Pissy and I need to vent about my aging mother
Late to this - I hope your mom’s arm has healed and she let you help.
Regarding the hoarding, I posted over the summer about cleaning out my dad’s barn that had several decades worth of car parts, machinery, tools, and wood. It was a humongous task, but I’m glad we did it. Dad had no choice as needed it cleaned out for structural repairs due to termite damage from all the stored wood and inability to get in there and spray for termites. Dad hated it but i gave him his options: us, strangers I’d pay to do it or roof collapses and he loses everything. He reluctantly chose us. He couldn’t physically help so had to watch us sort things into trash, scrap metal, keep piles.
From what I read, it’s best to tackle hoarding when that is all you’re dealing with. Many articles said to not wait until the person dies, which often happens, as you’re then dealing with grief as well. Cleaning out a hoarders home does cause anger and it’s difficult to deal with as it is. We also found treasures like Dad’s dog tags in a plastic grocery bag, so you do need to sort through things.
DS and I helped mum get half the barn cleaned out, then my sister arrived a couple weeks later and she got most of the 2nd half completed with mum. Maybe you could tag team with your brother? Or split it up over several trips. It’s certainly not a fun thing to do, but it has to get done. I felt less stressed knowing it was done. I’ve already told DS the next visit over the Summer will be tackling the outside area behind the barn. Mum can’t do it alone.
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