My mother is still INSANE!

[farsk]

Hello everyone!

You may remember my post about my mother and MIL going completely insane. It seems my mother has continued the insanity after a very brief period of supportive sanity. She started out as saying everything we wanted for our first child was a luxury...didn't really understand why my 1974 "wagon wheels and wigwams" crib was not "good enough" for our daughter, etc. etc. ad nausium. When I suggested that if she wanted to buy something for the baby, she could buy her bedding from PBK, she replied that she would never buy anything from PBK for a child. Fast forward to two weeks ago, and she had lots of cute accessories to match my nursery (from PBK) shipped home after a shopping trip. Go figure! I thought things were looking up. Then....

She wanted to know why the stroller I registered for was so expensive (Peg Perego). I explained that through research, I found it to be the best value. Actually, the comments she made this morning are nowhere near as hurtful as some she has made before, but now I am second guessing my registry choices, etc.

Do I just have a compulsive need for my mother's approval still? Are her points valid? Has the hormones of pregnancy completely taken over my brain so that I don't know my a$$ from a hole in the ground?

Thanks for reading my rant. I look forward to your replies!

-Shannon
(Mom to Ellen, EDD 7/28/2003)

[Marisa6826]

Shannon-

I'm sorry that your mother is being so incredibly unreasonable. Mine was pretty useless when it came to baby stuff too. I just did everything on my own, ignored her, and hoped for the best.

The bottom line is that it's YOUR baby, you've done the research, you've made your choices. My MIL tried to get us to use a 30 year old crib. My mother didn't understand why we needed to pay such and such for a stroller, crib, etc. I let it go in one ear and out the other - which is VERY difficult for me (pregnant or not!).

I would just use the ostrich technique and bury your head till Ellen appears!

Chin up, the end is in sight!

-m

[nitaghei]

Shannon,

It's hard, but just try to ignore your mother. Your mother's approval is a big deal, right when you're going to be a mom yourself (and the hormones don't exactly help :)).

Having said that - remember, YOU are the one that's done the research, and you're the one that going to be pushing the stroller, it's your child that will be comfortable (or not), you're the one that's going to be living with your choices - and it's YOUR money.

So stick with your choices!!!

And enjoy using everything once Ellen's here.

Nita

[AngelaS]

Repeat after me: "Mom this is what we want, it's our baby, it's our choice". :)

And don't feel bad about it!! You're entitled to have things YOUR way! She had them her way with you and now it's YOUR turn to have it YOUR way! :D

[momathome]

Oh, my. Take it from me and many others like me who made the mistake of buying strollers on the cheap only to have to ditch them after only a few months of use - I'TS NOT WORTH IT!!! I have owned 12 (yes, 12!!!) strollers over the last 5 years and if I had bought my Peg Pliko from the beginning, I know stroller total would have been a lot less than 12! It's smart to pay for better quality products that will last over the long haul - it's no fun having to constantly rebuy everything! When your mothers questions the decisions you are making, just tell her that you will take it under consideration, smile, and change the subject! You are the one who has to live with the decisions you make, not her. Good luck!
-Lauren

[Lori in NJ]

Shannon,

I feel your pain! My mom has the same philosophy on the crib thing-- "this crib got me through 3 children safely, what's the problem?" Well, obviously nothing dating back to the 70's but if you think we're going to use MY child to find out...

Unfortunately I think it's womanly nature to seek our mother's approval though I can tell you now that I've seen my mother's true colors through my subsequent pregnancy (lost my son--1st preg at 23 weeks) it's SAD that this is the woman I'm hoping to "win" over. I had a bbq for my b-day when I hit 28 wks (HUGE milestone) and she proceeded to tell ALL of my friends who, of course, knew what happened, what a HORRIBLE baby I was. I didn't have the heart to embarass her and tell her how lucky she was that her first child was still alive.

The icing on the cake was on Sun when she called me to tell me she was taking a trip to Arizona this summer. Okay, FABULOUS! Then she told me she was leaving on July 25th--I told her I'd let her know if her grandchild is a girl or a boy... Here she lives in NJ (an hour away) and my cerclage is being removed on July 21st (thus increasing my chances of going into labor). Adios!!! (Of course she then cancelled her trip and now you KNOW I'll go till mid-August but that's besides the point...)

Hope this makes YOUR mom look a bit saner...;)

Lori