Did anyone listen the last few weeks?? NO gatherings!

I'm frustrated just like the rest of you. I have seen so many postings on FB today of family Christmas parties. It's so ridiculous. My one friend was tagged in a post from her mom that said "Second party in two days with my daughter and her family, having two more in the next two days - just trying to be safe." But are you? Are you really being safe by still getting together with groups? Yes, it's a smaller group but it's still a lot of people! The one that infuriates me the most is a set of doctors, who are not related, and both preach safety. They are doing their annual tradition - gingerbread houses and dinner. And they were not spaced apart. WTF? I felt very safe being around one of the families (we were never without masks or within 6 feet, but the kids are on the same basketball team) because they claimed to have felt the same we did, and were always being safe when I saw them. The dad even reported an event we attended because they weren't following protocols. They did look a little uncomfortable in the pictures, but still. No masks, no distancing. They could have just said no. I know they didn't go to see families because of covid this year, so they're having a party instead? I know it's happening, but it just hits really hard today since we're trying to be so safe. My parents live about 3 miles from us and my mom was crying today because we couldn't be together. I'm trying to be safe and it just seems the rest of the world doesn't care. I give it two weeks and then the rural hospital will once again be overrun. Ugh!

Our hospitals here in LA are already overrun and our ICU capacity is at 0%. Nurses are now taking care of more patients than they are supposed to. They are talking about rationing who gets care. Yet the malls and stores are crowded. People are getting together with family and traveling across the country. It makes me furious, because we are being so careful, and so many are being careless. I feel so badly for our hospital workers who are being pushed to the brink and can’t keep up with patients. They are predicting the worse to hit in mid January.

Yes to this!
My parents (both high risk seniors, with mom recovering from surgery) and my household (very high risk DH) both stayed home and we didn't host, as is our usual.
So... my sister and her husband decided to have all the adult kids - two of his and five of hers - all over at their house, with all of their spouses/partners and small kids, plus the husband's senior parents. Over forty people at their house right now with all of the workplaces and 10 kids in different daycares... I can only imagine the contact tree. While I'm glad we're not there, it scares the crap out of me.
It's so frustrating, both us and my folks sent out our "sorry, no contact" and why a couple of weeks ago, I don't know why they thought this would be a good idea.

Noticing on my Facebook feed that the gatherers vs non-gatherers can easily be tracked back to party affiliation. Crazy.

Not here. Mostly it's an age thing here, with the younger gathering and older and middle staying home.

Reading these threads helps me realize we are not alone. Yesterday was a great day with my kids - we made cookies, watched a A Christmas Story, and hung out together. And then I walked the dogs in our neighborhood and saw all the gatherings happening. Multiple cars with out of state license plates in driveways, neighbors getting together with eachother and I started feeling frustrated and sad. We haven't done any indoor socializing since March, including our kids. We've declined so many invites. My kids hang out together while their friends have carried on, living their best lives house to house. I'm really sad for my friends working in the Covid ICU. They are burned out and the worst is yet to come. No one seems to really understand that our healthcare system is struggling and care is severely impacted when the hospital is full and short-staffed. Obviously I share your extreme frustration.

Can you do a quick outdoor celebration with our parents? Mine are 5 miles away and we did a brief gift exchange today in their driveway. They set up an outdoor heater, Christmas music on a portable speaker and a table. We all wore masks and stayed distanced. It really helped my mood after yesterday. My mom received her first vaccine this week (CRNA at the hospital) and while we are still very careful, it gives me some hope for a better and connected future.

Same. My parents, my SIL, and my ILs all did a driveway drop off of gifts to our house the other day and all of us were fully masked even outside and while distanced. We zoomed with them today for an hour each. We’ve had no one in our home, aside from a plumber and the guys who delivered our treadmill (I was masked, as were they all), since this summer and even then it was to grab a plate of food or use a bathroom and then hang outside.

But my neighbors had a big family meal with at least 4 or 5 households present and my social feed def has quite a few large gatherings. And yet a friend in town just doc diagnosed with Covid yesterday and spent her Xmas day on bed feeling like she got run over by a truck. She contracted it via work (corrections where there’s a major outbreak) despite precautions. She’s rightful pissed at how people are flaunting their disregard for others.


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So many gatherings in my FB feed. I almost miss the early days of public shaming. Now I see huge groups of people and comments are like "Merry Christmas!" which is always a nice sentiment and I honestly wish I felt that uncomplicated about the scene. I have been hearing lately (through an interview with a woman who works on the AIDS epidemic on a recent podcast) that shaming is not a productive way to deal with public policy non-compliance and that knowledge tempered with my own religious instruction not to "judge" have been constantly on my mind...and I'm still struggling with it all.

My favorite thing I've seen posted yet was from a pediatric endocrinologist in TX who put up this quote on Instagram:

"Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy." Albus Dumbledore

And it resonated so much for me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bisous

"Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy." Albus Dumbledore

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This is good. I have been privileged enough to not have lost as much as so many during this pandemic. We have our health, our financial security, and haven’t lost anyone close to us. What I have lost, like many of you it seems, is my basic faith in humanity and specifically many of my friends and family. I really don’t know how to get past what I’ve seen from people this year. I’ve got a running list in my head of family and friends that I don’t care to ever be within 6 feet of again.


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