Who to invite to DS's party and related questions?

I want to throw a small party for DS's bday. I'm thinking about doing something like inviting a few kids to go bowling (not an official bowling party- just as something fun to do), then doing food/cake, possibly back at home. We still don't know a ton of people here, but DS does occasionally play with some of the neighbor kids when we see them outside- so we know them, just not really well yet. Would it be obnoxious to invite those kids? What if I put "No gifts" on the invite? I just don't want anyone to think it's a gift grab, or to feel like they are obligated to attend, kwim? Would it be bad if I invited some of the neighborhood kids, but not everyone?

My other dilema is DS's other friend. I would consider his mom a friend of mine, and she has 4 kids total (2 much older- like more than 5 yrs older). Should I invite all 4 kids? I'd hate for the older ones to feel left out, but I also don't want them to feel like they have to go hang out with the little kids.

Neighbors? Go for it and don't worry about the gift thing. IRL I don't think people have a negative feeling about b-day gifts as much as the people on here would. I know my family would be happy to pick out a gift. It's ok to limit who you invite too though you might want to tell the parents that this is a small party and you aren't inviting other people from the neighborhood. That should help avoid any uncomfortable slip ups.

Invite the whole family. If the big kids don't want to come then I bet the family will work out some arrangements.

Beth

I agree with Beth for both the neighbors and the friend's family. I invited my friend's 5 y.o. son but not her 2 year old daughter to DS' birthday (more because it was her DD's naptime and she NEVER allows her to miss the nap) and now every single time they are invited to a party she lets me know that the DD was invited too - ugh!

Linda

I think it's fine to just invite a couple of the neighbor kids that he likes to spend time with. As for the other family, I would probably leave it up to the mom. Let her know that the older two are welcome to come but if they don't want to come "hang out" at a little kids party no biggie. Since you are just inviting a few kiddos I would probably go ahead and let them bring gifts unless you are very opposed. I much prefer a small party. Have a great time!