Fake "relationships" with extended family
I just got a message from my aunt that my 2nd cousin (her teen granddaughter) wants to come over when my grandkids are here today to see them. I was able to put it off for now, but not for long.
So, this is the teen that lived at our home with her mother for 4 months while they "looked for a place to live" and didn't find a place until we were remodeling, and we wouldn't be cooking most of that time--therefore leaving them to plan/pay for their own meals. (Don't hate--the mom had a job, and food stamps, so it's not like they were high and dry when we did this!) End result: she's never been taught limits.
The whole time they lived with us, they were sleeping in our grandsons' bedroom, so the grandsons didn't come over for their weekly dinners and monthly sleepovers; we watched them 1 weekend in that time, and it was h*ll. They didn't have their space, they didn't have their beds, they had 2 more people telling them how to behave, and an overbearing teenager that wouldn't let them be. Here's my point in this--said teenager has seen my grandkids for 3 hours each Christmas x2, maybe 2 hours for my DD's birthday x1, and that 1 weekend 2 years ago... and she believes she is their "best auntie" who they love and adore and can't live without. Seriously, they haven't seen her in 9 months--they would more easily recognize the hand-stamper from the children's museum. They don't know her name, they certainly don't remember her.
The 3yo DGS recently learned to say my (approaching elderly) auntie's name, and auntie is smitten. Understandably so. He's a freaking adorable kid who wraps everyone around his little finger--he's going to be a great politician one day with his charisma and charm. My grandsons see Auntie at least 2 hours once a month; they don't adore her, but they will generally tolerate her, and even hold her hand in a parking lot.
I'm fairly certain Auntie told teenage cousin that the 3yo now says Auntie's name, and so teenage cousin is jealous, and now needs to "make a name for herself."
I don't have the energy for it. We had the grandboys last weekend, and then again Monday night. The 3yo's tonsillectomy went fine, but his recovery has sucked, so I've been in constant contact with their mom (which is what I'm here for, since her mom is completely absent for years now, and I'm completely cool with that), and it is tiring. I haven't slept well all week. I don't have the energy to let teen cousin come over and have to monitor interactions. My DD knows to not get in their faces, that sidewalk chalk is parallel play at their ages, that she's too big to play on their cheap-a** swingset, and what is age appropriate for them. Teen cousin doesn't know these things, and ignores any attempted redirection or informing, while reminding the adults that she has a "long history" of babysitting (mother's helper for 3 hours a week for 2 months 3 years ago, and 3 weeks this summer for 2 hours a day 3 days a week). She treats the 1st grader and kindergartener like they are toddlers, and the toddler like he's a newborn baby.
I was told I was a pain in the a** teenager too, so I'm pretty sure teen cousin is somehow karma payback. But I just don't have the energy to deal with it today. Or next week. Or next month. Or next year.
