A b!tch about my sisters piece of &^%$*&^ husband.

[pixiepoo]

My younger sister was married almost a year ago. She has a 7 year old son from a previous relationship. Well she gets pregnant a few months later & she is now 7 months pregnant with a baby girl. My entire family discouraged this marriage because this guy has been in and out of trouble ever since high school (hes 34 now). He currently has a house arrest bracelet on his ankle (please tell me thats not what attracted her to him :) the amazing things is he pretty much goes wherever he wants & does whatever he wants. I found out this weekend that is because he actually sends money to the individual that does the monitoring. How corrupt is that? Still trying to find out who I need to report that to. Anyway, needless to say she didnt listen to us & married him. They move about 2 hours away & seem to be doing ok. That is until we get a call last Thursday from my sister. Her husband has hit & kicked her. They were in an arguement b/c he stayed gone all weekend and spent ever dime they had. Everything. She has suspected drug use, but this of course has confirmed her suspicisions. My mom told her to get out of the house. She had to call the police to get her keys from him. Now it seems to me that he would be a prime candidate to be carted off to jail. He has abused his wife who is 7 months pregnant and he is on house arrest. But they give her the option & she told them she just wanted to leave. So the family goes & gets her things on Friday while her husband is working. He had taken her clothes & the things we have bought for the baby & threw them in teh dumpster outside of their apartment.
So now she has nothing. No money, he certainly wont give her anything on his own. She cant afford an attorney to get temporary support & legal aid told her to sign up on welfare which is obscene because he makes enough to provide for her. She will not be able to work, noone would consider hiring her at this point in her pregnancy. She is devastated. My parents will help her of course and I will help her, but I am sick at my stomach for her. I know nothing I say to her will make her feel better.
I know this is bad of me but I want that jerk to pay.
Heather

[TraciG]

sounds like a loser, I hope your sister doesn't go back with him ! Good luck !

[egfmba]

If he's wearing a monitor, he's been ordered to by the court. So, you just have to find out what county/district ordered it and contact the district attorney's office or probation/parole. They'll be able to track him down by name, etc, and his case manager can report him to the judge. If he's paying the monitoring company to ignore him ignoring court orders, then the company is in violation with its contract with the county/district. So, they're probably doing it with other convicts. People who need to be monitored. So, your reporting this abhorrent behavior would be a great boon to the community.

You can call the police and allege abuse, but they'll investigate, and depending on the law in your state, they may need your sister to complain. Is she willing? If so, by all means, allege. Even if not, allege, because they may make him give a urine sample for a drug test and pop him for violation of his probation/parole conditions during the investigation. At least this way, you'll know your sister's safe. And, with hubby in jail, she can safely start divorce proceedings w/o fear of further abuse.

You can probably do all this anonymously. Just say you will only report the information anonymously because you are worried about retaliation from your BIL. Officers and courts understand that your safety and your sister's safety are first. Investigations can be done around that.

Tell your sister to call a women's shelter for legal guidance. I'm sure they've dealt with women in her situation (no money, no belongings) and can help her get child support and keep herself safe.

Good luck, and stay safe.

eva

[saschalicks]

Heather,
I really hope your sister can see that she MUST stay away from this guy. I think that she should definitely apply for welfare and see if legal aide or a woman's group can help her abtain the legal help she needs. She needs to be sure to protect her children from this loser.

Additionally, I think you can call the court where the monitor was required and ask them where to report a violation. They are usually more then willing to help. The best think you can do for your sister, nephew and future niece is report him to the courts immediately. Also, as pp said anonymously report the drug abuse to his parole officer.

Hugs to you, your sister and your family. Thank G-d she has a family who loves her and will support her when she needs it most.

Good luck.

[pixiepoo]

I will contact the DA's Office tomorrow. I do have the guys name he sends the kickback to, so that should be beneficial. You are exactly right, the guy getting the kickback is certainly doing it for others.
I'm not sure my sister would make an abuse complaint. She is depressed and down on herself right now.
I do know someone that works for the DA's office so I will give her a call tomorrow.
Thanks for caring enough to give your great advice!
Heather

[pixiepoo]

She hasn't indicated she wants to go back. Despite her bad decisions she is a good mother & will stay away I am certain. I think she sees him for what he is.
thanks for the advice! I will be calling the DAs office first thing tomorrow.
Heather