In need of moral support re: In-Laws (very very long)

[khakismom]

Bethany, I'm so sorry to have to go thru this. I heartily agree with all the previous posters--it is simply their loss of a close relationship with Wilkes. Just know this--we all make choices every day, every minute about what is important to us, about what to do with our time, and what to do with our money. They are making a choice to not come visit you, but instead visit BIL and SIL. They made a choice to spend their time driving to AR instead of spending it with you and DH at your wedding. So remain strong and don't let anyone (DH, MIL, etc) make excuses for their behaviour (like "we don't have the $$$ to come visit"), because, like a previous poster said, you can't change other people, only how you react to them.

I am a pro at this IL stuff--my MIL can't "afford" to buy a ticket to come visit us, yet can buy a new car. And she doesn't have the vacation time to come visit us, yet can spend a week in MI researching her family tree. It's all what's important to her and apparently, we aren't. (We lived 3 hours from her for 6 years, and ini tha time, visited us 3x. That's it.) It's taken me a few years, but I have finally come to grips with it. And the only person missing out is her. She will be missing out on a beautiful relationship with her granddaughters. :)

(Sorry this sequed into my own travails!) Good luck with it all! And just spend your time loving your new baby!! :)

P.S. I *love* his name!! :)


...Maureen

Mom to
Kathleen 3/22/01
Ellen 6/4/03

[bunnisa]

Thank you all so very much for your kind responses. I think I really just needed to get it off of my chest. DH has been supportive, although he has the advantage of not taking their actions (or lack thereof) personally. Guess he's had his whole life to get used to them.

He did have a conversation with his mother after the whole wedding incident. She avoided his calls for months because she knew he was going to talk to her about it!

<Sigh> I feel sad for them. It will be such a tragedy if they come to the end of their lives and realize that they never invested in their families. After all, what's more important than that?

BTW, we are due to go to my nephew's dedication in October. I am sure they will all make that event!! I feel so angry over the whole thing that I feel like they don't deserve to see our baby then. I know that's totally ridiculous, I know I'm feeling irrational. I'm just so tired of all the effort being on our part (we've been to TX twice and AR 3X in the last 18 months) with no reciprocation.

Thanks so much for listening to me. It makes me feel a lot better to have your support.

Bethany
It's a Boy!
William Eric (Wilkes)
born 6/16/03

[jlcana]

I recommend visiting www.motherinlawstories.com-great support website-very much like this one. It has helped me many times-I feel your pain!