is utterly exhausting. Physically and mentally.

♥ms.pacman♥
02-01-2023, 07:45 PM
I'm going stir crazy being stuck at home for two days and now school is cancelled again for tomorrow! I'm so sorry January was so hard. I think it's great you are admitting that you are not cut out for caretaking. I'm totally over it and desperately trying to get my DH and kids to do more for themselves. Hang in there! The thaw is coming soon.

Oh yeah, i couldn’t believe it when school is cancelled for 3rd day in a row!! Going stir crazy I’m sure is a big part of my frustration!!

WatchingThemGrow
02-01-2023, 09:01 PM
SIMILAR january...but I'll just tell you...when the cleaners come back, it'll ALL be better. promise! I felt like I had a whole new life last Friday after mine came back after 6 weeks...also covid on return trip.

♥ms.pacman♥
02-01-2023, 11:38 PM
SIMILAR january...but I'll just tell you...when the cleaners come back, it'll ALL be better. promise! I felt like I had a whole new life last Friday after mine came back after 6 weeks...also covid on return trip.

thanks, i'm hoping for this!! She should come the day after i get back from my trip and i cannot wait.

KpbS
02-02-2023, 02:57 AM
Ugh, that’s a lot! Hope things are on the upswing soon.

I sent you a PM.

lizzywednesday
02-02-2023, 04:55 PM
...

I’m tired and overwhelmed. I know this is horrible to say, but I hate taking care of people. I’m not good at it and it’s exhausting and draining and gives me awful anxiety and depression. I had a very very hard time when my kids were little and I was a SAHM and my DH traveled a lot. Now they are old enough to be independent , my DH works from home and I have a new job I am excited to do well at. Yet my focus and energy are completely shot, and it kills me.

I don't think it's horrible to say it, but I think that, societally, it's so hard to say it out loud to people who don't understand what you mean.

We've "known" each other for almost 14 years thanks to the BBB, and, parasocially, I know you love your family deeply. But it still sucks when you're the one expected to take care of everything/person and you're wiped out.

I often feel the same; it's part of the reason I react so angrily when my DH pulls the "man flu" - it's like the world has to come to an absolute standstill because he's got the sniffles, but I could be running a friggin' fever & be totally delirious and I'd still have to wipe bums and make dinner.

marinkitty
02-03-2023, 01:53 PM
That is A LOT! I really hope the passports come through soon as it sounds like you could really use a break from day to day life. Our January had a lot in common with yours and I'm also wiped out from it emotionally. I hope you get to throw yourself into the new challenges at work and everyone gets back on their feet and not needing quite as much from you minute to minute. Is there any way to help your folks get some caregiving to ease the burden on you and your dad? My mom (with Alzheimer's, and currently a broken foot (part of my hectic January), finally had to give in to more care at home and it is like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders). Hang in there!

♥ms.pacman♥
02-18-2023, 01:31 PM
thank you all for the replies! the kiddos passports (reissued, as the original ones were lost ) finally came yesterday!!! they arrived while i was on work travel. so relieved!!