Do you let your pre-teen/teen sleep in?

DS1 is almost 14 and has started "sleeping in" a bit more than he used to. On weekends, the rest of the family is up by 8 at the latest (normally around 7 unless we've had a late night) and he'd stay in bed until 10 if we let him (we don't). Now that it's summer vacation, DS1 would like to sleep in every day. I understand that teenagers require more sleep than younger kids and adults, but was curious what others allow... DH and I both work FT, so we are in bed by 10 pm and then out of the house by 7 am (DH earlier).

So do you:

1. Have a designated bedtime? Is it different during the summer months?
2. Have a wake-up time in summer months?

I left the house at 7:30 today and told the babysitter to wake him around 9 am. She tried 5 times and then he finally got up around 10 am. We make both kids go to bed between 9 and 9:30 pm. Starting next week, he'll have hockey in the mornings, so sleeping in won't be an issue, but he'll have days off... WWYD?

Sleep is important. We let him be.
5 mornings/ week he has swim team practice though so sleeping in is a luxury.

When he was your ds's age, he had to go up to his room around 10 but we aren't enforcing that consistently anymore.

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It's 10:30 and my 13 and 14 year olds just got up :). I let them sleep. DD1 is in a play right now that has rehearsal until 10 pm nightly, so we are all up pretty late here. Sleeping in isy favorite thing ever. I am ok with my kids sleeping as much as they want.

Can't wait for that day here... my 12 year old never slept past 7am a day in his life!

More sleep = less grumpiness here.

It's 9:45am and DD is still asleep. Our big plans for the day are a vet appointment this morning and DD's gym practice late this afternoon. There's no reason she needs to be awake right now.

After sleeping in super late for a couple of mornings, she realized that too much sleep makes her tired for most of the day, so she now has an alarm set for 9am. Needless to say, just because the alarm goes off at 9am, that doesn't mean she actually gets up at 9am!

She doesn't get to stay up later if she sleeps in.

I let them sleep when they can because many mornings they are up with activities and sports. Also because I'll admit, I love to sleep in. I would rather stay up late at night when I get a second wind and sleep longer in the morning. Ours don't really have a bedtime in the summer. We just all go upstairs to bed at the same time after we say prayers together. During the school year that's 9pm, during the summer it has been 10pm or sometimes later. We all usually take a book upstairs and once they are tucked in they will read for however long. I dont care, I'm just thrilled they are reading.

I let her sleep until 8:30 max. Usually I try to wake her by 8. She goes to bed at 10 at the latest.


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Sleep is necessary. If they don't have something to do, they can sleep.

I wake my teen by 930/10. Otherwise it throws off her whole sleep rhythm. Even in the summer she has camps for a few weeks and needs to be up by 730 for those, so it's best not to let her sleep in too much.

They need sleep and they need sleep in the morning according to many studies. Their bodies and brains are going through incredible development right now in the middle school years. Our local school district just went through a huge decision to move start times later for middle and high school kids for this reason (not 10 obviously!). I would let him sleep in, we do and my child was an early riser until it hit him suddenly a couple of months ago and he slept later. He goes to bed later with summer too, 11 after watching the opening of The Daily Show. He was an early to bed, early to rise guy before the throes of teenagerdom happened. Let them sleep if they don't need to be up early.


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When I was that age, I'd sleep until 11:30 in the summers! Probably because most nights, I'd be up reading til 4am... For HS, I had to be up at 5:30am. I needed the sleep once school was out.

I do unless we have somewhere to be. The day after the 4th of July this week I had to wake DD1 at 11:30am because we had a lunch commitment, but she usually doesn't sleep quite that late!

I don't wake him unless there's a reason. Sleeping in is the best part of summer break! I didn't get up until 10 this morning!

Can I just say that I am so jealous of all this sleeping in? DD is up between 6 and 6:30 every day, even when she is up late the night before. She is only 6, so maybe there is hope for sleeping in when she get older.


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My kids are younger, but I, myself, have a lot of trouble sleeping and am often up very late at night. I do not let myself sleep in, and I won't let my family do it either. It's very poor sleep hygiene. We do adjust bedtime and waking time with summer. We all (except DH who has inflexible work hours) regularly stay up about an hour later and sleep about an hour later, but if we have a really late night, we still get up in the morning, even on weekends. Teenagers generally have a sleep cycle that shifts late. They want to stay up late and sleep late, and that's okay. I'd let my teen sleep later as long as the schedule was consistent. As long as your teen is waking up at the same time each day regardless of bedtime, you'll be okay. Just make sure you've got enough time to move the waking time earlier incrementally (15 minute increments work great) before school starts up again.


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Originally Posted by trcy

Can I just say that I am so jealous of all this sleeping in? DD is up between 6 and 6:30 every day, even when she is up late the night before. She is only 6, so maybe there is hope for sleeping in when she get older.


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DS1 is like this. He's always been a wake up between 5 and 6 am sort of kid. Doesn't your DD have ADHD? I think ADHD kids often have sleep issues. (Mines getting evaluated for it soon.). I will say that since we started medicating him and having him swim at night 4 times a week, he will sleep until 7 or 7:30 a couple of times a week...sometimes.


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Mine hasn't started sleeping in late and I'm not sure he will, never has slept past 7:15. I agree w PP and would keep a consistent bedtime (9 sounds good) during the summer and let him sleep in til 9/9:30 on the days he doesn't have to be up and out the door. Sleep is super important, but it is easy to have their sleep/wake cycles shift, making it harder to fall asleep earlier and wake earlier when needed.

DS1 is 13 and I wake him up once it hits noon!!! If I don't wake him up he's slept as late as 3pm before! 😂 That's on weekends only, during the week he has summer camp at 9am every day. DH and I go to DS2's sports games every Saturday morning, but leave DS1 sleeping in. All DS1's activities aren't till 4pm on Saturdays and Sundays. He stays up as late as 1am on weekends, but 10:30pm on weekdays. We're both night owls!

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Originally Posted by georgiegirl

DS1 is like this. He's always been a wake up between 5 and 6 am sort of kid. Doesn't your DD have ADHD? I think ADHD kids often have sleep issues. (Mines getting evaluated for it soon.). I will say that since we started medicating him and having him swim at night 4 times a week, he will sleep until 7 or 7:30 a couple of times a week...sometimes.


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She does, sleeping has always been an issue with her. Yesterday she was in the pool a lot and stayed up late...she 'slept in' until 6:40 today. Hopefully her mood is ok today. She doesn't do well with not enough sleep.


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Originally Posted by KpbS

Mine hasn't started sleeping in late and I'm not sure he will, never has slept past 7:15. I agree w PP and would keep a consistent bedtime (9 sounds good) during the summer and let him sleep in til 9/9:30 on the days he doesn't have to be up and out the door. Sleep is super important, but it is easy to have their sleep/wake cycles shift, making it harder to fall asleep earlier and wake earlier when needed.

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I could not sleep at 9 pm in the summer and there are still activities in our per group at that time! I can't imagine getting a tween or teen (or my ten year old) in bed at 9, we are still out and about. The changes with fall and getting dark earlier and the rigors of school and being tired out from it do the trick for getting back to sleep earlier during the year (still not quite that early here - sports until 8 or 8:30 pm some nights).



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Sleeping in is definitely not "poor sleep hygiene" - a family choice sure, and no problem if you want to have everyone up, but not a problem on days when you don't need to be out the door. I wouldn't negatively attribute judgment to sleeping in during the summer. Teens do sleep later, as a group, and is hard wired.


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Originally Posted by HannaAddict

I could not sleep at 9 pm in the summer and there are still activities in our per group at that time! I can't imagine getting a tween or teen (or my ten year old) in bed at 9, we are still out and about. The changes with fall and getting dark earlier and the rigors of school and being tired out from it do the trick for getting back to sleep earlier during the year (still not quite that early here - sports until 8 or 8:30 pm some nights).



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I agree! DS2 is only 8 but his basketball practice over the summer is going till 8pm right now, which means we don't even get home till 8:30pm. His bedtime is 8pm normally and I'd actually like to keep it that way over the summer since he's been having trouble waking up in the morning for camp.

But yeah, teens are totally different than elementary kids and everything is more lax over the summer.

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Originally Posted by HannaAddict

I could not sleep at 9 pm in the summer and there are still activities in our per group at that time! I can't imagine getting a tween or teen (or my ten year old) in bed at 9, we are still out and about. The changes with fall and getting dark earlier and the rigors of school and being tired out from it do the trick for getting back to sleep earlier during the year (still not quite that early here - sports until 8 or 8:30 pm some nights).



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Totally. DD1 (age 14) has a nightly activity that ends at 10 pm. It's a program for HS and college age kids. There's no way I could get her into bed at 9. I can't even do that during the school year!

So we're actually really struggling with sleep at my house and so this is a very relevant conversation for me!

Everything I've read does signify that letting kids sleep in sometimes and making them get up others is not good for their sleep patterns. If that doesn't seem to affect your child that is a very good thing! I does affect mine. He really needs regularity in order to get the rest he needs or he has problems with insomnia. We do have a slightly later schedule in the summer time and wakeup time is later to reflect that but I just make sure (like 123LuckyMom said above) that we leave enough time to transition back to "school year" schedule.

Bisous, both of my kids are like this. If they sleep in super late some days and have to get up at a normal time on others, they are cranky and irritable and never seem rested. My older DD even agrees that she feels better if she doesn't sleep past 9 in the summer or on weekends in the school year. So you are definitely not alone!

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Originally Posted by HannaAddict

Sleeping in is definitely not "poor sleep hygiene" - a family choice sure, and no problem if you want to have everyone up, but not a problem on days when you don't need to be out the door. I wouldn't negatively attribute judgment to sleeping in during the summer. Teens do sleep later, as a group, and is hard wired.


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Well, according to science, it is, in fact, poor sleep hygiene. That's not my opinion. It's the conclusion of many, many scientific studies. (See #7: http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/...vercoming/tips) That doesn't mean I'm judging anyone who chooses to follow a different pattern. Whatever works! As I mentioned, I have terrible trouble sleeping and have my whole life, especially as a teen. I understand the desire to sleep in, but it is better if it's a time you can wake at consistently every day. Scientific studies do show that a consistent waking time, regardless of the time you go to bed, is the best for feeling well rested and achieving healthy sleep. Going to bed at the same time nightly is likewise better as are a whole bunch of other things I generally fail to do, so I'm not judging, but the one thing I really try hard to do is have a consistent waking time. I definitely feel the difference when I sleep in. I get that sleep-hangover the article mentioned, especially if I hit the snooze alarm! That snooze thing was a really terrible invention, IMO. That's why I recommended a consistent waking time to the OP. I think it will help. And leaving enough days to transition to an earlier wake time in 15 minute increments before school starts will help, too. Studies show a 15 minute difference is easily tolerated, but more can be problematic.


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We are not morning people in our family - well except for dd2. They have a get out of bed time - depending on where we have to be that day and when they went to bed. They may not get out of bed before that time. During the school year its 7:15. During weekends and summer its 9am unless we have to be somewhere. They are welcome to read in bed, play quietly etc but may not come and bother us before that time unless its an emergency.

DD1 often will lounge in bed snoozing or reading till 11 and I let her. .... it means I get to do the same :)

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Originally Posted by 123LuckyMom

Well, according to science, it is, in fact, poor sleep hygiene. That's not my opinion. It's the conclusion of many, many scientific studies. (See #7: http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/...vercoming/tips) That doesn't mean I'm judging anyone who chooses to follow a different pattern. Whatever works! As I mentioned, I have terrible trouble sleeping and have my whole life, especially as a teen. I understand the desire to sleep in, but it is better if it's a time you can wake at consistently every day. Scientific studies do show that a consistent waking time, regardless of the time you go to bed, is the best for feeling well rested and achieving healthy sleep. Going to bed at the same time nightly is likewise better as are a whole bunch of other things I generally fail to do, so I'm not judging, but the one thing I really try hard to do is have a consistent waking time. I definitely feel the difference when I sleep in. I get that sleep-hangover the article mentioned, especially if I hit the snooze alarm! That snooze thing was a really terrible invention, IMO. That's why I recommended a consistent waking time to the OP. I think it will help. And leaving enough days to transition to an earlier wake time in 15 minute increments before school starts will help, too. Studies show a 15 minute difference is easily tolerated, but more can be problematic.


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Deep breath 123Mom. Your post sounds pretty judgy and I don't need to spend the time to link to studies that don't agree with you. It is fine to let a teen sleep in, tons of studies support this. By all means enforce whatever sleep rules you want at your house, but a teen sleeping in is not a big deal. Some people may be fine with those rules and they work for them, good for them. It is a good idea to gradually shift sleep cycles when summer ends but teens need sleep and it is equally okay to let them sleep with no ill effects. Really.


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Originally Posted by HannaAddict

Deep breath 123Mom. Your post sounds pretty judgy and I don't need to spend the time to link to studies that don't agree with you. It is fine to let a teen sleep in, tons of studies support this. By all means enforce whatever sleep rules you want at your house, but a teen sleeping in is not a big deal. Some people may be fine with those rules and they work for them, good for them. It is a good idea to gradually shift sleep cycles when summer ends but teens need sleep and it is equally okay to let them sleep with no ill effects. Really.


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No judgment. No deep breaths needed. I was surprised and taken aback by the vehemence of your response to my advice, which was based in pretty universally accepted science, so I did defend the information I provided, but I don't have any stake in what you choose to believe or practice. You should do whatever works best for you and your family no matter what I or anyone else has to say about it. I'm sure there are many articles about teens' need for more sleep. Certainly I wouldn't disagree with that need. I'm very familiar with sleep science having been steeped in that research for over 20 years. I definitely would never claim that sleeping later would be harmful to anyone, only that consistent wake times are best for establishing good sleep patterns, which they are. Doing almost anything on a regular schedule as a consistent discipline is best for establishing a pattern. Waking at a regularly scheduled time, like exercising at a scheduled time, eating at a scheduled time, sitting down to work at a regularly scheduled time, helps the body and mind to be ready for that activity at a regularly scheduled time. I'm not criticizing you and your choices. The printed word loses much in tone, so I'm sorry if something I said hit a nerve or sounded judgmental. Perhaps the term "poor sleep hygiene" sounded critical-- like saying someone is dirty or something, but it's a widely used term in the field of sleep study and not a personal attack or even a criticism. I'm not judging anyone, just providing information I hope will be helpful to the OP. You may, of course, disagree or offer opposing or differing advice. What's wonderful about this forum, I feel, is the range of advice we can receive when we ask.


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For DD1 sleeping in 7:30 or 8 am; she has always been a somewhat early riser; up most days by 6:30. I was the same way and am the same way now as long as I get to bed before 11 pm. I did go through a phase in college (summer and winter break weekends) and pre kids where I would stay up until 12 midnight or 1 and then sleep until 10 or 11 am. It will be interesting to see if DD1 continues this sleep pattern.

We let them be during the summer months and they tend to wake up around 10. During the school year, their lives are so busy and stressful that I strongly feel it's important for them to get some R&R during the summer. Also, imo, part of the fun of being a kid is the ability to goof off during the summer and stay up and sleep in. Of course all this changes if they have activities in the morning, but barring that…
I just read some of the pps- my kids do fine with this.

I think let him sleep (just not all day!). Rest is important and they are less grumpy lol.