Anyone quit their job and start working for themselves? Or change careers?

I am burned out. I've been a fundraiser for 15 years, and while I love the mission of my organization and many of the people I work with, I'm done working for narcissists and not having a voice. When I look at other jobs, they seem so stressful, whereas I'm generally comfortable where I am, flexible 32 hours, 4.5 weeks of vacation, short commute (well, none now), been there a long time, etc. But there is STRESS and frustration (new leadership is making it WAY worse) and I need a change.

Anyone leave their comfortable job and start working for themselves? Find something they can do that doesn't require a boss, and makes decent money? I think I could go back to fundraising eventually, but right now I just don't want to be judged and pushed around and having to prove myself all the time. Maybe I just need a break for 6 months or a year, but that seems scary. I really don't want to work full time, 9-5, until DD is out of high school in 3 years, but I'm not sure I can stay put for 3 more years in my current situation... We could make it work without me working, but we'd be spending down our savings, and I don't want to do that. DH and I make the same amount, and it's decent, but nothing spectacular. Our combined salaries make our lives comfortable, and I don't want to change that either.

Would love to hear your stories of getting out of the rat race and finding your path!

I don’t have a ton of time to talk but I wanted to say that getting started working for yourself requires a tremendous amount of time and effort in most cases. In most cases, in order to be successful starting your own company you will have to put in long hours fighting fir work and clients and proving yourself or your product. If you need help, YOU are the HR department sorting through posting job openings, reading resumes, doing interviewing, setting up payroll, etc. YOU are in-house legal, and all the other departments that support a business until you can afford to high or pay experts in those areas. There is definitely a life cycle for companies and the initial climb to stability is hard. There are always exceptions to this of course.

If I were you, I’d start quietly looking for a new job. Contact a recruiting firm and let them know you are looking. Contact the major fundraising companies and ask about openings. I am working for 2 non profits right now who are trying to fill development positions and in one case we have been looking for over a year. We have come to the point where we are hiring a headhunter (at 30% first annual salary for a fee) because there is a serious shortage of effective, proven development people. With the shortage, I have a feeling you could work anywhere in the country and continue to office at home. If you find that there is a shortage of development people in our area and think you are currently undervalued but otherwise like your job (because 4.5 weeks of vacation is RARE), then talk seriously to management at your current company. Let them know they won’t find someone to replace you and what they should do differently if they don’t want to lose you. Then be ready to jump ship if they terminate you. Being fired is ALWAYS better for the employee. It means you get Cobra, some sort of severance package, etc. (If you are interested in traveling or moving to Wisconsin or willing to make a few annual trips to Peru, I know of 2 openings you could apply for right now!)

Double post

Over the years I have worked for myself (music career/ran a wedding band, independent software/web developer), as an employee and as a contractor (as a software eng). Burn out is real, especially among women and even more right now. I was burnt out at least a year before the pandemic and I can really sympathize that it is very hard to imagine taking another job or even starting a job search when you are burnt out. Can you take some of your vacation in a big block this summer to recharge? or even take an unpaid leave/sabbatical for a couple months? Transparently I'm taking a big long break this summer and I'm ...honestly not sure I'm coming back in the fall. If you were to ask me today 'are you going to be working this job in Oct' right now my whole body would say 'please, no', but I want to see how I feel a few weeks into a break with some rest. And I'm not just quitting now b/c there's a lot I like about my job and I want to be careful with that decision. (I'm obviously very fortunate to work someplace where they support taking a break for 2 months which is a reason to try and see if I can make it work here, but also they and the industry (tech) lose a lot of folks to burn out, so it's in there interest to support leaves of absence and in my case, i'm using vacation I've earned and not spent).

One way I've and other folks I known have bridged quitting a job is by moving into a consulting position. It's not quite the big leap that quitting and starting your own business is. My MOH did this, quit her very stressful burnt out non profit job maybe five years ago and had a couple contract/consulting positions lined up with various contacts in her network, I've also moved to contracting with past employers. She then started her own business which is doing well now, but there were a lean period for a while where she was also looking for a new job. For this to be successful you have to know your worth and understand how the financial aspects (taxes, benefits) change when you aren't an employee and account for that accordingly in your contracted rate.

I think if you are interested in running a business that's completely different than what you've been doing the an easy thing to do is to buy a couple business books and see if things are resonating with you and learn about some of the generic or industry specific gotchas that get independent businesses. The E-myth is a classic one I read probably 15-20 years ago that was very enlightening, and there are probably newer ones that are even better. Start reading/talking to people/learning about the industry you're interested in, etc.

I feel like every day I see an article or podcast episode that as things trend upwards in the pandemic and lot of people are making big life changes, reevaluating their careers, their jobs, etc. So you aren't alone!

argh double post strikes again!

I did several years ago, but it meant going back to grad school.

My sister in a “I’m done with this job” one weekend updated her resume and applied for several jobs. She didn’t think anything would come from it. She’s now on the short list for a job that is in her field, but in a different setting. She said even if she doesn’t get this job, it’s opened her eyes to what else is out there and made her reflect on what she wants in her next position, and what she needs to do to position herself for that next position.

I agree with talking with a recruiter and see what’s out there.


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I used to work in development many years ago. At that time people would make the change to the for profit side with one of their vendors... like going into sales for development software or consulting for a firm. Is that of interest? I myself switched to for-profit sales but in a vastly different industry. But honestly sales would still mean proving yourself all the time. I say you are only as good as your last month or year depending on how your goals are set.

I can’t imagine that starting your own business would be any less stressful for you. It’s a lot of work and a long time before you have income and to me at least that would be stressful. I guess you just have to weigh if that stress is worth being on your own.

I used to work in development many years ago. At that time people would make the change to the for profit side with one of their vendors... like going into sales for development software or consulting for a firm. Is that of interest? I myself switched to for-profit sales but in a vastly different industry. But honestly sales would still mean proving yourself all the time. I say you are only as good as your last month or year depending on how your goals are set.

I can’t imagine that starting your own business would be any less stressful for you. It’s a lot of work and a long time before you have income and to me at least that would be stressful. I guess you just have to weigh if that stress is worth being on your own.