Hello Everyone!
Sorry that I have not been back to these boards in over two weeks. I just didn't have the energy to do anything. But I know how much I treasure my cyber-friendships and would want to know what happened.
That next evening we had a member of the clergy come to our home and spend an hour and a half with us. We decided that he would stay at home. He broke it off with her that same night, though he did call her the next morning "to say goodbye" and she asked that he not call her anymore and that she would not answer if he did (I guess this is the way you treat someone that you are supposedly "in love" with----NOT). She also told her husband. Their house is up for sale.
He is extremely ambivilant. I have picked up the book "Not Just Friends" --thanks for the tip from this board!-- and it has given me real insight into our relationship, what happened, why, etc. I have read that withdrawl symptoms of addiction are typically the most intense for the first three weeks, and maybe even longer
We are seeing a marriage and family therapist weekly---for me, I want to save the marriage because, lying scum that he is, I am still in love with him. He wants to see if he can start being "the real me" and then decide if he wants to stay married.
I'm doing everything I know how to do to make it easy for him to relax (please don't berate me.....I know it is not my fault.......but I do recognize the ways in which I contributed to make an affair a possibility in his mind.....) It is extremely difficult to watch him moap over her instead of being sorry and remorseful over what he has done.
What I need from you, my friends, is support. I DO NOT NEED attacks, "well I would", and "you shouldn'ts" Truth is before this happened, I would have been the first in the "call your lawyer" school of thought....but until it has happened to you you, you simply do not know how you will react. I want to save my marriage and my family. I want to be happy again. I want him to be happy with us. I do not want Ellen to grow up with divorced parents. To lay your mind at ease, we have always maintained separate financials and credit cards and have very little held jointly.
If you pray, please include me in your prayers.
Thanks