Oh, and by the way...

[JoyNChrist]

DH, asking someone who's on antidepressants if she's taken her medication when she's in a bad mood is like asking a woman if she's having her period when she's being bitchy. It's annoying and insensitive and will under no circumstances lead to you getting laid.



(Sorry guys, I'm grouchy tonight.)

[kijip]

Hugs, that is a PITA. Hope you are feeling better.

[tarabenet]

Stacy, I'm so sorry!

But I have a serious suggestion: when you are feeling a whole lot better, like enough better to actually *want* to have a civil conversation with him again ;), talk to him about ways he might approach the topic. My DH is very good at asking me in a loving way, rather than accusing way, if I'm taking my meds, if I've eaten well, if maybe there are hormones making my world cloudy -- the kinds of things that I might have let slide by me. It turned out that for me, it had a LOT to do with tone of voice. That and we use our own little code phrase. Any time he starts with "Sweetie, I mean this with all possible love . . . " (using the proper tone of voice, of course!) I know he is bringing up a touchy touchy topic, but he is doing it to help me fix things for myself. It really helps me get in touch with why I'm having such a bad day, etc.

Now, in your world right now, there are some darn good reasons why you may be having some very bumpy days. They didn't come up with sleep deprivation torture outta nowhere, after all. And you've taken on a ton of extra work, and there is just no way in the world you are being shown the appreciation you deserve for all the sacrfices it requires. I know that "appreciation" isn't why you volunteered anyway, but it sure can help a girl feel better.

Anyway, I didn't mean to overlook all that *at all* in making my suggestion. And if you don't think you can trust your DH to get the tone right, then skip it anyway. Just sharing that sometimes, when done exactly right, it can be helpful. But that "done exactly right" thing is a darn fine balance for a guy to achieve, I have to admit.

Meanwhile, and much more importantly, a big kick in the hiney to your DH for only making things worse. I'm sending him some really strong "Dude! Get a clue!" vibes on your behalf. And sending you some major hug vibes. You are an awesome woman.

[JoyNChrist]

Thanks y'all.

And Benet, I totally understand where you're coming from. I actually told DH when I started the meds that, even though I try really hard to remember to take them, he should nicely ask if he notices that I'm acting weird or something. But I stressed that he should not do so in the middle of an argument or if I'm obviously mad at *him*, and that he should be very careful about his tone.

And the other day, he definitely forgot. x(

But he's been very sweet since then, so I guess I'll keep him. ;-)

[tarabenet]

Ah, well, in that case . . . . If he does it again, tell him you are required by Universal Female Code to kick his fanny! Tone is just so important, isn't it? I'm not sure why some guys just don't get that. You'd think that surviving to adulthood would be an indicator that they had figured some of this stuff out, but somehow, no go.