Will DH do the right thing this time?

[C99]

I agree that if you want a little something, you should whack him over the head with hints. Sure, it takes some of the romance out, but boys are boys and they don't always think about these things. I can think of one time that I've been truly surprised by flowers -- and that was after nearly 4 years of "training"! Usually, I've hinted pretty heavily (or outrighr asked).

I think I started dropping "just gave birth gift" hints a year before I was even pregnant!

[etwahl]

You're right Neve, the biggest gift in the world would be to have Evan here, but I know (hope) he'll be here for the next baby. Instead I just focus on how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband. I really am lucky.

Your friend "the what did Steve get you one..." UGH!!! Don't you just love "friends" like that?! Actually, wouldn't you just love to slap them!!! She's probably the same type of friend who would say "oh, he didn't get you anything? Well my DH got me..."

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[gour0]

I'm definitely not expecting a gift! :D My 'gift' is being a SAHM and Benjamin! That said, I hope YOU get something! If you like, we can all call him and give him ideas! ;)

[mama2be]

These poor hubbies they don't stand a chance with all of us scheming against them do they :)...

We could just bombard him with emails and pictures of what you want...

I swear I've thought of a service that men could sign up for and that it would be my responsibility to help them keep track of birthdays etc...and to help them plan what to do and how to pull it off. Kind of like a personall shopper, but the service could involve literally sending the man bubble bath and 3 candles to have ready for his DW/SO "just because"... I think there would be a market for such a thing...they would certaintly find out quickly how happy their lives could be...

[masetane]

I didn't get anything either but until I saw this post I didn't know I should expect something. What he does do is come home early and play with the baby, does the laundry, makes dinner and I can be a SAHM. If it really bothers you not to receive a gift - just tell him in a tactful way that it would mean something to you if he could pick out something to commemorate the birth of your child. My husband is completely clueless in the gift giving arena so that's what I do. For occasions, I literally tell him what I would like. I know, not as romantic as all of us would like but what can I do? - he makes up for it in other ways. So my advice is either drop hints, be honest with him about it or just accept the fact that he will demonstrate love/appreciation in his own way! :)
caroline

[elvisfan]

>I'm definitely not expecting a gift! :D My 'gift' is being
>a SAHM and Benjamin! That said, I hope YOU get something!
>If you like, we can all call him and give him ideas! ;)
I am a sahm mom,too,and while I consider it to be a wonderul and rewarding choice, it's not a gift my dh gives to me.If anything,it's a gift I give to him.If he had to find childcare-and keep in mind, he's military-he'd be out of some big bucks(lol).
Just a thought.

[elvisfan]

>I didn't get anything either but until I saw this post I
>didn't know I should expect something. What he does do is
>come home early and play with the baby, does the laundry,
>makes dinner and I can be a SAHM. If it really bothers you
>not to receive a gift - just tell him in a tactful way that
>it would mean something to you if he could pick out
>something to commemorate the birth of your child. My
>husband is completely clueless in the gift giving arena so
>that's what I do. For occasions, I literally tell him what
>I would like. I know, not as romantic as all of us would
>like but what can I do? - he makes up for it in other ways.
> So my advice is either drop hints, be honest with him about
>it or just accept the fact that he will demonstrate
>love/appreciation in his own way! :)
>caroline
But the thing is-I know plenty of guys who "allow"(for lack of a better word)their wives to be sahms(which,imho,is pretty hard work) and who still get a little something for their wives after childbirth.
I've decided not to hint and just cut my losses. I mean, I can see why some of you say,"Hint. Tell him". But I don't want a gift if it's forced.that said, thanks for all of your advice:)

[gravymommy3]

I also did not get anything for giving birth. Well, that is not quite true. The last baby, my mother cleaned my house and had a home-cooked meal waiting for me when a I got home and she and my dad helped my husband chase after the older two. It was wonderful.

And come to think of it, I guess my husband's gift to me on the third child was he delivered her when she came a little sooner than expected and kept me calm during the whole process. He could have freaked out and fainted, and then where would I have been??

Amy

[brubeck]

Not to criticize, but just to put some perspective on this:

I will admit that my husband is not exactly a great gift-giver. He claims I am hard to buy for and he struggles to come up with present ideas for occasions such as Christmas and my birthday. To be fair, I am not a flowers and jewelry woman, so he can't just go out and buy that kind of stuff.

There have been many 'occasions' (Valentine's, anniversaries, the births of our two children, even a birthday or two) where I have not gotten anything at all, and of course this is disappointing, but I just think to myself that I'd rather have a husband who is wonderful all the time than one who just gives me presents a few days a year.

I knew when we got married that he was a lousy gift-giver, but he has so many other wonderful qualities (including being a terrific father who is willing to take over night feedings without a word of complaint) that this is minor in comparison to everything else. If there were something I really wanted he would have no problems with my going out and buying it for myself; he doesn't deny me. So even though occasionally I might miss out on a few surprises, I have the best gift of all: a fabulous life partner.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming. :-)

[gour0]

I quit my job eight months ago and money is very tight. I don't really do much of the cooking and cleaning thing either. So, right now DH is carrying most of the load. I know it will be a lot of work when ds comes into the picture, but I still feel happy that I can stay with him and not have to hand him off to strangers to raise. I actually don't like gifts, per se. I prefer to buy things for myself. :) And, right now the 'things' I want are all for ds. I just have to space them out over time.