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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2QSvPIDXwA
I'm curious: what is your response to this? I found it powerful. I'll be thinking about this one for a little while...
A couple quotes: "stiff and stimmy stiff and stimmy it is grace" "Oddness and rigidity it is grace" "I stand. I am autistic."
(I should mention that it includes the word f*ck.)
I love it.
Have you seen these?
The Obsessive Joy of Autism
About Stimming
On "Quiet Hands"
DS stims. Sometimes it needs to be redirected because it interferes with what he needs to be doing. But a lot of times it's functional. It can be soothing, relieving stress and anxiety. It can expel excess energy and help him concentrate. It can be entertaining. It feels good. Stimming is part of who he is.
I've often tried copying stim behavior that friends or clients do. Sometimes it calms me right down... there have been a few movements that made me feel high. I totally get why people do it!
Thanks for sharing those other links.
ETA: I LOVE that one about the obsessive joy! I am definitely bringing it to work with me to share with many, many caregivers. You will not believe how often I've argued for people's interests and joys vs stigmatizing them as "obsessions" and trying to "train" them out of them! Sometimes those conversations make me very angry indeed.
I thought all of these links were very interesting and worthwhile. What I took from it is that we need to focus less on "fixing" people and more on appreciating them for who they are, the gifts they have and the joy they experience and bring to others.
I've been working on this a lot lately with my own son and I think I'm making pretty good progress. I keep remembering something my mom said to me before she passed away. I was uspet and talking to her about my DS and how he just didn't seem like other kids. She said, "He is who he is, and you are just priviledged to have him." I'll never forget that.
That's beautiful. Does your son have autism? It sounds like he scored the PERFECT grandma! And a pretty great mom, too.Quote:
Originally Posted by inmypjs
My son does not have autism, but he does have learning disabilities (including dyslexia, dysgraphia and mild dyspraxia) and some mild Aspergers/PDD traits. And she was the perfect grandma! I miss her so much. She was a kindergarten teacher, before kindergarten got so crazy, and she truly appreciated kids who were different or quirky. She always told me they turned out to be the neatest people when they grew up. When I struggle with parenting stuff I try to remember her wisdom!
I thought about this thread yesterday.
We had a really busy weekend and DS was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the activity by the time we went out to a late lunch/early dinner yesterday afternoon. It was a family friendly restaurant where the kids' menus have puzzles and activities. DS had a hard time settling down, even after DH and I tried several different strategies, and we were all very frustrated. The restaurant was busy and DS was clearly attracting some attention from other diners. I was thinking that we might have to leave.
Then DS said to me, "Mommy, may I have a pen please?"
I asked, "Why? Do you want to write on your menu?"
DS said, "No. I want to stim on it."
I asked him, "Will stimming calm you down, or get you more worked up?"
DS said, "I want to stim to calm down."
So I gave him a pen. He rapidly waved it in front of his eyes for a minute. Then he held it parallel to the floor and moved it in slow circles in front of his right eye while quietly humming a little tune. I'm familiar with this pattern of movement and sound. His breathing slowed and his body relaxed. He stopped kicking the seat. After a few minutes he was calm.
I ignored the looks from the parents at nearby tables: some clearly disapproving, others full of pity, a few puzzled. Stimming works for DS, so I'm long past caring what they think.
Our food arrived and DS was pretty good for the rest of the meal - not perfect, but as good as could be expected. We enjoyed ourselves. I thought of this thread and how wonderful it is that DS can tell me when he needs to stim to calm himself down.
What a gift she gave you in her words and wisdom!Quote:
Originally Posted by inmypjs
Great thread. Ds stims and while his dx is ADHD, he also has many asperger traits. Some of those links are very helpful to explain to others this behavior. Thank you! :-)
gena - yes! and able to say it with words! i'm looking forward to those sorts of things from ds myself.