How to handle this kind of parent

So just wanted to look for some advice especially now as my son is a peewee . How do you handle the he said / she said and he did this / she did this aspect of hockey on the ice at practice . You know when kids say that kids on their team did stuff like check when they aren’t supposed to, hit , tripped etc . Or when a parent says your kid is doing this to their kid...what do you do ? How do you handle it ? My thought is there is always 3 sides to every story : your kid’s side , the other size and the truth

But let’s say parent approaches you about something your kid did at a camp that isn’t even sponsored by your team and goes on and on. I said I would talk with him . Which I did and then I told the head coach to not put DS in the same line etc with this kid . Parent claims he saw my kid punching , tripping and checking on purpose when he wasn’t supposed to . Thoughts ?


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Defer to the coaches. You weren’t there.

Eta- if true, based on that plus your other behavior concern in your past post, maybe it’s time for a hockey break.

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I would probably try to assess if there was any grain of truth. Because I really hate for my kid to ask monstrously. I also learned long ago that a good phrase to use when others complain, “thank you for letting me know”.

Thank you for letting me know. Then drop it

Honestly, if I thought my kid was doing it, and the coach was letting it slide, I'd step in. There are a lot of mediocre coaches out there, and if they're letting my kid get away with stuff that I am not okay with, I'd put a stop to it. Sports are not an excuse to behave in ways that aren't acceptable to me. But, if you don't think your kid is doing it, I'd talk to the coach, and if the parent approached me again I'd say "I spoke to the coach, and s/he isn't seeing this behavior."

This parent doesn't seem like "thanks for telling me" will work. I'm sure the follow up is "well, what are you going to do about it?"

I would have said thanks, I’ll talk to DS. Then I would talk to my son and the coach and ask the coach to be aware and let me know. Also...if I thought my kid was causing some issues, I’d always stay and watch so I would know for myself and could deal in specifics. Your son may not be ready to be dropped off and left to the coaches’ discretion if it’s true. I might also tell the other parent to let their child know that the coach should be informed if he has problems with your son.

If you are concerned about your son's behavior, maybe you should stay and watch so you know for sure what's happening. We are baseball, not hockey parents, but my DH has coached, and it's not possible for the coach to have eyes on every kid at every moment. I also have a child with challenging behavior issues who could not be left at a camp or an activity unsupervised for several years. Camps tend to have much more lax supervision than a structured school environment, and sometimes they are not a good fit for every child. I've always found "Okay, thanks. Excuse me." then looking at my phone and answering it and walking off to be effective escape route.