I am just so incredibly hurt.

[masha12]

Here's my 2 possible theories:

(1) He was once into you and she is not convinced that he is over you. He might not still be into you, but he might not be completely over you either. There is a gray area in there that is sometimes hard for people to acknowledge; he might not still want to go out with you, but he might not be ready to totally let go.

My husband was in the gray area when I met him. The best thing that happened to us was that she move away with her fiance a month after we met. She is very nice (she was invited to and attended our wedding) and I never had any fear that she would "steal" him from me. But, he held her up on a pedestal for a long time and frankly, if she had still been around, I probably would have gotten tired of it.

My husband denied it at the time, but he admitted a few years later that when we started dating he wasn't completely over her. I told him I knew that and we had a good laugh at his lack of self-awareness.

(2) Even if he was never romantically interested in you, if he talks about you like you are the most awesome person in the whole wide world all the time, well, if I were her I'd have some concerns about whether there was lurking interest or just be annoyed by his failure to see your faults.

In either case, I think she would be justified in feeling threatened. And, there is nothing you can do because the issue has to do with the friend and nothing to do with you or your feelings. Of course, the appropriate response is not to uninvite you to the wedding but to get some counseling about the relationship.

About the only thing you can do is to gush to her the next time you see her about how happy you are that your friend found someone so wonderful. That might at least let her know that regardless of your friend's feelings for you, you are happily married and are thrilled that he found someone to be happily married to also.

[masha12]

Here's my 2 possible theories:

(1) He was once into you and she is not convinced that he is over you. He might not still be into you, but he might not be completely over you either. There is a gray area in there that is sometimes hard for people to acknowledge; he might not still want to go out with you, but he might not be ready to totally let go.

My husband was in the gray area when I met him. The best thing that happened to us was that she move away with her fiance a month after we met. She is very nice (she was invited to and attended our wedding) and I never had any fear that she would "steal" him from me. But, he held her up on a pedestal for a long time and frankly, if she had still been around, I probably would have gotten tired of it.

My husband denied it at the time, but he admitted a few years later that when we started dating he wasn't completely over her. I told him I knew that and we had a good laugh at his lack of self-awareness.

(2) Even if he was never romantically interested in you, if he talks about you like you are the most awesome person in the whole wide world all the time, well, if I were her I'd have some concerns about whether there was lurking interest or just be annoyed by his failure to see your faults.

In either case, I think she would be justified in feeling threatened. And, there is nothing you can do because the issue has to do with the friend and nothing to do with you or your feelings. Of course, the appropriate response is not to uninvite you to the wedding but to get some counseling about the relationship.

About the only thing you can do is to gush to her the next time you see her about how happy you are that your friend found someone so wonderful. That might at least let her know that regardless of your friend's feelings for you, you are happily married and are thrilled that he found someone to be happily married to also.