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  1. #1
    flagger Guest

    Default I just want to scream at

    "They" who tell me that we must put Cocoa to sleep on her back because the risk of SIDS is lower. Will someone tell "they" that my wife and I both slept on our stomach and lived to tell the tale? Will someone tell the Back to Sleep nazis that "they" were not in my house the past two nights as Cocoa was up every 15 minutes and that when I put her down on her stomach at 0200 this morning she slept until 0530? Will someone also remind them that everyone has to do what works for them?

    Cocoa plain and simple sleeps for longer more restful periods when she is on her stomach. When she rests mom and dad rest and that makes for one helluva a happy family. Quite frankly for our situation the risk of SIDS is so infintesimal that we find that more restful periods of sleep for all is worth the gamble. Sorry if I sound cynical as I love my daughter, but if her number gets punched and it is her time to go there really isn't a [email protected] thing we can do about it as far as SIDS is concerned.

    Argghhhhh!

  2. #2
    Jenmv Guest

    Default RE: I just want to scream at

    I agree sometimes you have to weigh the risk and make educated decisions based on what works best for you, however for people with a history of sleep apnea problems in their family I would be more diligent about putting their babies to sleep on their backs. The first time dh saw my mother bouncing our dd on her lap face down to soothe her nighttime fussies I thought he was going to go nuts. He was so freaked out by all of the back to sleep info that he was afraid to have her on her stomach even when she was awake!! I have heard other mothers admit that they let their kids sleep on their stomach when that was the only thing that soothed them. My dd typically slept better on her back or side so it was never really an issue for me but I will admit to using a hand knit blanket in the crib. She is always kicking it off anyway, that is why I don't use the sleep sacks as she gets too sweaty in anything fleece. I'm sure 20 years from now their will be something else that we should never do that we all do now.

    I was sent home with a little reminder bracelet to put on my baby that said "back to sleep, don't shake me or smoke around me". Do you really think someone who is so out of control as to shake a baby is going to stop and read a bracelet?

  3. #3
    jojo2324 Guest

    Default RE: I just want to scream at

    I agree, sometimes you just have to weigh the risks. To each his own. I have pictures of me sleeping in my crib, on my belly, with a huge down comforter covering me. I am here. BUT it is true that the SIDS rates have dropped significantly since the "Back-to-Sleep" campaign started.

    I, for one, was diligent about Gannon sleeping on his back. I was so freaked out by the idea of SIDS. (But then, I am a complete and total worrywart.) I went so far as to flip him over, which would inevitably wake him up. But that was a risk I was willing to take. And I can tell you now, even with Gannon sleeping on his belly (I am not diligent anymore), that my sleep has not been restful. :D

    If you want a different perspective on the situation, go to the SIDS boards on ParentsPlace.

  4. #4
    liya Guest

    Default RE: I just want to scream at

    ITA Arian sleeps with me and hubby in my bed, there has been no probs with the SIDS factor and he sleeps in his back in his side and on his tummy...whatever hes in the mood for that day...it saves my bad mood for not sleeping and my sanity...lol

  5. #5
    flagger Guest

    Default RE: I just want to scream at

    I guess our feeling is looking at a 40% reduction in the amount of SIDS still doesn't guarantee that SIDS will not take place if the baby is sleeping on his back or side. If it was a 100% reduction, then we might buy into that argument.

    However, we feel the risk of ALL the factors in SIDS cases do not apply and a restful sleep for all three is worth the risk. I was merely venting at those who try to make us feel guily that we are "killing" our baby by letting her sleep on her stomach.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    9,114

    Default RE: I just want to scream at

    OK- Just my two cents here. I'm not looking to tick you off at all, but:

    As a parent that has already lost a child - I pray and hope that you would never have to experience that pain.

    I personally keep Sophie on her back. She's used to it at this point and prefers it - although she recently started pulling herself to her side, so who knows.

    Maybe the solution is to simply not tell people what position you're putting the baby to sleep in.

    Believe me, I COMPLETELY and TOTALLY understand what it's like to have a screaming child on your hands when all you want to do is sleep. We've all been there. Babies as young as Cocoa don't sleep regularly. In fact, for the first three MONTHS Sophie routinely didn't go to sleep till until 2am **at the earliest**. Actually, on several occasions, it was really closer to 4:30-5am.

    We're just looking out for Cocoa's best interest!!

    Sweet dreams to all

    -m
    Wife to Jonathan
    Mom to Sophia 12/02 and Amelia 12/04

  7. #7
    Denyse Guest

    Default RE: I just want to scream at

    I, too, have lost a child and have to agree with m. For me, extra sleep is just not worth the risk. DH and I struggled in those early days, as well. Brett, much like Cocoa, would not sleep longer than 15 minutes laying down. We spent much of the first 4 weeks of his life, sleeping in shifts, while the other sat in the comfy chair w/ Brett on our chest. It was tough, I won't lie but very much worth it to us. We were persistent in always putting DS on his back and one day, it worked. We made sure the top of his head was touching the end of the bassinet and voila! Sleep for 2 hours! From there, it just gets easier and easier. At 4 months, he sleeps 3-4 hour stretches and always on his back. For me, the struggle was worth it to have that extra assurance that we are doing everything possible to keep ds alive and healthy.
    Good luck. These first weeks are hard but it does get easier with time!

    I wanted to edit this to add, I definitely don't want to sound like I'm criticizing. Just stating my thoughts on the matter.

  8. #8
    flagger Guest

    Default RE: I just want to scream at

    My condolences for both of your losses.

    However I was merely using this forum for what it is for, to bitch and moan. My bitch was a result of a few responses back to updated pictures we sent out to our email list (not posted on her website) that included two photos of her sleeping peacefully on her stomach. Two people elected to send us links to the SIDS Alliance and one even told us how allowing her to sleep like that could kill her.

    Our sleep is not what is important, her restful sleep however is. We have learned that she truly sleeps longer and more restfully on her stomach.

    I just want to add that though I did not take offense, I cannot remember anyone ever being told: Maybe the solution is: "not to talk to your MIL about your crib purchases, or stop reading ePregnancy, or stop watching The View, etc."

    Our personal opinion on this issue is back sleeping is not a 100% guarantee that SIDS can be prevented. As such, as our child prefers tummy sleeping over back and side sleeping that happens to be what is in the best interest for her and for us. We can all just peacefully agree to disagree.

  9. #9
    kurosch Guest

    Default ... no flames

    ...

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    8,856

    Default RE: I just want to scream at

    Scream all you want, but "they" are right. The risk of SIDS is lower when babies sleep on their backs.

    One theory of SIDS is that some babies sleep so soundly that they stop breathing, that they literally forget to breathe. This is one reason that babies who cosleep are at lower risk of SIDS, they are believed to follow the same sleep pattern as the adults in the bed.

    But I do agree that everyone should do their own research and make the decisions that are best for them and accept the risks that they are comfortable with.

    ...Karen
    Jacob Nathaniel 2/27/91
    Logan Elizabeth 3/25/03
    ...Karen
    ds 1991
    dd 2003
    dd 2008 now home from Taiwan!

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