"Do you not do as much work around the house as you used to?"

[miki]

That is actually what my husband said to me while I happened to be checking my email after DD had gone to sleep and he was dumping a basket of clean laundry onto the bed expecting me to fold it. Actually what he said was, "Is it my imagination or do you not do as much work around the house as you used to?"

This is after I was up 3x the previous night with DD while he slept. After I dressed her for the day and fed her all her baby food meals. After I played with her and chased her around for hours keeping her away from various things. After I put DD to bed. After I made our dinner. During the same day, *H had 2 naps, read the newspaper, and did the laundry. I usually do the laundry during the week while he's at work but this week I just didn't because I've been dragging from getting up at 5am. So because he did the laundry (which is not really so hard because all you have to do is take the dirty stuff from our bedroom down the hall to the laundry room), all of a sudden I am not doing my share of the chores? This from the guy that leaves DD's litte dishes in the sink for me to wash even though he's washed something else that he was using.

And he thinks it's odd that I'm not thinking about having #2 in the near future.

[papal]

Grrrrrr to your #h... sometimes men don't realize they are thinking out LOUD do they?? grrrrr.... clueless clueless clueless!

[AngelaS]

My dh has made the same kind of comments. He had no clue either. He kinda got a clue one day when I left with a girlfriend (he set it up for my birthday) and he had the girls for 8 hours AND made supper. Funny, the house wasn't spotless when I returned....

[Marisa6826]

Oh MAN. It's a good thing he's not married to me, otherwise he would have been clobbered saying that!! Are you still talking to him?

Congrats on your level of restraint. Seriously.

Was he being sarcastic or serious? I don't do nearly as much as I used to do. Part of it is that we're in a MUCH bigger house, the other is that Sophie's older, more active and I'm preggo. Jonathan doesn't have a problem with it. He knows that my job is to raise Sophie, not do an impression of June freaking Cleaver.

I suggest going on strike for a day or two just so that your DH can see what you actually do all day. Go out with girlfriends shopping, then dinner and a movie - then ask him how productive his day's been.

Good grief!! I"m ticked off at your DH and I don't even know him!! ;)

Chin up, Wen!

-m

[janeybwild]

I second the strike! I had to work outside of the house part of this weekend, and DH was gleefully planning all the things he would do with DD and the chores he would tackle around the house. Needless to say, we were left cleaning the kitchen, emptying the dishwasher, picking up toys etc. after she went to bed last night. DH's comment was that he couldn’t understand why he didn't get it all done….I made it look easy…..Ha! Strike away I say or plan some time away. He’ll have to get it then surely?!

[hez]

I feel for you-- I'm only home 1 day during the 'work' week, but I still feel guilty when all I've gotten 'done' is a shower and lots of care for DS on that day.

Has your *H stayed home for a day with DD without you? It can be so eye-opening for them. DH stayed home this morning with DS (I'm home this afternoon, darn conjunctivitis!). DH got a whopping one load of laundry folded. He realized today why taking a shower for me is such an accomplishement on my day off-- DS cried the whole time & pulled the shower curtain away so he could see DH. DH ended up waiting 'til I got home so he could shower in peace.

I hope he sees the light very soon, before you have to go on strike :)

[Jacksonvol]

the tacky answer is: "It is not your imagination, I AM doing more work around the house while caring for DD." There are studies out there that have tracked the division of the workload in a family and the depressing thing is that on average, females still do a great deal more of the work in many families. It finally hit my DH how hard it is to work in the home & care for DD when I had to go out of town on a business trip for 2 days. Since then, we have had no tacky comments, but he still gets his shorts bunched every now and then when the house is not where he thinks it should be. That is when I tell him he is free to mop, vaccuum and cook to his little heart's desire or hire a cleaning lady.
To paraphrase Will Smith (a/k/a Fresh Prince), sometimes Husbands just don't understand.
Lisa

[mamahill]

"Is it my imagination or are you not as sensitive as you used to be?"

Ugh - that kind of statement would have received NO reply from me. Just a dirty look. Let me guess, then he wants to be intimate. Yeah right - you've got me all ready to go.

[miki]

If DD was weaned and he said something like that, I'd just pick up my bag and take off for the day. He really has very little idea how much work it is taking care of her because he only sees her mornings and weekends. I had the luxury of going to Walmart the other night after DD went to sleep. When I got back 90 min. later she had woken up and was screaming. I was met at the door with a, "I don't know what to do. She just keeps crying when I put her down." I'm just biding my time for a few more months. Once I am sure that DD will drink from a cup and eat with Daddy, Mommy is going to have her own day out on a regular basis. Starting at the crack of dawn when DD gets up.

[candybomiller]

Sounds like we can definitely mount up a posse and kick some *H booty. That's just absurd.

Any chance of pumping a leaving a bottle? I pumped almost exclusively with ds and was soooo happy that dh could help with feedings. Something to think about.

((HUGS)) to you and major props for not hitting him over the head. Or poisoning his dinner. Or dying his undies pink. Or putting nair in his shampoo.