RE: One more clarification...
Interesting. While I have not been doing things as consciously as you, I do agree with much of what you say. And I also personally do not like lacy frilly things (except for very rare special occasions), fingernail paint (although I have grown fond of pedicures in the last few months...), make-up, etc.
As a result, DD's wardrobe is not very "girly". She has some boy clothes, but mainly cotton knit basics in a variety of colors. Some are pink, but most are not. The girliest things she has are Hanna playdresses, and she only has a couple of those.
My main goal (as far as clothing) has been to keep her as confortable as possible so that she does not feel limited in the type of play that she engages in because she is wearing things that are too constricting or too "nice" to get dirty. She loves to dress up, but to her that means wearing a cape and calling herself a princess (or a knight LOL), not putting on a fancy, frilly dress.
This is one of my favorite outfits for her right now:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/22797.jpg
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/22798.jpg
I like it because I think the colors are fun and she plays easily in it. Its a girl outfit, but not limiting because its girly.
As DD has grown older, it is absolutely fascinating for me to watch her learn about gender. To watch her become aware that there are physical differences, who is a boy vs a girl, how to tell, how is daddy different from mommy, etc.
I have not necessarily bought her gender neutral toys, but I like to make sure she has a variety of things around her that are of interest in helping her discover the world. She has dolls and a kitchen. She also likes bugs, dinosaurs, trains, and tools.
I find it disheartening in some ways that she has already told me that "some movies are for boys" or "some toys are for girls" when I have NEVER expressed such a feeling to her. She has even said "No! No!" when I have said there is no reason a girl cannot play with that "boy toy". Its amazing to me that she has gotten this from SOMEWHERE but it is not here at home.
Gender bias is so innate in our culture, it is so hard to try and protect your child from its influence. I am also curious as to how you and your family will continue to try and actively work against that (rather than in the somewhat passive way I have chosen).
Beth, mom to older DD (8/01) and younger DD (10/06) and always missing Leah (4/22 - 5/1/05)