I know that I don't understand what it is like to have more than one kid but jeez!

[gatorsmom]

I've heard this said to people before and I roll my eyes to myself. First off, I think going from no children to one is THE BIGGEST adjustment. What a huge change!!! Going from 1 to 2 is hard, but not as hard (and I say that from the lucky perspective of having had an easy first child and challenging second). I mean, with a second you've gained some confidence and experience. You know what pitfalls to avoid. And frankly, with 2 children you still have a hand for each of them. Why the heck couldn't she take them on a bus?

Now, I'm a bit freaked about going from 2 to 4 kids, frankly, but my friends with 4+ children all say that after the third kid, it's all uphill. I guess we'll see.

I agree with the pps who said that a lot depends on the children. One difficult child can really make outings challenging. But I also think a LOT depends on the parent. How well they are organized, how easily they are distracted, how well they are able to discipline/control their children- all of that makes a difference in how manageable their own lives are. But it's easier for some parents to make comments like your friend's than to accept that they have some personal shortcomings.

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!

[SnuggleBuggles]

"And frankly, with 2 children you still have a hand for each of them. Why the heck couldn't she take them on a bus? "

Hee Hee- that's just what dh said. :) Of course, he sees parents on the bus every day with 3+ kids (one has 6!) so he really doesn't understand.

Beth

[tarabenet]

This is such an interesting thread. The general discussion, the different philosophies, all of it is really cool to think over. As always, what a great bunch of insightful mommies on the BBB!

But on the specific idea that was shot down by the friend, prompting the OP? Bwahahaha! There's a huge -- I mean really HUGE -- bunch of mommies in this country who have no choice but to take their 2+ kids on the bus if they need to go anywhere out of walking distance. And plenty throughout the world who can't even imagine what it would be like not to rely on mass transit. How many New York mommies have cars? And how many of them have more than one or two kiddos? A good friend of mine had to take her 2-year old and newborn twins all over Boston on the bus, with the babies in double slings. Her "DH" left her when the second BFP turned up twins, and she did everything all by herself. FTR, her daughters (all out of HS now)came through it just fine!

[gatorsmom]

I forgot to mention that very soon your friend won't be able to say that to you anymore!!! ;)

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!

[Marisa6826]

Well said.

I think that a LOT depends on the age spread between kiddos. It didn't help that I had major health complications - including a fierce PPD - with the second delivery.

No matter what, it's kind of like always herding cats. And just when they get old enough to make it marginally easier, they start ganging up on you. ;)

Wouldn't change it for anything, though. Well, maybe for a little more peace and quiet...

-m

[Fairy]

Sing it, sister.

[kijip]

>This is such an interesting thread. The general discussion,
>the different philosophies, all of it is really cool to think
>over. As always, what a great bunch of insightful mommies on
>the BBB!
>
>But on the specific idea that was shot down by the friend,
>prompting the OP? Bwahahaha! There's a huge -- I mean really
>HUGE -- bunch of mommies in this country who have no choice
>but to take their 2+ kids on the bus if they need to go
>anywhere out of walking distance. And plenty throughout the
>world who can't even imagine what it would be like not to rely
>on mass transit. How many New York mommies have cars? And
>how many of them have more than one or two kiddos? A good
>friend of mine had to take her 2-year old and newborn twins
>all over Boston on the bus, with the babies in double slings.
>Her "DH" left her when the second BFP turned up twins, and she
>did everything all by herself. FTR, her daughters (all out of
>HS now)came through it just fine!

Agreed. I see families of 4-6 (usually just with one parent or caregiver) on the bus a lot here. You deal- most of the time I was little my parents had three kids and no car at all. Not everyone has cars or can afford the cost of car ownership.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That herding cats line is too funny! I actually used it when talking to my friend with 3 in 3 years (oldest will be 5 next month). She had them so well organized and staying put. I said if I were her I wouldn't be nearly as good- I'd look like I was trying to herd cats. :)

Beth

[C99]

I have taken 1 kid on the bus, 2 kids on the bus, have not yet attempted 3 on the bus by myself. It is hard, and I thank goodness every time I do it that I don't *have to* take the bus most of the time.