COVID has destroyed my son !
I honestly thought that this social distancing mess was something that wouldn’t take this long . I honestly thought it would be just like normal except we would wear a mask. I didn’t mind working from home as a teacher nor that my son , an only child , was home with me . I was loving the time and the slower pace and everything. But now . I feel like a big idiot . The weather sucked a lot of the time so when he wasn’t doing homework we would let him play Xbox. What I would give right now for life to be normal for me would mean the world and I would throw that Xbox out. Because right now I’m having the hardest time looking at pictures my friends post of their kids going to baseball or soccer or even to hockey rinks right now. Why ? Because my son who quit baseball, soccer , and Cub Scouts to focus on hockey has decided he no longer wants to play .
Why ? Well first he wants to focus on playing airsoft guns , which he can’t do right now on the first place and that is something that is like playing laser tag where you go and play with friends . And he wants to focus on eSports . He says there is no point to playing hockey . There is nothing to work for . It is stupid and boring and no longer fun .
He had a hard season where he had a team where some kids were mean to him even though his team made it to the championship . I really feel like this pandemic caused him to do nothing but dwell on it and took away any motivation . And I really feel he has anxiety too as a result .
I’ve got him in counseling . And It sucks because here are some great summer days and my kid is staying inside looking at his phone or on Xbox .
And I am trying to reach out to parents of kids he says he wants to hang out with . And they are all busy . [emoji20]
#momfail
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COVID has destroyed my son !
So there no sports or get togethers where we are so DS’ only socializing has been through video games. He has a large group of friends that play so I’m thankful for that amount of social life.
He needed to help a friend of ours who was building a wood wall at our house. Both DH and I had to work so DS had to assist. He’s expressed interest in past about learning how to build things, but neither DH or I know how. DS grumbled at helping as he has to wake up earlier, but he enjoyed learning from our friend. He asked about buying some power tools and we went to home Depot and bought a miter saw and a jig saw. DS is now building things or helping with projects that need power tools. I have a list of things I want him to build for me. He’s designing the desk he wants to build before school starts back. He’s still on the computer an awful lot, but he’ll get off to go to Home Depot or to cut some wood for me.
Try to encourage other interests if you can. It’s all we can do right now. Try our best
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COVID has destroyed my son !
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SnuggleBuggles
Sometimes kids don’t know what’s good for them and you have to step in and just make them do something. I remember your posts about the hockey team though and that really sounded like it was more your passion than his. I know I thought he should quit based on those posts. But find something else and sign him up. Maybe rec level just to be active. Everyone feels better with some exercise. And go cold turkey on the Xbox just for a reset. If he’s bored, so what? Hand him a book, hand him a project, go on hikes, go to a climbing gym, head to a pool...there’s lots to do in the world. It stinks that his friends aren’t free. We’re having that problem too though we still aren’t doing in person things (just trying to Skype/ FaceTime). Lots of people aren’t socializing. It must be hard to live somewhere that people aren’t practicing more social distancing because then you feel left out when really you’re making a good choice.
But, you didn’t fail but you can’t let him call all the shots. Keep trying and do take a video game break. Those really help! I’ve btdt!
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The problem the last go round was that he got in trouble in the locker room at tryouts . He was playing with his stick handling ball in there then two other boys joined in. One of them reached into the bag of another kid and took out a goalie glove and then the kids who it belonged to (8 year old kids . DS and friends were 11 and 12) came in and the other two boys swore at them . My son was taken in wth the other two to the hockey director as part of guilt by association and being in the locker room at that point . My son and his friend chose running as a consequence and the other kid chose to get changed in the waiting area . From talking with the other two kids’ parents , I learned they only got a tongue lashing . Me , he got a talk and me trying to explain real life similarities, a week of Xbox taken away (because it was the heart of his social life at the time prior to phone ) , and he had to write a letter of apology to the hockey director. Maybe a bit overboard , but my son rarely gets in trouble at school or anywhere and when he does it’s a big lesson . And in my book he needed to learn something out of this . However in his mind he believes that if it had been one of the favorites the kid would have gotten a slap on the hand .
About a couple of months later one of the more mean spirited moms from the team asked me when he was getting suspended . I asked what do you mean ? I called the hockey director and he said flat out no . So that was good . Unfortunately my son overheard this conversation woth me talking to a friend about it in a conversation about mean and petty people in general .
That whole spring I had to just remind him to go onto the locker room and get ready and not play around . I was driven crazy because of that mom and I didn’t want her saying anything . My son is social not malicious , but parents were making him out to be a troublemaker . One time in front of other kids as they were playing around in the hallway I threatened to pull him out
My kid is a very good kid overall . But the complaint of the previous coach prior to last spring was that he and another kid screwed around too much in the locker room . And I had to explain to him over and over that if he wanted to make one of the higher playing level teams he has to show he is self directed and doesn’t need an adult in there to supervise . ( trust me that’s a whole other conversation)
So this past season, the new coach he had wanted to learn about him so I talked him up , and said he had the potential to be a leader , etc .
Then came the first situation where one of the goalies cross checked him in the neck during practice . So i told him to talk with the coach . He did and coach came and talked with me after saying the goalie won’t do that anymore but DSnunderstands that if he stands in front of a goalie this is what will happen.
So it kind of went downhill from there . I did tend to support the coach because I’m a teacher so I want that support but I did tell my DS he needs to speak up for himself . My DS would
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COVID has destroyed my son !
My son is 13 years old now. I didn’t get to finish but the one thing was was that in all honesty looking back yes on this one particular team this group of kids was awful. He is now moving up to a different level. In this level the kids are a little bit more chill because now they are highschoolers and he’s away from six graders and fifth graders. He would be with mostly other eighth graders some seventh graders and ninth graders. The whole thing is is that he quit all sports all other activities and just focus on Hockey. when he was like what 9-10years old.
He is not interested in any other sports. All he wants to do is do things with my husband who’s straight out has said that’s fine but he is “ not his playmate “ and also he has to work . My son tried to help my husband on a few jobs building decks but it didn’t work .
Anyway , after the goalie incident. Things started to go downhill . My son would say things like I don’t feel the team respect me. So I said to him why do you say that? And he would say well they don’t pass to me and I said well then you do things to show that you are the person to pass to you go out there and you show them. You know respect is earned on the ice and not automatically given. So as it turned out there were a few kids were mean to him but the thing I have told him as I said you need to have some good come back lines for these things. But he was afraid that they would take it and turn it around especially when one of the kids who was in fifth grade and the coach’s son was on the team. One day a mom said to me “ what is it about your son ? The kids are so mean to him! And it bothers my son so much ! “ she told me stuff like that would not have happened with her son’s previous coach in the club.
We were at a tournament and a group messed up our hotel room . Again I asked the kids to come and clean it up . When In rhetorically asked why they would do such a thing I got “it’s because he destroyed our shinny game at the last tournament “ .
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