3 yo refusing the potty

we started training and finished in october. he was in underwear for about two months. every day, i would ask him every 2-4 hours if he needed to go, he would either say "yes" or "no" and then i would take him to the potty and he would do his thing.

he was wearing underwear and he did keep his underwear dry. maybe once a week he would wet his pants. this would be sometimes deliberate (because i just asked him) or sometimes because maybe it was my fault because i didnt ask in time. about 30% of the time, he would actually tell me that he needs to go.

in december we took a 3 day trip and he was pretty sick with a fever. had a cough that lingered all through december and into early january. beginning the trip he started refusing to go. he was hardly eating anything so he wasnt really pooping much at that point. he would go take a piss most times, but then he started wetting his pants frequently enough that we went back to pull ups after having been in underwear for about 2 months.

he never went back to the underwear.

and now he absolutely refuses to take a poop. he just poops in his pull up. he will take a piss, though.

now he NEVER tells me he needs to go, even though i remind him 20x a day "tell mom when you need to go potty, okay?" he answers (while nodding) "tell mommy when i need to go potty". but he never does anymore. im so sad!

what do i do here?

what im afraid of is that im going to have to wait until he is 4 yo before he will go back to his underwear.

argh!

also i would like to add that for about a week, i tried just putting him in underwear.

NOT FUN. he simply pissed or pooped in it. the whole week. okay i exaggerate. he pissed in the toilet maybe half a the time, but half the time not. and he never told me on his own he needed to go. and he always pooped in the underwear.

and lastly, no advice is okay too. every kid is different. i guess i just wanted to vent. maybe this is a bitching post, but i will gladly take advice too.

thanks for letting me vent and cry into the ether...

I feel your pain. No advice. Going to post a similar post myself.

UGHHHH