Mommy's Own and Daddy's Own

[stillplayswithbarbies]

Do you think it makes sense to have a forum just for mommies and one just for daddies? I know that people can't be restricted, but I would hope that we would respect each other's space and not post in the other forum even if we were eavesdropping there.

There have been several issues where mommies wanted to post something just to other mommies and they tried hiding in the Mommy Fit forum, but that didn't work. Maybe if there was a forum specifically for that purpose, people would feel better about it?

Could it be a restricted forum? Maybe only after you have been a member for 60 days and have so many posts, you would be allowed into either the Mommy or the Daddy forum, and only members could read and post?

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[Rachels]

Great idea!!!!!!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[flagger]

How do you propose to verify everyone's gender? There are 8169 members as of this post. I certainly am not going to scan in my driver's license to verify my identity and it sounds like a logistical nightmare.

[houseof3boys]

I like the mixed forums personally. Although privacy may have been violated on the last risque post, hopefully that is the exception and not the rule.

I think people would find a way to just sneak around it and find a way in anyway.

[peanut4us]

Generally, I like the idea. But i don't know logistically how to do it, and I'm not sure that the Ffields would want to have forums where guests couldn't read. Dunno, but a guess.

In that thread that went bad... someone made a light-hearted suggestion to start a BBB_mommiesonly yahoo group. It would be moderated and have restrictions to enter (like number of posts etc, so we can make sure we know you a bit first). As Flagger implied, we couldn't guarantee that there would be no members of the opposite sex that squeaked into the wrong forum, but it would be a more intimate setting... and well, we do get to know each other a bit around here. It wouldn't be that difficult to pick out the men... I would think.

That's a suggestion if the Fields don't go for yours.

[stillplayswithbarbies]

I guess it would be run on the honor system. You know, where we respect each other and treat each other like the adults that we are.

I just think that having a forum that spells out "this is for mommies to support each other" and "this is for daddies to support each other" might help people to realize that it isn't a good idea to just barge in where they don't fit.

I don't think anyone here would deliberatly post in the "wrong" place, there is no one here that rude, is there?

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[Rachels]

I agree. Speaking as someone who would occasionally post in a mom forum, I have to say that if there's a man here who would masquerade as a woman in order to barge in on discussions to which he wasn't invited...well, then, posting in the wrong forum might not be his biggest problem.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[flagger]

How would anyone propose that you keep Alan out since he had admin privileges on this message board?

Basically this entire forum IS a website of just women only. I think there are only about three or four active MALE posters anyway. IMHO, telling someone they are not welcome is just wrong in so many ways. The idea comes across to me as "I want to be able to post what I want, and the only people who can respond is people who agree with me." The idea that a daddy forum would generate any traffic to warrant it is pretty silly too given the numbers of males on this forum.

The idea that someone's privacy was violated on an open forum on the internet (as someone posted) is pretty outrageous. Just remember even if you do get to have a women only forum either here or elsewhere doesn't mean someone won't share what is posted with a male. This idea also gets way way far away from what I thought this site was all about and that was Baby Bargains and products and just further sends a message that a few want to splinter the discourse.

I believe there already IS a BBB yahoo group that is mom's only. I joined it last year to help someone figure out why their avatar was not working and was made to feel that a man wasn't welcome there so I pulled my membership. Why bring that sort of feeling of exclusion to a public message board?

[Rachels]

> The idea comes across to me as "I want
>to be able to post what I want, and the only people who can
>respond is people who agree with me."

Since when do all women agree?

I think Karen's idea is just respectful of the fact that there are some things in the female experience (like breastfeeding and giving birth) that men simply can't imagine or relate to, no matter how wonderful they may be. I imagine there are things in the male experience beyond a woman's visceral understanding, as well. I don't think this is about exclusion. It's about a particular kind of inclusion. Where's the threat?

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[flagger]

I will just say that I wholeheartedly disagree with this idea. And will repeat what I said before. If anyone wants a forum or board for women only, they should start their own and invite only women. Why does this board have to be all things for all people?

Thankfully it is not my decision and it is not anyone else's but the Field's.