what am i doing!!!!!!!!!!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[wendmatt]

Deep Breaths. You are strong, you DON'T need a cigarette. That's such a huge achievement giving up, don't go back. Get some nicotine gum or something, I'm not an expert but I know you really shouldn't smoke again.
DH gave up last year and he's lost about 20lbs from eating sensibly and working out, so you don't need the smokes to lose the weight. Sounds like you are working out so that's good, but you REALLY need to eat as well. Eat salad or veggies or grilled chicken anything, but don't starve yourself, you'll get hungry and gorge or you'll just get sick, aside from the fact that your body will start holding onto fat as it thinks t here are no more calories coming.
I really sound like a man trying to solve everything don't I! Sorry, but you sound really desperate and You've come so far.
As for wanting answers from your x, hopefully he'll apologise but if he did things as bad as it sounds like he did, he may just not have a conscience. I don't think it's bad to want answers, but it's kind of strange that you are thinking about it at the same time as everything else that's going on. Have you got anyone to talk to? Is your DH a good listener? Maybe go see the doctor and get some diet advice. Working out is a great start, but don't make yourself sick by not eating.
Sending you big hugs, hope you sort things out in yourself.
DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE DON'T SMOKE!

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.

[MarisaSF]

Becky-
I am concerned about you and want to give you a big hug right now. It sounds to me like you are having major anxiety issues. A physician, therapist, and even some prescription medications could do a lot to help. Do you have a doctor you can call to talk to and see?

About the letter, I know writing letters like that can be quite cathartic. Many people suggest writing them to get thoughts and feelings off your chest and then ripping them up. The thoughts are out in the universe whether you hear back from him or not. It's not unhealthy to write out your feelings. Have you already mailed the letter?

The only healthful way to lose weight is through diet and exercise. Please start eating healthfully and take each day as it comes. You look great, Mama, take care of yourself.