Is it wrong to wish someone would die?

[Emmas Mom]

How sad it is to even ask that question but I think that for the rest of my life I'll look back on yesterday as one of the worst days of my life. My throat is raw from screaming & crying so much. This is all about my DH's Nana.

Need to preface this by saying we live with my MIL & her mother (the Nana). They moved from CA to AZ last February (2005) & lived with us in our house while MIL/FIL's house was being built. Then last October we all moved here & are renting our house out. My IL's are great & I really love them dearly. They are letting us live here rent free while DH is in school doing some pre-reqs for Pharmacy school. Ok...here's the long, pathetic story:

I was in the kitchen last night & starting to make dinner. DH was at the library studying for a test he has today. MIL is in California (she's coming back today). Anyway, his Nana came up to me & asked me in this accusing tone of voice where her "crate" was. I had no idea what she was talking about & asked her "what crate". She then proceeded to tell me that she KNEW I took a crate from the top shelf of her closet. Then she started in on this tirade wanting to know where the keys to her desk were because she knew I had copies made & wanted to know where I got the copies made. Then she accused me of damaging her "high boy"....some piece of furniture she has....and taking all her drawers out & dumping the contents on the bed to see what I could steal from her. Then she accuses me of conspiring with my step mom (SM) when she was here in February, w/my Dad, FOR ONE AFTERNOON. That I somehow, when the house was FULL of people, "covered" for SM while she rifled through the Nana's room. She said she HEARD me say to SM "did you get anything good" & that she "patted her pockets" (like she had something in them). Never mind that the old biddy can't hear or see well. When I told her I don't even really know SM that well (my Dad's 3rd wife that he's only been married to for about 7 years & they've lived in a different state the whole time), she doesn't believe me & tells me I have "long" conversations with her. Which I never do & how in the world would she know that anyway?? When we were in our old house she accused my Dad & SM of stealing from her then, which everyone dismissed but apparently she's been "making a list", so to speak. She tells me I stole her phone with the big buttons on it....yes, her old, dirty, landline phone that was a huge eye sore & that no one would use but her. I think MIL conveniently LOST the phone in the move because she didn't like it. Then she starts saying do I want DH & his family to know what kind of a person I am & what kind of a family I come from. That I'm a liar & a thief. Nothing I said mattered to her. In her mind she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm guilty of these things. I have known from stories DH's family has told me that she is a negative person who "sees conspiracies", as they said. But I have never in my life been the target of such harsh & hurtful & utterly false accusations. I have honestly & continually tried to be nice to this woman. Not because I'm overly fond of her but because I feel sorry for her. No one in this house does more for her than I do & that's the honest truth. MIL isn't here all the time. DH is a guy, enough said. And this is what I get for my efforts. Let me just say here....WE LET THIS WOMAN LIVE WITH US!! We asked her for nothing, we wouldn't take her money when she tried to pay us for room & board. I do the grocery shopping around here. She eats my food that I buy with MY money that I make. Not DH, because he's a full time student. Not MIL, cause she's not here all the time (although she does also buy groceries when she's here). She uses our things. I am in hell living with her. No one believes her, everyone's telling me that but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I know I didn't do anything she accused me of, I know they are behind me but for the rest of DH's Nana's life she is going to believe these things about me!! And we have to LIVE with her!! I don't know how to just ignore her. I don't know how to be the better person when she has hurt me so much. I don't know how to get through this time living with her.

DH should be done with his pre-requisites for Pharmacy school by next May. That is the soonest we can move. I'm trying so hard to look at the big picture right now...we live here rent free, we have virtually no bills & are really blessed to have DH's parents helping us this way. I know it's not going to last forever. I have my two little angels & need to focus on them & DH & MIL, not her. But still, she's here. This negative, pathetic, sad presence in the house. I was talking to FIL & he was so sad for me & knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of her filthy lies & accusations. He actually told me that the reason he's not living here is because of her. Because she's always treated HIM badly since he & MIL got married. He's not living with his wife because his MIL lives here! Sad.

I feel badly too because I don't want to cause drama for MIL. She is the Nana's only daughter & is a saint for letting her live with her & not putting her in a home. I've also been told that the Nana has been harsh with MIL her whole life too. I've seen it on a couple occasions, but nothing like she was with me yesterday. I guess I'm the scapegoat cause I'm not her blood family. If that was my mother, I could never live with her. She doesn't hear or see very well, but other than that she's pretty healthy. Though people are starting to think she has some form of dementia or something.

And here's the kicker. The part that makes it ALMOST humorous. The things that are being stolen from her...yeah, an old electric can opener, old half used bottles of shampoo & nail polish remover. You know, things that are REALLY hot commodities & everyone would want (insert very heavy sarcasm). I mean...come on! Are you freaking serious?! Oh...and other things she apparently cannot remember but "knows" are missing. How do you argue that??

I hate that she made me so upset that DD was crying & kept trying to hug me & comfort me. I hate that she got to me like that. I know that no one believes her but it doesn't matter. I've never been so falsely & viciously accused of anything like that before. I've never really hated someone before. I'm not sure I know what real hatred is like but I imagine it's something like what I'm feeling towards her. And that's just sad, just really, really sad. Nice, huh?

Edited to correct spelling (too upset still to spell right...feeble attempt at humour).

[Emmas Mom]

How sad it is to even ask that question but I think that for the rest of my life I'll look back on yesterday as one of the worst days of my life. My throat is raw from screaming & crying so much. This is all about my DH's Nana.

Need to preface this by saying we live with my MIL & her mother (the Nana). They moved from CA to AZ last February (2005) & lived with us in our house while MIL/FIL's house was being built. Then last October we all moved here & are renting our house out. My IL's are great & I really love them dearly. They are letting us live here rent free while DH is in school doing some pre-reqs for Pharmacy school. Ok...here's the long, pathetic story:

I was in the kitchen last night & starting to make dinner. DH was at the library studying for a test he has today. MIL is in California (she's coming back today). Anyway, his Nana came up to me & asked me in this accusing tone of voice where her "crate" was. I had no idea what she was talking about & asked her "what crate". She then proceeded to tell me that she KNEW I took a crate from the top shelf of her closet. Then she started in on this tirade wanting to know where the keys to her desk were because she knew I had copies made & wanted to know where I got the copies made. Then she accused me of damaging her "high boy"....some piece of furniture she has....and taking all her drawers out & dumping the contents on the bed to see what I could steal from her. Then she accuses me of conspiring with my step mom (SM) when she was here in February, w/my Dad, FOR ONE AFTERNOON. That I somehow, when the house was FULL of people, "covered" for SM while she rifled through the Nana's room. She said she HEARD me say to SM "did you get anything good" & that she "patted her pockets" (like she had something in them). Never mind that the old biddy can't hear or see well. When I told her I don't even really know SM that well (my Dad's 3rd wife that he's only been married to for about 7 years & they've lived in a different state the whole time), she doesn't believe me & tells me I have "long" conversations with her. Which I never do & how in the world would she know that anyway?? When we were in our old house she accused my Dad & SM of stealing from her then, which everyone dismissed but apparently she's been "making a list", so to speak. She tells me I stole her phone with the big buttons on it....yes, her old, dirty, landline phone that was a huge eye sore & that no one would use but her. I think MIL conveniently LOST the phone in the move because she didn't like it. Then she starts saying do I want DH & his family to know what kind of a person I am & what kind of a family I come from. That I'm a liar & a thief. Nothing I said mattered to her. In her mind she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm guilty of these things. I have known from stories DH's family has told me that she is a negative person who "sees conspiracies", as they said. But I have never in my life been the target of such harsh & hurtful & utterly false accusations. I have honestly & continually tried to be nice to this woman. Not because I'm overly fond of her but because I feel sorry for her. No one in this house does more for her than I do & that's the honest truth. MIL isn't here all the time. DH is a guy, enough said. And this is what I get for my efforts. Let me just say here....WE LET THIS WOMAN LIVE WITH US!! We asked her for nothing, we wouldn't take her money when she tried to pay us for room & board. I do the grocery shopping around here. She eats my food that I buy with MY money that I make. Not DH, because he's a full time student. Not MIL, cause she's not here all the time (although she does also buy groceries when she's here). She uses our things. I am in hell living with her. No one believes her, everyone's telling me that but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I know I didn't do anything she accused me of, I know they are behind me but for the rest of DH's Nana's life she is going to believe these things about me!! And we have to LIVE with her!! I don't know how to just ignore her. I don't know how to be the better person when she has hurt me so much. I don't know how to get through this time living with her.

DH should be done with his pre-requisites for Pharmacy school by next May. That is the soonest we can move. I'm trying so hard to look at the big picture right now...we live here rent free, we have virtually no bills & are really blessed to have DH's parents helping us this way. I know it's not going to last forever. I have my two little angels & need to focus on them & DH & MIL, not her. But still, she's here. This negative, pathetic, sad presence in the house. I was talking to FIL & he was so sad for me & knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of her filthy lies & accusations. He actually told me that the reason he's not living here is because of her. Because she's always treated HIM badly since he & MIL got married. He's not living with his wife because his MIL lives here! Sad.

I feel badly too because I don't want to cause drama for MIL. She is the Nana's only daughter & is a saint for letting her live with her & not putting her in a home. I've also been told that the Nana has been harsh with MIL her whole life too. I've seen it on a couple occasions, but nothing like she was with me yesterday. I guess I'm the scapegoat cause I'm not her blood family. If that was my mother, I could never live with her. She doesn't hear or see very well, but other than that she's pretty healthy. Though people are starting to think she has some form of dementia or something.

And here's the kicker. The part that makes it ALMOST humorous. The things that are being stolen from her...yeah, an old electric can opener, old half used bottles of shampoo & nail polish remover. You know, things that are REALLY hot commodities & everyone would want (insert very heavy sarcasm). I mean...come on! Are you freaking serious?! Oh...and other things she apparently cannot remember but "knows" are missing. How do you argue that??

I hate that she made me so upset that DD was crying & kept trying to hug me & comfort me. I hate that she got to me like that. I know that no one believes her but it doesn't matter. I've never been so falsely & viciously accused of anything like that before. I've never really hated someone before. I'm not sure I know what real hatred is like but I imagine it's something like what I'm feeling towards her. And that's just sad, just really, really sad. Nice, huh?

Edited to correct spelling (too upset still to spell right...feeble attempt at humour).

[Emmas Mom]

How sad it is to even ask that question but I think that for the rest of my life I'll look back on yesterday as one of the worst days of my life. My throat is raw from screaming & crying so much. This is all about my DH's Nana.

Need to preface this by saying we live with my MIL & her mother (the Nana). They moved from CA to AZ last February (2005) & lived with us in our house while MIL/FIL's house was being built. Then last October we all moved here & are renting our house out. My IL's are great & I really love them dearly. They are letting us live here rent free while DH is in school doing some pre-reqs for Pharmacy school. Ok...here's the long, pathetic story:

I was in the kitchen last night & starting to make dinner. DH was at the library studying for a test he has today. MIL is in California (she's coming back today). Anyway, his Nana came up to me & asked me in this accusing tone of voice where her "crate" was. I had no idea what she was talking about & asked her "what crate". She then proceeded to tell me that she KNEW I took a crate from the top shelf of her closet. Then she started in on this tirade wanting to know where the keys to her desk were because she knew I had copies made & wanted to know where I got the copies made. Then she accused me of damaging her "high boy"....some piece of furniture she has....and taking all her drawers out & dumping the contents on the bed to see what I could steal from her. Then she accuses me of conspiring with my step mom (SM) when she was here in February, w/my Dad, FOR ONE AFTERNOON. That I somehow, when the house was FULL of people, "covered" for SM while she rifled through the Nana's room. She said she HEARD me say to SM "did you get anything good" & that she "patted her pockets" (like she had something in them). Never mind that the old biddy can't hear or see well. When I told her I don't even really know SM that well (my Dad's 3rd wife that he's only been married to for about 7 years & they've lived in a different state the whole time), she doesn't believe me & tells me I have "long" conversations with her. Which I never do & how in the world would she know that anyway?? When we were in our old house she accused my Dad & SM of stealing from her then, which everyone dismissed but apparently she's been "making a list", so to speak. She tells me I stole her phone with the big buttons on it....yes, her old, dirty, landline phone that was a huge eye sore & that no one would use but her. I think MIL conveniently LOST the phone in the move because she didn't like it. Then she starts saying do I want DH & his family to know what kind of a person I am & what kind of a family I come from. That I'm a liar & a thief. Nothing I said mattered to her. In her mind she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm guilty of these things. I have known from stories DH's family has told me that she is a negative person who "sees conspiracies", as they said. But I have never in my life been the target of such harsh & hurtful & utterly false accusations. I have honestly & continually tried to be nice to this woman. Not because I'm overly fond of her but because I feel sorry for her. No one in this house does more for her than I do & that's the honest truth. MIL isn't here all the time. DH is a guy, enough said. And this is what I get for my efforts. Let me just say here....WE LET THIS WOMAN LIVE WITH US!! We asked her for nothing, we wouldn't take her money when she tried to pay us for room & board. I do the grocery shopping around here. She eats my food that I buy with MY money that I make. Not DH, because he's a full time student. Not MIL, cause she's not here all the time (although she does also buy groceries when she's here). She uses our things. I am in hell living with her. No one believes her, everyone's telling me that but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I know I didn't do anything she accused me of, I know they are behind me but for the rest of DH's Nana's life she is going to believe these things about me!! And we have to LIVE with her!! I don't know how to just ignore her. I don't know how to be the better person when she has hurt me so much. I don't know how to get through this time living with her.

DH should be done with his pre-requisites for Pharmacy school by next May. That is the soonest we can move. I'm trying so hard to look at the big picture right now...we live here rent free, we have virtually no bills & are really blessed to have DH's parents helping us this way. I know it's not going to last forever. I have my two little angels & need to focus on them & DH & MIL, not her. But still, she's here. This negative, pathetic, sad presence in the house. I was talking to FIL & he was so sad for me & knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of her filthy lies & accusations. He actually told me that the reason he's not living here is because of her. Because she's always treated HIM badly since he & MIL got married. He's not living with his wife because his MIL lives here! Sad.

I feel badly too because I don't want to cause drama for MIL. She is the Nana's only daughter & is a saint for letting her live with her & not putting her in a home. I've also been told that the Nana has been harsh with MIL her whole life too. I've seen it on a couple occasions, but nothing like she was with me yesterday. I guess I'm the scapegoat cause I'm not her blood family. If that was my mother, I could never live with her. She doesn't hear or see very well, but other than that she's pretty healthy. Though people are starting to think she has some form of dementia or something.

And here's the kicker. The part that makes it ALMOST humorous. The things that are being stolen from her...yeah, an old electric can opener, old half used bottles of shampoo & nail polish remover. You know, things that are REALLY hot commodities & everyone would want (insert very heavy sarcasm). I mean...come on! Are you freaking serious?! Oh...and other things she apparently cannot remember but "knows" are missing. How do you argue that??

I hate that she made me so upset that DD was crying & kept trying to hug me & comfort me. I hate that she got to me like that. I know that no one believes her but it doesn't matter. I've never been so falsely & viciously accused of anything like that before. I've never really hated someone before. I'm not sure I know what real hatred is like but I imagine it's something like what I'm feeling towards her. And that's just sad, just really, really sad. Nice, huh?

Edited to correct spelling (too upset still to spell right...feeble attempt at humour).

[Emmas Mom]

How sad it is to even ask that question but I think that for the rest of my life I'll look back on yesterday as one of the worst days of my life. My throat is raw from screaming & crying so much. This is all about my DH's Nana.

Need to preface this by saying we live with my MIL & her mother (the Nana). They moved from CA to AZ last February (2005) & lived with us in our house while MIL/FIL's house was being built. Then last October we all moved here & are renting our house out. My IL's are great & I really love them dearly. They are letting us live here rent free while DH is in school doing some pre-reqs for Pharmacy school. Ok...here's the long, pathetic story:

I was in the kitchen last night & starting to make dinner. DH was at the library studying for a test he has today. MIL is in California (she's coming back today). Anyway, his Nana came up to me & asked me in this accusing tone of voice where her "crate" was. I had no idea what she was talking about & asked her "what crate". She then proceeded to tell me that she KNEW I took a crate from the top shelf of her closet. Then she started in on this tirade wanting to know where the keys to her desk were because she knew I had copies made & wanted to know where I got the copies made. Then she accused me of damaging her "high boy"....some piece of furniture she has....and taking all her drawers out & dumping the contents on the bed to see what I could steal from her. Then she accuses me of conspiring with my step mom (SM) when she was here in February, w/my Dad, FOR ONE AFTERNOON. That I somehow, when the house was FULL of people, "covered" for SM while she rifled through the Nana's room. She said she HEARD me say to SM "did you get anything good" & that she "patted her pockets" (like she had something in them). Never mind that the old biddy can't hear or see well. When I told her I don't even really know SM that well (my Dad's 3rd wife that he's only been married to for about 7 years & they've lived in a different state the whole time), she doesn't believe me & tells me I have "long" conversations with her. Which I never do & how in the world would she know that anyway?? When we were in our old house she accused my Dad & SM of stealing from her then, which everyone dismissed but apparently she's been "making a list", so to speak. She tells me I stole her phone with the big buttons on it....yes, her old, dirty, landline phone that was a huge eye sore & that no one would use but her. I think MIL conveniently LOST the phone in the move because she didn't like it. Then she starts saying do I want DH & his family to know what kind of a person I am & what kind of a family I come from. That I'm a liar & a thief. Nothing I said mattered to her. In her mind she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm guilty of these things. I have known from stories DH's family has told me that she is a negative person who "sees conspiracies", as they said. But I have never in my life been the target of such harsh & hurtful & utterly false accusations. I have honestly & continually tried to be nice to this woman. Not because I'm overly fond of her but because I feel sorry for her. No one in this house does more for her than I do & that's the honest truth. MIL isn't here all the time. DH is a guy, enough said. And this is what I get for my efforts. Let me just say here....WE LET THIS WOMAN LIVE WITH US!! We asked her for nothing, we wouldn't take her money when she tried to pay us for room & board. I do the grocery shopping around here. She eats my food that I buy with MY money that I make. Not DH, because he's a full time student. Not MIL, cause she's not here all the time (although she does also buy groceries when she's here). She uses our things. I am in hell living with her. No one believes her, everyone's telling me that but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I know I didn't do anything she accused me of, I know they are behind me but for the rest of DH's Nana's life she is going to believe these things about me!! And we have to LIVE with her!! I don't know how to just ignore her. I don't know how to be the better person when she has hurt me so much. I don't know how to get through this time living with her.

DH should be done with his pre-requisites for Pharmacy school by next May. That is the soonest we can move. I'm trying so hard to look at the big picture right now...we live here rent free, we have virtually no bills & are really blessed to have DH's parents helping us this way. I know it's not going to last forever. I have my two little angels & need to focus on them & DH & MIL, not her. But still, she's here. This negative, pathetic, sad presence in the house. I was talking to FIL & he was so sad for me & knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of her filthy lies & accusations. He actually told me that the reason he's not living here is because of her. Because she's always treated HIM badly since he & MIL got married. He's not living with his wife because his MIL lives here! Sad.

I feel badly too because I don't want to cause drama for MIL. She is the Nana's only daughter & is a saint for letting her live with her & not putting her in a home. I've also been told that the Nana has been harsh with MIL her whole life too. I've seen it on a couple occasions, but nothing like she was with me yesterday. I guess I'm the scapegoat cause I'm not her blood family. If that was my mother, I could never live with her. She doesn't hear or see very well, but other than that she's pretty healthy. Though people are starting to think she has some form of dementia or something.

And here's the kicker. The part that makes it ALMOST humorous. The things that are being stolen from her...yeah, an old electric can opener, old half used bottles of shampoo & nail polish remover. You know, things that are REALLY hot commodities & everyone would want (insert very heavy sarcasm). I mean...come on! Are you freaking serious?! Oh...and other things she apparently cannot remember but "knows" are missing. How do you argue that??

I hate that she made me so upset that DD was crying & kept trying to hug me & comfort me. I hate that she got to me like that. I know that no one believes her but it doesn't matter. I've never been so falsely & viciously accused of anything like that before. I've never really hated someone before. I'm not sure I know what real hatred is like but I imagine it's something like what I'm feeling towards her. And that's just sad, just really, really sad. Nice, huh?

Edited to correct spelling (too upset still to spell right...feeble attempt at humour).

[Emmas Mom]

How sad it is to even ask that question but I think that for the rest of my life I'll look back on yesterday as one of the worst days of my life. My throat is raw from screaming & crying so much. This is all about my DH's Nana.

Need to preface this by saying we live with my MIL & her mother (the Nana). They moved from CA to AZ last February (2005) & lived with us in our house while MIL/FIL's house was being built. Then last October we all moved here & are renting our house out. My IL's are great & I really love them dearly. They are letting us live here rent free while DH is in school doing some pre-reqs for Pharmacy school. Ok...here's the long, pathetic story:

I was in the kitchen last night & starting to make dinner. DH was at the library studying for a test he has today. MIL is in California (she's coming back today). Anyway, his Nana came up to me & asked me in this accusing tone of voice where her "crate" was. I had no idea what she was talking about & asked her "what crate". She then proceeded to tell me that she KNEW I took a crate from the top shelf of her closet. Then she started in on this tirade wanting to know where the keys to her desk were because she knew I had copies made & wanted to know where I got the copies made. Then she accused me of damaging her "high boy"....some piece of furniture she has....and taking all her drawers out & dumping the contents on the bed to see what I could steal from her. Then she accuses me of conspiring with my step mom (SM) when she was here in February, w/my Dad, FOR ONE AFTERNOON. That I somehow, when the house was FULL of people, "covered" for SM while she rifled through the Nana's room. She said she HEARD me say to SM "did you get anything good" & that she "patted her pockets" (like she had something in them). Never mind that the old biddy can't hear or see well. When I told her I don't even really know SM that well (my Dad's 3rd wife that he's only been married to for about 7 years & they've lived in a different state the whole time), she doesn't believe me & tells me I have "long" conversations with her. Which I never do & how in the world would she know that anyway?? When we were in our old house she accused my Dad & SM of stealing from her then, which everyone dismissed but apparently she's been "making a list", so to speak. She tells me I stole her phone with the big buttons on it....yes, her old, dirty, landline phone that was a huge eye sore & that no one would use but her. I think MIL conveniently LOST the phone in the move because she didn't like it. Then she starts saying do I want DH & his family to know what kind of a person I am & what kind of a family I come from. That I'm a liar & a thief. Nothing I said mattered to her. In her mind she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm guilty of these things. I have known from stories DH's family has told me that she is a negative person who "sees conspiracies", as they said. But I have never in my life been the target of such harsh & hurtful & utterly false accusations. I have honestly & continually tried to be nice to this woman. Not because I'm overly fond of her but because I feel sorry for her. No one in this house does more for her than I do & that's the honest truth. MIL isn't here all the time. DH is a guy, enough said. And this is what I get for my efforts. Let me just say here....WE LET THIS WOMAN LIVE WITH US!! We asked her for nothing, we wouldn't take her money when she tried to pay us for room & board. I do the grocery shopping around here. She eats my food that I buy with MY money that I make. Not DH, because he's a full time student. Not MIL, cause she's not here all the time (although she does also buy groceries when she's here). She uses our things. I am in hell living with her. No one believes her, everyone's telling me that but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I know I didn't do anything she accused me of, I know they are behind me but for the rest of DH's Nana's life she is going to believe these things about me!! And we have to LIVE with her!! I don't know how to just ignore her. I don't know how to be the better person when she has hurt me so much. I don't know how to get through this time living with her.

DH should be done with his pre-requisites for Pharmacy school by next May. That is the soonest we can move. I'm trying so hard to look at the big picture right now...we live here rent free, we have virtually no bills & are really blessed to have DH's parents helping us this way. I know it's not going to last forever. I have my two little angels & need to focus on them & DH & MIL, not her. But still, she's here. This negative, pathetic, sad presence in the house. I was talking to FIL & he was so sad for me & knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of her filthy lies & accusations. He actually told me that the reason he's not living here is because of her. Because she's always treated HIM badly since he & MIL got married. He's not living with his wife because his MIL lives here! Sad.

I feel badly too because I don't want to cause drama for MIL. She is the Nana's only daughter & is a saint for letting her live with her & not putting her in a home. I've also been told that the Nana has been harsh with MIL her whole life too. I've seen it on a couple occasions, but nothing like she was with me yesterday. I guess I'm the scapegoat cause I'm not her blood family. If that was my mother, I could never live with her. She doesn't hear or see very well, but other than that she's pretty healthy. Though people are starting to think she has some form of dementia or something.

And here's the kicker. The part that makes it ALMOST humorous. The things that are being stolen from her...yeah, an old electric can opener, old half used bottles of shampoo & nail polish remover. You know, things that are REALLY hot commodities & everyone would want (insert very heavy sarcasm). I mean...come on! Are you freaking serious?! Oh...and other things she apparently cannot remember but "knows" are missing. How do you argue that??

I hate that she made me so upset that DD was crying & kept trying to hug me & comfort me. I hate that she got to me like that. I know that no one believes her but it doesn't matter. I've never been so falsely & viciously accused of anything like that before. I've never really hated someone before. I'm not sure I know what real hatred is like but I imagine it's something like what I'm feeling towards her. And that's just sad, just really, really sad. Nice, huh?

Edited to correct spelling (too upset still to spell right...feeble attempt at humour).

[Emmas Mom]

How sad it is to even ask that question but I think that for the rest of my life I'll look back on yesterday as one of the worst days of my life. My throat is raw from screaming & crying so much. This is all about my DH's Nana.

Need to preface this by saying we live with my MIL & her mother (the Nana). They moved from CA to AZ last February (2005) & lived with us in our house while MIL/FIL's house was being built. Then last October we all moved here & are renting our house out. My IL's are great & I really love them dearly. They are letting us live here rent free while DH is in school doing some pre-reqs for Pharmacy school. Ok...here's the long, pathetic story:

I was in the kitchen last night & starting to make dinner. DH was at the library studying for a test he has today. MIL is in California (she's coming back today). Anyway, his Nana came up to me & asked me in this accusing tone of voice where her "crate" was. I had no idea what she was talking about & asked her "what crate". She then proceeded to tell me that she KNEW I took a crate from the top shelf of her closet. Then she started in on this tirade wanting to know where the keys to her desk were because she knew I had copies made & wanted to know where I got the copies made. Then she accused me of damaging her "high boy"....some piece of furniture she has....and taking all her drawers out & dumping the contents on the bed to see what I could steal from her. Then she accuses me of conspiring with my step mom (SM) when she was here in February, w/my Dad, FOR ONE AFTERNOON. That I somehow, when the house was FULL of people, "covered" for SM while she rifled through the Nana's room. She said she HEARD me say to SM "did you get anything good" & that she "patted her pockets" (like she had something in them). Never mind that the old biddy can't hear or see well. When I told her I don't even really know SM that well (my Dad's 3rd wife that he's only been married to for about 7 years & they've lived in a different state the whole time), she doesn't believe me & tells me I have "long" conversations with her. Which I never do & how in the world would she know that anyway?? When we were in our old house she accused my Dad & SM of stealing from her then, which everyone dismissed but apparently she's been "making a list", so to speak. She tells me I stole her phone with the big buttons on it....yes, her old, dirty, landline phone that was a huge eye sore & that no one would use but her. I think MIL conveniently LOST the phone in the move because she didn't like it. Then she starts saying do I want DH & his family to know what kind of a person I am & what kind of a family I come from. That I'm a liar & a thief. Nothing I said mattered to her. In her mind she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm guilty of these things. I have known from stories DH's family has told me that she is a negative person who "sees conspiracies", as they said. But I have never in my life been the target of such harsh & hurtful & utterly false accusations. I have honestly & continually tried to be nice to this woman. Not because I'm overly fond of her but because I feel sorry for her. No one in this house does more for her than I do & that's the honest truth. MIL isn't here all the time. DH is a guy, enough said. And this is what I get for my efforts. Let me just say here....WE LET THIS WOMAN LIVE WITH US!! We asked her for nothing, we wouldn't take her money when she tried to pay us for room & board. I do the grocery shopping around here. She eats my food that I buy with MY money that I make. Not DH, because he's a full time student. Not MIL, cause she's not here all the time (although she does also buy groceries when she's here). She uses our things. I am in hell living with her. No one believes her, everyone's telling me that but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I know I didn't do anything she accused me of, I know they are behind me but for the rest of DH's Nana's life she is going to believe these things about me!! And we have to LIVE with her!! I don't know how to just ignore her. I don't know how to be the better person when she has hurt me so much. I don't know how to get through this time living with her.

DH should be done with his pre-requisites for Pharmacy school by next May. That is the soonest we can move. I'm trying so hard to look at the big picture right now...we live here rent free, we have virtually no bills & are really blessed to have DH's parents helping us this way. I know it's not going to last forever. I have my two little angels & need to focus on them & DH & MIL, not her. But still, she's here. This negative, pathetic, sad presence in the house. I was talking to FIL & he was so sad for me & knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of her filthy lies & accusations. He actually told me that the reason he's not living here is because of her. Because she's always treated HIM badly since he & MIL got married. He's not living with his wife because his MIL lives here! Sad.

I feel badly too because I don't want to cause drama for MIL. She is the Nana's only daughter & is a saint for letting her live with her & not putting her in a home. I've also been told that the Nana has been harsh with MIL her whole life too. I've seen it on a couple occasions, but nothing like she was with me yesterday. I guess I'm the scapegoat cause I'm not her blood family. If that was my mother, I could never live with her. She doesn't hear or see very well, but other than that she's pretty healthy. Though people are starting to think she has some form of dementia or something.

And here's the kicker. The part that makes it ALMOST humorous. The things that are being stolen from her...yeah, an old electric can opener, old half used bottles of shampoo & nail polish remover. You know, things that are REALLY hot commodities & everyone would want (insert very heavy sarcasm). I mean...come on! Are you freaking serious?! Oh...and other things she apparently cannot remember but "knows" are missing. How do you argue that??

I hate that she made me so upset that DD was crying & kept trying to hug me & comfort me. I hate that she got to me like that. I know that no one believes her but it doesn't matter. I've never been so falsely & viciously accused of anything like that before. I've never really hated someone before. I'm not sure I know what real hatred is like but I imagine it's something like what I'm feeling towards her. And that's just sad, just really, really sad. Nice, huh?

Edited to correct spelling (too upset still to spell right...feeble attempt at humour).

[Emmas Mom]

How sad it is to even ask that question but I think that for the rest of my life I'll look back on yesterday as one of the worst days of my life. My throat is raw from screaming & crying so much. This is all about my DH's Nana.

Need to preface this by saying we live with my MIL & her mother (the Nana). They moved from CA to AZ last February (2005) & lived with us in our house while MIL/FIL's house was being built. Then last October we all moved here & are renting our house out. My IL's are great & I really love them dearly. They are letting us live here rent free while DH is in school doing some pre-reqs for Pharmacy school. Ok...here's the long, pathetic story:

I was in the kitchen last night & starting to make dinner. DH was at the library studying for a test he has today. MIL is in California (she's coming back today). Anyway, his Nana came up to me & asked me in this accusing tone of voice where her "crate" was. I had no idea what she was talking about & asked her "what crate". She then proceeded to tell me that she KNEW I took a crate from the top shelf of her closet. Then she started in on this tirade wanting to know where the keys to her desk were because she knew I had copies made & wanted to know where I got the copies made. Then she accused me of damaging her "high boy"....some piece of furniture she has....and taking all her drawers out & dumping the contents on the bed to see what I could steal from her. Then she accuses me of conspiring with my step mom (SM) when she was here in February, w/my Dad, FOR ONE AFTERNOON. That I somehow, when the house was FULL of people, "covered" for SM while she rifled through the Nana's room. She said she HEARD me say to SM "did you get anything good" & that she "patted her pockets" (like she had something in them). Never mind that the old biddy can't hear or see well. When I told her I don't even really know SM that well (my Dad's 3rd wife that he's only been married to for about 7 years & they've lived in a different state the whole time), she doesn't believe me & tells me I have "long" conversations with her. Which I never do & how in the world would she know that anyway?? When we were in our old house she accused my Dad & SM of stealing from her then, which everyone dismissed but apparently she's been "making a list", so to speak. She tells me I stole her phone with the big buttons on it....yes, her old, dirty, landline phone that was a huge eye sore & that no one would use but her. I think MIL conveniently LOST the phone in the move because she didn't like it. Then she starts saying do I want DH & his family to know what kind of a person I am & what kind of a family I come from. That I'm a liar & a thief. Nothing I said mattered to her. In her mind she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm guilty of these things. I have known from stories DH's family has told me that she is a negative person who "sees conspiracies", as they said. But I have never in my life been the target of such harsh & hurtful & utterly false accusations. I have honestly & continually tried to be nice to this woman. Not because I'm overly fond of her but because I feel sorry for her. No one in this house does more for her than I do & that's the honest truth. MIL isn't here all the time. DH is a guy, enough said. And this is what I get for my efforts. Let me just say here....WE LET THIS WOMAN LIVE WITH US!! We asked her for nothing, we wouldn't take her money when she tried to pay us for room & board. I do the grocery shopping around here. She eats my food that I buy with MY money that I make. Not DH, because he's a full time student. Not MIL, cause she's not here all the time (although she does also buy groceries when she's here). She uses our things. I am in hell living with her. No one believes her, everyone's telling me that but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I know I didn't do anything she accused me of, I know they are behind me but for the rest of DH's Nana's life she is going to believe these things about me!! And we have to LIVE with her!! I don't know how to just ignore her. I don't know how to be the better person when she has hurt me so much. I don't know how to get through this time living with her.

DH should be done with his pre-requisites for Pharmacy school by next May. That is the soonest we can move. I'm trying so hard to look at the big picture right now...we live here rent free, we have virtually no bills & are really blessed to have DH's parents helping us this way. I know it's not going to last forever. I have my two little angels & need to focus on them & DH & MIL, not her. But still, she's here. This negative, pathetic, sad presence in the house. I was talking to FIL & he was so sad for me & knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of her filthy lies & accusations. He actually told me that the reason he's not living here is because of her. Because she's always treated HIM badly since he & MIL got married. He's not living with his wife because his MIL lives here! Sad.

I feel badly too because I don't want to cause drama for MIL. She is the Nana's only daughter & is a saint for letting her live with her & not putting her in a home. I've also been told that the Nana has been harsh with MIL her whole life too. I've seen it on a couple occasions, but nothing like she was with me yesterday. I guess I'm the scapegoat cause I'm not her blood family. If that was my mother, I could never live with her. She doesn't hear or see very well, but other than that she's pretty healthy. Though people are starting to think she has some form of dementia or something.

And here's the kicker. The part that makes it ALMOST humorous. The things that are being stolen from her...yeah, an old electric can opener, old half used bottles of shampoo & nail polish remover. You know, things that are REALLY hot commodities & everyone would want (insert very heavy sarcasm). I mean...come on! Are you freaking serious?! Oh...and other things she apparently cannot remember but "knows" are missing. How do you argue that??

I hate that she made me so upset that DD was crying & kept trying to hug me & comfort me. I hate that she got to me like that. I know that no one believes her but it doesn't matter. I've never been so falsely & viciously accused of anything like that before. I've never really hated someone before. I'm not sure I know what real hatred is like but I imagine it's something like what I'm feeling towards her. And that's just sad, just really, really sad. Nice, huh?

Edited to correct spelling (too upset still to spell right...feeble attempt at humour).

[Emmas Mom]

How sad it is to even ask that question but I think that for the rest of my life I'll look back on yesterday as one of the worst days of my life. My throat is raw from screaming & crying so much. This is all about my DH's Nana.

Need to preface this by saying we live with my MIL & her mother (the Nana). They moved from CA to AZ last February (2005) & lived with us in our house while MIL/FIL's house was being built. Then last October we all moved here & are renting our house out. My IL's are great & I really love them dearly. They are letting us live here rent free while DH is in school doing some pre-reqs for Pharmacy school. Ok...here's the long, pathetic story:

I was in the kitchen last night & starting to make dinner. DH was at the library studying for a test he has today. MIL is in California (she's coming back today). Anyway, his Nana came up to me & asked me in this accusing tone of voice where her "crate" was. I had no idea what she was talking about & asked her "what crate". She then proceeded to tell me that she KNEW I took a crate from the top shelf of her closet. Then she started in on this tirade wanting to know where the keys to her desk were because she knew I had copies made & wanted to know where I got the copies made. Then she accused me of damaging her "high boy"....some piece of furniture she has....and taking all her drawers out & dumping the contents on the bed to see what I could steal from her. Then she accuses me of conspiring with my step mom (SM) when she was here in February, w/my Dad, FOR ONE AFTERNOON. That I somehow, when the house was FULL of people, "covered" for SM while she rifled through the Nana's room. She said she HEARD me say to SM "did you get anything good" & that she "patted her pockets" (like she had something in them). Never mind that the old biddy can't hear or see well. When I told her I don't even really know SM that well (my Dad's 3rd wife that he's only been married to for about 7 years & they've lived in a different state the whole time), she doesn't believe me & tells me I have "long" conversations with her. Which I never do & how in the world would she know that anyway?? When we were in our old house she accused my Dad & SM of stealing from her then, which everyone dismissed but apparently she's been "making a list", so to speak. She tells me I stole her phone with the big buttons on it....yes, her old, dirty, landline phone that was a huge eye sore & that no one would use but her. I think MIL conveniently LOST the phone in the move because she didn't like it. Then she starts saying do I want DH & his family to know what kind of a person I am & what kind of a family I come from. That I'm a liar & a thief. Nothing I said mattered to her. In her mind she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm guilty of these things. I have known from stories DH's family has told me that she is a negative person who "sees conspiracies", as they said. But I have never in my life been the target of such harsh & hurtful & utterly false accusations. I have honestly & continually tried to be nice to this woman. Not because I'm overly fond of her but because I feel sorry for her. No one in this house does more for her than I do & that's the honest truth. MIL isn't here all the time. DH is a guy, enough said. And this is what I get for my efforts. Let me just say here....WE LET THIS WOMAN LIVE WITH US!! We asked her for nothing, we wouldn't take her money when she tried to pay us for room & board. I do the grocery shopping around here. She eats my food that I buy with MY money that I make. Not DH, because he's a full time student. Not MIL, cause she's not here all the time (although she does also buy groceries when she's here). She uses our things. I am in hell living with her. No one believes her, everyone's telling me that but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I know I didn't do anything she accused me of, I know they are behind me but for the rest of DH's Nana's life she is going to believe these things about me!! And we have to LIVE with her!! I don't know how to just ignore her. I don't know how to be the better person when she has hurt me so much. I don't know how to get through this time living with her.

DH should be done with his pre-requisites for Pharmacy school by next May. That is the soonest we can move. I'm trying so hard to look at the big picture right now...we live here rent free, we have virtually no bills & are really blessed to have DH's parents helping us this way. I know it's not going to last forever. I have my two little angels & need to focus on them & DH & MIL, not her. But still, she's here. This negative, pathetic, sad presence in the house. I was talking to FIL & he was so sad for me & knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of her filthy lies & accusations. He actually told me that the reason he's not living here is because of her. Because she's always treated HIM badly since he & MIL got married. He's not living with his wife because his MIL lives here! Sad.

I feel badly too because I don't want to cause drama for MIL. She is the Nana's only daughter & is a saint for letting her live with her & not putting her in a home. I've also been told that the Nana has been harsh with MIL her whole life too. I've seen it on a couple occasions, but nothing like she was with me yesterday. I guess I'm the scapegoat cause I'm not her blood family. If that was my mother, I could never live with her. She doesn't hear or see very well, but other than that she's pretty healthy. Though people are starting to think she has some form of dementia or something.

And here's the kicker. The part that makes it ALMOST humorous. The things that are being stolen from her...yeah, an old electric can opener, old half used bottles of shampoo & nail polish remover. You know, things that are REALLY hot commodities & everyone would want (insert very heavy sarcasm). I mean...come on! Are you freaking serious?! Oh...and other things she apparently cannot remember but "knows" are missing. How do you argue that??

I hate that she made me so upset that DD was crying & kept trying to hug me & comfort me. I hate that she got to me like that. I know that no one believes her but it doesn't matter. I've never been so falsely & viciously accused of anything like that before. I've never really hated someone before. I'm not sure I know what real hatred is like but I imagine it's something like what I'm feeling towards her. And that's just sad, just really, really sad. Nice, huh?

Edited to correct spelling (too upset still to spell right...feeble attempt at humour).

[Emmas Mom]

How sad it is to even ask that question but I think that for the rest of my life I'll look back on yesterday as one of the worst days of my life. My throat is raw from screaming & crying so much. This is all about my DH's Nana.

Need to preface this by saying we live with my MIL & her mother (the Nana). They moved from CA to AZ last February (2005) & lived with us in our house while MIL/FIL's house was being built. Then last October we all moved here & are renting our house out. My IL's are great & I really love them dearly. They are letting us live here rent free while DH is in school doing some pre-reqs for Pharmacy school. Ok...here's the long, pathetic story:

I was in the kitchen last night & starting to make dinner. DH was at the library studying for a test he has today. MIL is in California (she's coming back today). Anyway, his Nana came up to me & asked me in this accusing tone of voice where her "crate" was. I had no idea what she was talking about & asked her "what crate". She then proceeded to tell me that she KNEW I took a crate from the top shelf of her closet. Then she started in on this tirade wanting to know where the keys to her desk were because she knew I had copies made & wanted to know where I got the copies made. Then she accused me of damaging her "high boy"....some piece of furniture she has....and taking all her drawers out & dumping the contents on the bed to see what I could steal from her. Then she accuses me of conspiring with my step mom (SM) when she was here in February, w/my Dad, FOR ONE AFTERNOON. That I somehow, when the house was FULL of people, "covered" for SM while she rifled through the Nana's room. She said she HEARD me say to SM "did you get anything good" & that she "patted her pockets" (like she had something in them). Never mind that the old biddy can't hear or see well. When I told her I don't even really know SM that well (my Dad's 3rd wife that he's only been married to for about 7 years & they've lived in a different state the whole time), she doesn't believe me & tells me I have "long" conversations with her. Which I never do & how in the world would she know that anyway?? When we were in our old house she accused my Dad & SM of stealing from her then, which everyone dismissed but apparently she's been "making a list", so to speak. She tells me I stole her phone with the big buttons on it....yes, her old, dirty, landline phone that was a huge eye sore & that no one would use but her. I think MIL conveniently LOST the phone in the move because she didn't like it. Then she starts saying do I want DH & his family to know what kind of a person I am & what kind of a family I come from. That I'm a liar & a thief. Nothing I said mattered to her. In her mind she knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm guilty of these things. I have known from stories DH's family has told me that she is a negative person who "sees conspiracies", as they said. But I have never in my life been the target of such harsh & hurtful & utterly false accusations. I have honestly & continually tried to be nice to this woman. Not because I'm overly fond of her but because I feel sorry for her. No one in this house does more for her than I do & that's the honest truth. MIL isn't here all the time. DH is a guy, enough said. And this is what I get for my efforts. Let me just say here....WE LET THIS WOMAN LIVE WITH US!! We asked her for nothing, we wouldn't take her money when she tried to pay us for room & board. I do the grocery shopping around here. She eats my food that I buy with MY money that I make. Not DH, because he's a full time student. Not MIL, cause she's not here all the time (although she does also buy groceries when she's here). She uses our things. I am in hell living with her. No one believes her, everyone's telling me that but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I know I didn't do anything she accused me of, I know they are behind me but for the rest of DH's Nana's life she is going to believe these things about me!! And we have to LIVE with her!! I don't know how to just ignore her. I don't know how to be the better person when she has hurt me so much. I don't know how to get through this time living with her.

DH should be done with his pre-requisites for Pharmacy school by next May. That is the soonest we can move. I'm trying so hard to look at the big picture right now...we live here rent free, we have virtually no bills & are really blessed to have DH's parents helping us this way. I know it's not going to last forever. I have my two little angels & need to focus on them & DH & MIL, not her. But still, she's here. This negative, pathetic, sad presence in the house. I was talking to FIL & he was so sad for me & knows how it feels to be on the receiving end of her filthy lies & accusations. He actually told me that the reason he's not living here is because of her. Because she's always treated HIM badly since he & MIL got married. He's not living with his wife because his MIL lives here! Sad.

I feel badly too because I don't want to cause drama for MIL. She is the Nana's only daughter & is a saint for letting her live with her & not putting her in a home. I've also been told that the Nana has been harsh with MIL her whole life too. I've seen it on a couple occasions, but nothing like she was with me yesterday. I guess I'm the scapegoat cause I'm not her blood family. If that was my mother, I could never live with her. She doesn't hear or see very well, but other than that she's pretty healthy. Though people are starting to think she has some form of dementia or something.

And here's the kicker. The part that makes it ALMOST humorous. The things that are being stolen from her...yeah, an old electric can opener, old half used bottles of shampoo & nail polish remover. You know, things that are REALLY hot commodities & everyone would want (insert very heavy sarcasm). I mean...come on! Are you freaking serious?! Oh...and other things she apparently cannot remember but "knows" are missing. How do you argue that??

I hate that she made me so upset that DD was crying & kept trying to hug me & comfort me. I hate that she got to me like that. I know that no one believes her but it doesn't matter. I've never been so falsely & viciously accused of anything like that before. I've never really hated someone before. I'm not sure I know what real hatred is like but I imagine it's something like what I'm feeling towards her. And that's just sad, just really, really sad. Nice, huh?

Edited to correct spelling (too upset still to spell right...feeble attempt at humour).

[Puddy73]

Big hugs! It is so, so hard to be the brunt of such negativity and to not want to respond in a like manner.

DH's grandmother occasionally behaves like this and it turns out that small strokes are a contributing factor. Or perhaps another medical condition is causing the problem. Would your MIL be willing to take her to a neurologist to be evaluated?

Jennifer
Mommy to Annabelle 9/08/03 & Finn 10/31/05

"If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane." - Jimmy Buffett