Will DH do the right thing this time?

[peanut4us]

Tammy,

What a fabulous idea! I have been on bedrest for 2 weeks with 6 more to look forward to, and if anyone deserves some recognition for sacrifice, a great attitude, and general greatness, it's my hubby. So I am going to write him a thank you today!

THanks for the suggestion.

[mamahill]

Ah, this is true! I even tried the card when I was 8 months along. He just thought it was nice! A couple months after Ainsleigh's birth, I mentioned that he hadn't brought me flowers or anything in the hospital and the look on his face was priceless. He just stuttered, "I didn't?... Oh crap. Well why didn't you say something?!" Duh, that's not the point! I laughed about it and now just think it's funny. Besides, it gives me something to hold over his head... ;)

[deenass]

You might want to enlist someone's help in encouraging your husband to "do the right thing." My mother in law told my husband he should buy me a gift for when the baby was born (I didn't ask her to, but if you have the kind of relationship with yours that you could it's worth a try).

My boss' mother actually picked out a gift (jewelery) she knew her daughter would like and called the "dad to be" about it ... made it easy for him and she got a beautiful gift!

Good luck .. with the birth (and the husband!)

[phoeman]

ok I get the gifts on birthdays, Christmas, Valentines anniversary and soon mothers days but I guess I just wonder why women expect a gift? I know this will not make me popular on this board but shouldn't the child be gift enough. I know labor and pregnancy are hard on you, but it is no cake walk for us either, no we do not get the physical pain but we have just as many emotional issues as you guys, do you plan on getting your DH a gift?

[Melanie]

I hadn't thought of it until I saw it on an episode of Baby Story. I did figure new mom's always get flowers (I got none). However, having been placed on a strict diet until childbirth Dh got me truffles (YUM!) and my mom got me a basket full of snacks and yummy food. I got my Dh a ring with a stone he'd been wanting and call it his "Daddy ring."

Mother's Day fell during the still nauseous part of pregnancy, if you have to earn a gift (which I'm not sure about) that certainly earns it! I got a mother/child necklace.


Mommy to Jonah

[mamahill]

>no we do not get the physical
>pain but we have just as many emotional issues as you guys,
>do you plan on getting your DH a gift?

#1 - I DID get DH a card. (just like I did when we moved into our new house, adopted our cats, and every now and then just for fun I send one to his office)

#2 - just as many emotional issues? um, I don't think so. I know that hormones are an enigma to most men, but I think it would be safer for you to not even pretend like the emotional issues are equal.

#3 - "Get the physical pain"? You make it sound like a privelege. And while I am honored to be a parent, it does not feel good to push something the size of a watermelon out something the size of a grape. Add to that, that my tailbone was bent over the course of the 12 hour labor, and I think I deserve some flowers or something. I know men who are reduced to tears over a kidney stone. (and, should DH ever pass one, I would most CERTAINLY bring him something)

Obviously some hormones flared up here (pms, mamahill?), but I just wanted to say better to safe than sorry, eh?

[etwahl]

Sarah, You're not Canadian, are you eh? :)

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[LisaS]

Very well put.

Having a baby is a MAJOR milestone in a woman's (and mans, too) life - if you'd give a gift for for a birthday or anniversary which happens yearly - how could you not give something to celebrate this huge momentous occasion. Spouses give gifts for graduations, most give eachother gifts on their wedding day - all once-in-a-lifetime major events. Why wouldn't you give a gift on the birth of your child - also a major event that happens once-twice-thrice or more in a lifetime - each time, its just as momentous.

All of my friends have received a "baby" gift upon the birth of each of their children (or if not a gift due to financial or other circumstances, then an IOU from their DH for a gift at a later date). Most have gotten some type of jewlery, I know 1 mom who got a few months with a personal trainer to get her back in shape - at her rquest - she decided she'd rather have her body back quickly than diamonds.

That said, those are MAJOR presents, which aren't necessary, but some form of acknowledgement IS - even if its just flowers a card or a something small but meaningful - the fact that DH respects it as a gift-worthy occasion is whats most important to most women I know.

[mamahill]

Haha, maybe at heart? I've only ever been to Vancouver, but loved what I saw!

[jojo2324]

Perhaps it is a little much to expect a gift from our hubbies after BIRTHING a child. I applaud the women who are content with the gift of a baby and a devoted husband. And not that I am not content...It just would have been nice if the thought had occurred spontaneously, without any prompting from me or an conveniently placed book. And honestly, I love my significant other, but I doubt that either one of these would have helped spur him along in the gift department. He's just that kind of guy. And I love him, so I am fine with that part of his personality. (He *did* bring me flowers, BTW.)

But thinking back on it, no, I don't think DH *quite* understood the effects of pregnancy and labor. Unlike me, he was not forced to deliver an eight and a half pound baby in a 100+ degree heat wave. Unlike me, he was allowed to eat while I was not, and did! While I was dilating! At a restaurant! With friends! He claims he would have passed out otherwise, but *I* didn't pass out, what excuse does he have? Unlike me, his private areas did not rip and need to be stitched back together. Unlike me, his nipples did not bleed and crack and ooze as his breasts grew to mammoth proportions while a small, screaming piranha lunged at them. Constantly. And unlike me, he has not had said screaming piranha attached to him after ripping through said private areas. But, hey! That's my job. And I do it with relatively little complaining...sort of. ;)

Obviously, to each his/her own. I am perfectly content with my family and the joy they bring me. I am not looking for jewels or anything, just a nice card and even a single flower would be nice. Anything to let me know that the wheels are turning up there. Just something to ponder while the arrival of your child draws nearer.