I was going back and reading previous posts and came across this one and wanted to respond (I am on hospital bedrest so I am trying to find something to fill all this time!!!)
Anyways: While I can only comment on my son's montessori school, not all montessoris are the same. Ours is great and LOVE it. DS started in the school at age 4, from a normal preschool class. It was an adjustment in the beginning, because he didn't get the idea that all the kids were doing something different....and not as a group. So if a child didn't want to work with him, he took it as an insult and got upset....this did pass as he got to know the system and understand. Our school is very much into the triangle learning, where they follow the child with the teacher and parent as part of the triangle, if that makes sense. They really encourage the parents to get involved, and the door to the classroom is always open for you to come and volunteer or just observe.
Being in this setting comes with some very high positives.....last year, DS's teacher realized that my DS was a visual learner....so she made sure, when she taught him his lessons, that she adapted this for him, if he could "see it" he could understand it. The teachers try very hard to find out what works for each child.
The kids are self directed, and self motivated, but the classroom builds this skill. So there aren't any worries about your child wandering around doing nothing.....the teachers watch for this, and help direct them to something that they want to do.....then as it gets later in the year, the teachers don't have to do this very often. The children are self motivated. They are in classes with different ages.....DS's class last year was 3-6 years old......and this year it is 1st graders - 3rd graders. They adjust the work for the child's age group....first graders are required less, second graders more...and so on. The older children do lead the younger kids. And this makes teasing by older kids less in these classes. It really is nice.
I have boys, but I have friends with girls and they say the peer pressure on the girls, especially as they get older, is less and less. And the girls tend to be nicer....I am not sure if this is because the kids are taught this, or the classrooms are smaller, or they just know one another better.
My son is in first grade...and does carry over addition, mulitiplication....maps, spelling, and many other things that I am just amazed he knows how to do. Now with that said...DS struggles with his reading...at least with me.....he doesn't like it as much as his math. But they work with him, and I am sure with time and practice, that to will improve greatly. Our school does tons of great things....last year, his class did two plays....the kids LOVED it!!! And they were very cute doing them. They go on lots of field trips. The materials they work with are top notch. Most of the classrooms have some animals in them....fish, birds, hampsters....etc... which the kids love!!!
DS gets a homework package on Mondays...and must turn it in on Friday.....it can be done at anytime. Which works great for us, if we are busy one night, we can "catch up" the following night. Sometimes, he can finish it all in one day, and then just practice his spelling words for the remainder of the week.
All in all, I have been very happy with the school. We wondered if we were doing the best for DS, with such a different style of learning. But honestly, this is a great school and we are so happy we put him in it. I don't like the tution bill......but......what can you do???!!!!