The most offensive question asked me. . .

[MartiesMom2B]

How much weight did you gain? Along Zen's post with moronic questions, I am asked this a lot. I even refused to look at the scale at the end of my pregnancy and to be honest, I forgot how much I weighed in the first place. Why do people want to know this? Yuck. If someone has asked you this, how did you respond?

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03
http://www.mcdyer.com/MartieSurasky.htm

[brubeck]

My MIL asked me this ALL the time, especially in the second pregnancy (probably because I gained a LOT with the first one). My standard answer would be, "Oh less than I had at this point with Amy!". In the first pregnancy it's harder. You can say, "About what my doctor thinks is okay." and leave it at that.

[nigele]

Sonia,

The day I got home from the hospital, my stepmom said to me "you still have a big belly!" JUST what I needed to hear! To make it worse, the video camera was running and I'll have to hear that comment for years to come.

[mamahill]

I had a friend who freely admitted she gained 70 pounds, and assured me that I'd gain that much, and then have an extra 15 pounds hanging on 9 months after. I had the satisfaction of seeing her 3 months PP where she observed I looked smaller than pre-pg. I just shrugged and said I didn't keep track of such things (yeah right!).

My mom told me that my little brother (10 years old at the time), saw a woman whose baby was only a month old and observed that she still looked pregnant. My mom said, "Well the stomach doesn't shrink back to normal right away." He said, "Sarah's did. She looked normal leaving the hospital." Awwwww, how nice. He got a big birthday present. For the record, I was NOT "normal" and was retaining a large amount of fluids. But yay for the kids for saying that!

[gravymommy3]

My mother used to ride me hard about how much I gained with Grayson (she was very weight-obsessed and to be honest, I was fat when I got pregnant with Grayson - ok, let's be honest - was fat with all three and still am - but, hey, that's a diffent story for different day!) Anyway, she would hound me about how much weight I gained after each OB appointment. It got to the point where I refused to discuss it with her (and I only gained 15 lbs with each child - horrible morning sickness kept the gaining to a minimun but then I really could not afford to gain a bunch). She rode me hard about the weight with Avery also. After she died and I got pregnant with Hayden, my step-sister took up her battle. I would go over to her house and she would say, "My God you're big." I am just hoping that when I finally wean Hayden, I can lose some of the weight.

Oh well, at least DH does not comment on it... :)

[bluej]

Ugh, I'm just dreading talking to my MIL after I have this baby. Thankfully I don't have to talk to her often now (I've seen her twice and talked to her on the phone twice in the past nine months) and so I don't have to deal w/ the weight question all that often. When I first told her I was pregnant she told me I should diet like she did when she was pregnant if I didn't want another big baby. My last one was 9 lbs 8 oz. I just know if I have another big baby (which I'm quite certain I will) she'll tell me that I should have taken her advice and dieted throughout the pregnancy. If for some reason I have a small or hey, even average baby, she'll think that I took her advice and dieted. She's a former nurse and I just cannot get over that she's more obsessed w/ how big of a baby I have than about the baby's health and my health. She drives me nuts. Thankfully DH realizes this and he handles most of her phone calls. Who knows what all she asks him and what he tells her. I'm just thankful that he leaves me out of it! Honestly, other than MIL, no one else asks about weight gain. I'm stunned that anyone would ask such a thing or that they would care. I have no real response other than maybe saying how much you gained (make up a number) and then ask them how much they've gained over the past year. I'm sure that would shut them up quickly. Then again, maybe not.

Jen

[gravymommy3]

You know, my mom was a nurse and she went on and on about how her doctor would not let her gain more than 15 lbs and how all her babies were small (well,duh!) blah, blah, blah. You would think those in the medical field would know better!

[Caitlins Mommy]

Basicly I just feed up with people asking how much did I gain or telling me I still looked pregnant.So I just came back with a smartallic reply like "Oh I gained 100,000 lbs".Usually that would shut them up really quick.


And I can't belive that family members who were nurses told you to diet.Shame on them!They should know better that any doctor would tell you not to diet while pregnant.


Jennifer mommy to Caitlin Hope 9/28/96
Trying to give Caitlin a brother or sister

[Denyse]

Don't you hate it when people just ask that so bluntly? I always just told them honestly. And even though I gained a healthy amount of weight (19lbs, total) they still would gasp and make comments! So rude! I had this one lady who always said "Well, remember, *I* only gained 2 lbs with my son!" Um, ok, if that's true, I wouldn't brag about it. That's not exactly the healthiest thing during pregnancy.

Just let it roll off your back. There will be a whole slew of other rude things you're going to have to deal with (ie, unwanted parenting advice from TOTAL STRANGERS) so it's best to just learn to grit your teeth, paste on a fake smile and say something along the lines of "Just enough to nourish my little sweetie" It sucks but I guess it goes with the territory.

[jubilee]

I gained about 40 pounds with Logan, and about 60-70 with Jacob- so I got asked "How much have you gained?" all the time. It is offensive when you are sensitive to weight, especially when the next line they say is normally "you look so huge!" I wish people wouldn't think that pregnant women don't have feelings.