Do you spend individual time with each twin?

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03-26-2011
twowhat?

Do you spend individual time with each twin?

As in, completely apart? Like you take one twin to go do something while DH takes the other somewhere else so they get one-on-one time?

We have always thought about it but never really pulled it off since usually the girls will throw fits if one is going somewhere but the other isn't. But today DD1 threw a MONSTER tantrum over something unknown, and we had promised to take them to the park and then out to dinner. I told DH to go ahead and take DD2 otherwise we'd run out of time and no one would be able to go. So - he took DD2 and I stayed home with DD1. Once DD1 finally calmed down, she seemed really REALLY happy to be "only child" for a few hours. She let me bathe the dogs (played on her own for 30 minutes!!!) She even (GASP) PLAYED ON HER OWN for what must have been at least 10-15 minutes while I TOOK A NAP ON THE COUCH (I really really didn't mean to leave her unsupervised with the intent to nap - I just sat on the couch and was so tired that I crashed). Unheard of!!!! If I'd known this in advance, I would've cooked a couple week's worth of meals:)

Just curious if you try to work one-on-one time in with your twins on a regular basis, whether you found it to be valuable, and some ideas for what exactly you do.

eta: when DD2 got back, she was a little upset that I had bathed the dogs without her. Haha. But DD1 seemed to not be bothered at all that she missed a park AND dinner outing. DD1 is our homebody - she would rather be at home than out somewhere.
03-26-2011
Momof3Labs

We do try because the girls seem to enjoy being an "only" but it also requires getting rid of the boys first, lol. Which is getting easier as they get older. When all four kids are around, we usually split up boys/girls or one of us takes one of the boys and the other stays with the remaining 3 kids. It's not unusual for the girls to wake up from their nap different times so they get some one-on-one then, too.
03-27-2011
BeachBum

Mine are only two, so we don't really do outings one on one...
But when nap schedules are different,or circumstances permit, I really, really try to maximize the time I have with just one. My kids really enjoy one on one and respond very well to it. It seems to calm them and make them feel so much secure overall. It also fixes a bad attitude like nothing I've every seen. I also have a 5 yr old, and I notice the same effects with him.
03-28-2011
fivi2

I always intended to...

When I was a SAHM, dh worked really long hours and weekends we either did family stuff or gave each other our own time.

Now that I work, it is even harder to fit one one time in.

We have actually started just out of necessity - one is seeing a therapist and the other gets time with the other parent. We have a bed time reward chart and they earn rewards separately. They really seem to enjoy the one on one time. I am trying to work something out with my sister so that she does individual time with one at a time.

But - my girls are 5. Prior to the last 5 or 6 months, I would say that one on one time was very very very rare. Like pp, I tried to make the most of nap time or when one was involved with something, but it is what it is...
03-29-2011
twowhat?

Quote:

Originally Posted by fivi2

I always intended to...

When I was a SAHM, dh worked really long hours and weekends we either did family stuff or gave each other our own time.

Now that I work, it is even harder to fit one one time in.

This is our main problem. Weekends are so precious that we want to do things as a family. Or, DH takes them so I can get a break or I take them so he can get a break...one-on-one time just gets pushed to the bottom of the priority list. It just makes me wonder if we should be making it more of a priority (at the expense of me spending time with DH for example).
03-29-2011
BeachBum

Quote:

Originally Posted by twowhat?

This is our main problem. Weekends are so precious that we want to do things as a family. Or, DH takes them so I can get a break or I take them so he can get a break...one-on-one time just gets pushed to the bottom of the priority list. It just makes me wonder if we should be making it more of a priority (at the expense of me spending time with DH for example).

My thought is that one on one doesn't have to be a long time--or something super fun. It's just about being together. Taking one kid with you to the grocery store, and letting the other one pull weeds with daddy for example. For my kids, focusing on them even for 30 minutes matters.
04-02-2011
twowhat?

So we made an effort to do it this weekend - I took DD2 to the grocery store while DH took DD1 to Costco. It was very hard at first - both girls wanted to go with me. Then both girls wanted to go to the grocery store. Then both of them wanted to go to Costco. Then one of them wanted to ride in the our secondary car to Costco (but we needed the minivan to go to Costco because it needed gas). Eventually I got them to agree to the final arrangement. This is part of the reason we never do it - both girls will argue that they want what the other has and it gets hard to even get out the door. Even when I don't offer a choice - like today I simply said "DD1, you're going to Costco with Daddy and DD2, you're going to the grocery store with Mommy, and next time we'll trade." It almost ended in a tantrum-y mess. Ah well - anyway eventually it worked out.

OMG - SO EASY TO GROCERY SHOP WITH ONE KID!!! I even took the time to browse!!! And I hope that both girls enjoyed their one-on-one time. We'll definitely try to keep doing little things like this.

The drawback - we now have lots and lots of grapefruit. I mean, a lot. Next time I should specify the fruit on DH's list:)