Regretting my vaginal birth

[jasabo]

Wow, you've had a really rough time. I'm so sorry when I hear stories like yours b/c I can't even imagine how much harder it makes the whole process of becoming a mom. Not only do you have to deal with the stress of having a newborn, but you also have to deal with all that pain and the other issues for such a long time.

I was an L&D nurse before I had my twins and, as I'm sure you know, there can be problems with vaginal deliveries as well as c-sections. You can never know ahead of time how your delivery will go, no matter which method you have. I can imagine how easy it is to second-guess your decision to have a vaginal birth, but please try to remember that you could have had problems if you'd chosen to have a c-section too.

Related to vaginal tearing - I watched an episode of "Dr. 90210" on the E Channel the other night and they had a woman who was having her labia repaired. Like you, she had a really hard birth and ended up tearing very badly in four places. It sounded terribly painful. Her baby was almost a year old and she wasn't able to have sex anymore b/c it was so painful for her, and she also had other pain issues. The plastic surgery was very successful and she was extremely happy 6 weeks post op. They've profiled a few labia repairs on that show, so I guess it's becoming much more commonplace. Not that you asked, but if the tears are still an issue for you, you might consider seeing a good plastic surgeon. It's even possible that your insurance might cover the repair if it's medically necessary.

Big hugs to you.

[jasabo]

Wow, you've had a really rough time. I'm so sorry when I hear stories like yours b/c I can't even imagine how much harder it makes the whole process of becoming a mom. Not only do you have to deal with the stress of having a newborn, but you also have to deal with all that pain and the other issues for such a long time.

I was an L&D nurse before I had my twins and, as I'm sure you know, there can be problems with vaginal deliveries as well as c-sections. You can never know ahead of time how your delivery will go, no matter which method you have. I can imagine how easy it is to second-guess your decision to have a vaginal birth, but please try to remember that you could have had problems if you'd chosen to have a c-section too.

Related to vaginal tearing - I watched an episode of "Dr. 90210" on the E Channel the other night and they had a woman who was having her labia repaired. Like you, she had a really hard birth and ended up tearing very badly in four places. It sounded terribly painful. Her baby was almost a year old and she wasn't able to have sex anymore b/c it was so painful for her, and she also had other pain issues. The plastic surgery was very successful and she was extremely happy 6 weeks post op. They've profiled a few labia repairs on that show, so I guess it's becoming much more commonplace. Not that you asked, but if the tears are still an issue for you, you might consider seeing a good plastic surgeon. It's even possible that your insurance might cover the repair if it's medically necessary.

Big hugs to you.

[jasabo]

Wow, you've had a really rough time. I'm so sorry when I hear stories like yours b/c I can't even imagine how much harder it makes the whole process of becoming a mom. Not only do you have to deal with the stress of having a newborn, but you also have to deal with all that pain and the other issues for such a long time.

I was an L&D nurse before I had my twins and, as I'm sure you know, there can be problems with vaginal deliveries as well as c-sections. You can never know ahead of time how your delivery will go, no matter which method you have. I can imagine how easy it is to second-guess your decision to have a vaginal birth, but please try to remember that you could have had problems if you'd chosen to have a c-section too.

Related to vaginal tearing - I watched an episode of "Dr. 90210" on the E Channel the other night and they had a woman who was having her labia repaired. Like you, she had a really hard birth and ended up tearing very badly in four places. It sounded terribly painful. Her baby was almost a year old and she wasn't able to have sex anymore b/c it was so painful for her, and she also had other pain issues. The plastic surgery was very successful and she was extremely happy 6 weeks post op. They've profiled a few labia repairs on that show, so I guess it's becoming much more commonplace. Not that you asked, but if the tears are still an issue for you, you might consider seeing a good plastic surgeon. It's even possible that your insurance might cover the repair if it's medically necessary.

Big hugs to you.

[jasabo]

Wow, you've had a really rough time. I'm so sorry when I hear stories like yours b/c I can't even imagine how much harder it makes the whole process of becoming a mom. Not only do you have to deal with the stress of having a newborn, but you also have to deal with all that pain and the other issues for such a long time.

I was an L&D nurse before I had my twins and, as I'm sure you know, there can be problems with vaginal deliveries as well as c-sections. You can never know ahead of time how your delivery will go, no matter which method you have. I can imagine how easy it is to second-guess your decision to have a vaginal birth, but please try to remember that you could have had problems if you'd chosen to have a c-section too.

Related to vaginal tearing - I watched an episode of "Dr. 90210" on the E Channel the other night and they had a woman who was having her labia repaired. Like you, she had a really hard birth and ended up tearing very badly in four places. It sounded terribly painful. Her baby was almost a year old and she wasn't able to have sex anymore b/c it was so painful for her, and she also had other pain issues. The plastic surgery was very successful and she was extremely happy 6 weeks post op. They've profiled a few labia repairs on that show, so I guess it's becoming much more commonplace. Not that you asked, but if the tears are still an issue for you, you might consider seeing a good plastic surgeon. It's even possible that your insurance might cover the repair if it's medically necessary.

Big hugs to you.

[jasabo]

Wow, you've had a really rough time. I'm so sorry when I hear stories like yours b/c I can't even imagine how much harder it makes the whole process of becoming a mom. Not only do you have to deal with the stress of having a newborn, but you also have to deal with all that pain and the other issues for such a long time.

I was an L&D nurse before I had my twins and, as I'm sure you know, there can be problems with vaginal deliveries as well as c-sections. You can never know ahead of time how your delivery will go, no matter which method you have. I can imagine how easy it is to second-guess your decision to have a vaginal birth, but please try to remember that you could have had problems if you'd chosen to have a c-section too.

Related to vaginal tearing - I watched an episode of "Dr. 90210" on the E Channel the other night and they had a woman who was having her labia repaired. Like you, she had a really hard birth and ended up tearing very badly in four places. It sounded terribly painful. Her baby was almost a year old and she wasn't able to have sex anymore b/c it was so painful for her, and she also had other pain issues. The plastic surgery was very successful and she was extremely happy 6 weeks post op. They've profiled a few labia repairs on that show, so I guess it's becoming much more commonplace. Not that you asked, but if the tears are still an issue for you, you might consider seeing a good plastic surgeon. It's even possible that your insurance might cover the repair if it's medically necessary.

Big hugs to you.

[jasabo]

Wow, you've had a really rough time. I'm so sorry when I hear stories like yours b/c I can't even imagine how much harder it makes the whole process of becoming a mom. Not only do you have to deal with the stress of having a newborn, but you also have to deal with all that pain and the other issues for such a long time.

I was an L&D nurse before I had my twins and, as I'm sure you know, there can be problems with vaginal deliveries as well as c-sections. You can never know ahead of time how your delivery will go, no matter which method you have. I can imagine how easy it is to second-guess your decision to have a vaginal birth, but please try to remember that you could have had problems if you'd chosen to have a c-section too.

Related to vaginal tearing - I watched an episode of "Dr. 90210" on the E Channel the other night and they had a woman who was having her labia repaired. Like you, she had a really hard birth and ended up tearing very badly in four places. It sounded terribly painful. Her baby was almost a year old and she wasn't able to have sex anymore b/c it was so painful for her, and she also had other pain issues. The plastic surgery was very successful and she was extremely happy 6 weeks post op. They've profiled a few labia repairs on that show, so I guess it's becoming much more commonplace. Not that you asked, but if the tears are still an issue for you, you might consider seeing a good plastic surgeon. It's even possible that your insurance might cover the repair if it's medically necessary.

Big hugs to you.

[shilo]

while i wouldn't say i 'regret' my vaginal birth, i will offer you a ton of empathy from another BTDT mom. i don't think i was really prepared for the magnitude of the hurdles i would face post vaginal delivery, as everything i'd read was always about how recovery after a vaginal delivery is easier/faster/etc., and even more-so if you're EBF. in fact, i was still having more trouble when i went to visit my best friend at 7 weeks PP who had a planned C-section (11lb tranverse breech - yikes!!) her first day home from the hospital. sam was not nearly as big as your aaron wt. wise (just under 8lbs) but his head was 97% for the first two months of his life and had measured about 2-4weeks bigger than the rest of him pretty much my whole pregnancy. i pushed for 3 1/2 hours with the epidural turned off for the last hour of that. from about 30 minutes into it i'd moved the top part of his head down to +2 station, they called in my ob and they kept telling me what a good pusher i was, and that he should come with the next push - yeah, right. well, in retrospect my ob explained that the top part of his head was a +2, but the rest took the next 3 hours of continuous pushing to 'mold' and make its way out. my ob was great and stayed with me for the rest of that 3 hours, even though her partner took over call a half hour later. she did a ton of perenial massage the whole time, but i did still wind up with 2 major tears and 1 minor tear just from the size of his head. she was still stiching me up 45 minutes later when they came the first time to try and move me to maternity :p.

to make a long story short and way way TMI - sorry, i was still having trouble with stinging with urination at 14ish weeks PP and wasn't given the all clear to stop bi-weekly checks with my ob/np until 16 weeks PP. it's just now at a year PP that i can _really_ say that i don't feel it anymore with 'activity'. my bladder control has been ok since about 8 weeks with everything but the strongest sneezes - but they had me doing _a friggin ton_ of kegel's to help with circulation/healing of the tears, so that probably helped in my case, but of course more serious problems need a lot more than just some kegels.

anyway, like i said, i totally empathize. i don't think i'd change anything, b/c afterall, i got a healthy child as the outcome - but you better believe i'll be strategizing with my ob next time around to try and avoid as much of a repeat as is humanly possible!!!

lori
Sam 5/19/05 How lucky I am that you chose me.

[shilo]

while i wouldn't say i 'regret' my vaginal birth, i will offer you a ton of empathy from another BTDT mom. i don't think i was really prepared for the magnitude of the hurdles i would face post vaginal delivery, as everything i'd read was always about how recovery after a vaginal delivery is easier/faster/etc., and even more-so if you're EBF. in fact, i was still having more trouble when i went to visit my best friend at 7 weeks PP who had a planned C-section (11lb tranverse breech - yikes!!) her first day home from the hospital. sam was not nearly as big as your aaron wt. wise (just under 8lbs) but his head was 97% for the first two months of his life and had measured about 2-4weeks bigger than the rest of him pretty much my whole pregnancy. i pushed for 3 1/2 hours with the epidural turned off for the last hour of that. from about 30 minutes into it i'd moved the top part of his head down to +2 station, they called in my ob and they kept telling me what a good pusher i was, and that he should come with the next push - yeah, right. well, in retrospect my ob explained that the top part of his head was a +2, but the rest took the next 3 hours of continuous pushing to 'mold' and make its way out. my ob was great and stayed with me for the rest of that 3 hours, even though her partner took over call a half hour later. she did a ton of perenial massage the whole time, but i did still wind up with 2 major tears and 1 minor tear just from the size of his head. she was still stiching me up 45 minutes later when they came the first time to try and move me to maternity :p.

to make a long story short and way way TMI - sorry, i was still having trouble with stinging with urination at 14ish weeks PP and wasn't given the all clear to stop bi-weekly checks with my ob/np until 16 weeks PP. it's just now at a year PP that i can _really_ say that i don't feel it anymore with 'activity'. my bladder control has been ok since about 8 weeks with everything but the strongest sneezes - but they had me doing _a friggin ton_ of kegel's to help with circulation/healing of the tears, so that probably helped in my case, but of course more serious problems need a lot more than just some kegels.

anyway, like i said, i totally empathize. i don't think i'd change anything, b/c afterall, i got a healthy child as the outcome - but you better believe i'll be strategizing with my ob next time around to try and avoid as much of a repeat as is humanly possible!!!

lori
Sam 5/19/05 How lucky I am that you chose me.

[shilo]

while i wouldn't say i 'regret' my vaginal birth, i will offer you a ton of empathy from another BTDT mom. i don't think i was really prepared for the magnitude of the hurdles i would face post vaginal delivery, as everything i'd read was always about how recovery after a vaginal delivery is easier/faster/etc., and even more-so if you're EBF. in fact, i was still having more trouble when i went to visit my best friend at 7 weeks PP who had a planned C-section (11lb tranverse breech - yikes!!) her first day home from the hospital. sam was not nearly as big as your aaron wt. wise (just under 8lbs) but his head was 97% for the first two months of his life and had measured about 2-4weeks bigger than the rest of him pretty much my whole pregnancy. i pushed for 3 1/2 hours with the epidural turned off for the last hour of that. from about 30 minutes into it i'd moved the top part of his head down to +2 station, they called in my ob and they kept telling me what a good pusher i was, and that he should come with the next push - yeah, right. well, in retrospect my ob explained that the top part of his head was a +2, but the rest took the next 3 hours of continuous pushing to 'mold' and make its way out. my ob was great and stayed with me for the rest of that 3 hours, even though her partner took over call a half hour later. she did a ton of perenial massage the whole time, but i did still wind up with 2 major tears and 1 minor tear just from the size of his head. she was still stiching me up 45 minutes later when they came the first time to try and move me to maternity :p.

to make a long story short and way way TMI - sorry, i was still having trouble with stinging with urination at 14ish weeks PP and wasn't given the all clear to stop bi-weekly checks with my ob/np until 16 weeks PP. it's just now at a year PP that i can _really_ say that i don't feel it anymore with 'activity'. my bladder control has been ok since about 8 weeks with everything but the strongest sneezes - but they had me doing _a friggin ton_ of kegel's to help with circulation/healing of the tears, so that probably helped in my case, but of course more serious problems need a lot more than just some kegels.

anyway, like i said, i totally empathize. i don't think i'd change anything, b/c afterall, i got a healthy child as the outcome - but you better believe i'll be strategizing with my ob next time around to try and avoid as much of a repeat as is humanly possible!!!

lori
Sam 5/19/05 How lucky I am that you chose me.

[shilo]

while i wouldn't say i 'regret' my vaginal birth, i will offer you a ton of empathy from another BTDT mom. i don't think i was really prepared for the magnitude of the hurdles i would face post vaginal delivery, as everything i'd read was always about how recovery after a vaginal delivery is easier/faster/etc., and even more-so if you're EBF. in fact, i was still having more trouble when i went to visit my best friend at 7 weeks PP who had a planned C-section (11lb tranverse breech - yikes!!) her first day home from the hospital. sam was not nearly as big as your aaron wt. wise (just under 8lbs) but his head was 97% for the first two months of his life and had measured about 2-4weeks bigger than the rest of him pretty much my whole pregnancy. i pushed for 3 1/2 hours with the epidural turned off for the last hour of that. from about 30 minutes into it i'd moved the top part of his head down to +2 station, they called in my ob and they kept telling me what a good pusher i was, and that he should come with the next push - yeah, right. well, in retrospect my ob explained that the top part of his head was a +2, but the rest took the next 3 hours of continuous pushing to 'mold' and make its way out. my ob was great and stayed with me for the rest of that 3 hours, even though her partner took over call a half hour later. she did a ton of perenial massage the whole time, but i did still wind up with 2 major tears and 1 minor tear just from the size of his head. she was still stiching me up 45 minutes later when they came the first time to try and move me to maternity :p.

to make a long story short and way way TMI - sorry, i was still having trouble with stinging with urination at 14ish weeks PP and wasn't given the all clear to stop bi-weekly checks with my ob/np until 16 weeks PP. it's just now at a year PP that i can _really_ say that i don't feel it anymore with 'activity'. my bladder control has been ok since about 8 weeks with everything but the strongest sneezes - but they had me doing _a friggin ton_ of kegel's to help with circulation/healing of the tears, so that probably helped in my case, but of course more serious problems need a lot more than just some kegels.

anyway, like i said, i totally empathize. i don't think i'd change anything, b/c afterall, i got a healthy child as the outcome - but you better believe i'll be strategizing with my ob next time around to try and avoid as much of a repeat as is humanly possible!!!

lori
Sam 5/19/05 How lucky I am that you chose me.