1-2-3 Magic: How do you make it work for 2-year olds?

I'm reading 1-2-3 Magic and so far I can see how it works--I'm basically through the "stopping obnoxious behavior" section that focuses on the counting. I am not sure how to get my 2 year old to time out in a specific spot, much less go there willingly. The only times I have done a time out has been in his high chair, but I really don't want to mix eating with punishment, YKWIM? I read the section about escorting them kicking and screaming to their rooms and, if need be, somehow corralling them in there with a gate, locking the door, doorknob cover, etc. Is that typical? So much of the book is really designed for the elementary school aged child.

He understands counting and he's definitely testing us, so we need to implement something before this escalates! Can you give me a feel on what you do with your kids who are under 3?

Thanks!

Allison
Mommy to Matthew, who is TWO!

I had similar questions when I first read the book earlier this year. I wasn't sure if Sarah would get the counting thing without me also telling her why I was counting, and had no idea how time outs were going to work. I think we've counted fewer than a dozen times, and have issued fewer than half that many TOs, so we're not all that expereinced. The first few times I counted, I explained that I wanted her to stop her behavior before I counted to three, or she would need a time out. I didn't go into too much detail, but knew counting alone (sans explanation of why I was counting) wasn't going to do it at first.

I don't know if Sarah's behavior is typical, but the times we got to three and I mentioned it was time for a TO, she went (without any prompting) to a couch or chair or spot along the wall and just sat there quietly, with no toys, etc. I don't know if it's counterproductive to let them choose the TO spot, but that seemed to work for us. She has even tried to give herself TOs a few times when we've gotten to "One" or "Two," but I told her it was up to her if she thought she needed one.

Sorry, I fear I'm rambling. I hope some more experienced mamas can give some better advice - we're pretty new to this, too.

Melissa, mom to Sarah (5/03)

Martie follows the program well. Martie does her timeouts in a chair facing the corner of the wall in the guestroom. Sometimes I will just put her in the guestroom and she'll lay in the bed for the 2 minutes. If you noticed in the book he says that it doesn't matter what they do for their timeout period - the point of the timeout is to take them away from the "obnoxious" behavior. Just be consistent with counting to 3, and remember DON'T SAY ANYTHING in between counts. I find it more effective than saying "1 . . . do you want to go to timeout . . . 2 you better stop or you're going to get a timeout".

-Sonia
Mommy to my Strawberry Shortcake lovin' Martie

Hi Allison,

DS is 22.5 months, and I just started on 1-2-3 Magic about a month ago, too. DH picked out a timeout spot for DS, and it is in an area between the guest bathroom and guest bedroom, off the living room. So, DS is not completely out of sight from us, since most of the time we are either in the kitchen or in the living room.

I have not done this too many times, but DS seems to understand. A few times he would actually go there without screaming, but a couple other times he did not want to go there or did not want to stay there later, so whoever gave him the time out will block his "exit".

I usually try to give him a chance and explain (short explanation) about why he should not do something. Then if he continues, I would say "That is One, and if I get to Three you will get a timeout". If he continues, then "That is Two, do you want a timeout?" Often times he would stop at Two, occasionally at One, and of course, some times he just did not stop ----> Time Out.

Overall I think DS is co-operative, but occasionally he does look at us and test us (I think it is also especially me!).

HTH!

My best friend has a 3 and 4-y/o and uses 1-2-3 and I've noticed in the past few months that her 3-y/o went from not really paying attention to really stopping when his mom starts counting (he just turned 3), so I think age does have something to do w/ it. For timeouts, my husband tends to hold Nate in a bear hug, which results in Nate kicking and screaming and trying to get away. But I haul him upstairs and dump him in his crib, which is the only way that I contain him. He won't stay in his room or on a stair or in the corner, etc. I also stick him in his crib in the morning when I am trying to get all of us dressed so that he doesn't attack his sister while I am getting myself dressed.

We picked a dining room chair that's in the corner but facing out. I didn't think DS would stay in the chair but he does. Some of the time he will just go and sit if I get to 3, sometimes if he is being really wild I will need to put him in the chair. If you don't think your DS will stay in a chair I would go with the bedroom and a gate. I had planned on role playing to introduce time out by counting and putting DH in time out before DS but we did not get to do it. One afternoon when we were reading the book DS was misbehaving and we just started counting.

It's worked well for us but some weeks it seems he is in time out much more than others.