Anyone else have a VERY attached 2 1/2 year old child ?

[TraciG]

I am Sydney's best friend, her number 1 playmate, I have always played with her since she's born, done what she's wanted but now my DH's is wondering if she's too attached. We were out last night & as usual I had to be with her wherever she went, she wont go in another room to play with her second cousin unless i'm there too, well maybe once in a while she will but not for long without me, maybe 5 minutes if that long !

My DH's Aunt's friend brought her babysitter / nanny & my DH's Aunt figured the kids, ( besides Sydney & her cousin there were 2 others )
could play in the basement & the adults could hang out upstairs, YEAH RIGHT !! So my DH is also wondering if our princess seems spoiled to other parents ( well I know she kind of is spoiled, hard not to with the first adorable child !!!!! )


Are there other mommy's out there that have to follow their child around & play with them basically all the time ?? I have always followed Sydney at home, otherwise she can get into trouble here & there & especially when we're out like at my MIL I follow her constantly, not baby proofed at all . I wonder how will Sydney be in September when I'm planning on her going to nursery school, I can't even imagine it !!!!!!!! I'm sure you'll be hearing more about that from me in the middle of the summer !!

[new_mommy25]

Sounds very normal to me :) .

[stella]

Honestly, at 2.5, I would expect her to be a little more interested in the other kids and what they're doing. I wouldn't expect her to go off with stranger (babysitter) to the basement alone, but I would go with her for 10-15 minutes to make sure she's happy and comfortable (and that I was comfortable with the surroundings) and then leave and explain that I'd be back. My own children would have been fine with my leaving as long as there were some toys, but I know that chidlren have different temperaments.

Does she ever stay with a babysitter when you and dh go out?
How accustomed is she to playing with other children?

[TraciG]

NEVER left Sydney with a stranger only family, she plays with other kids at the park but always want's me to play too. She would never have stayed in the basement without me even if I stayed there with her for a while . I am in trouble for September arent I ( school ! )

[shishamo]

She sounds normal to me, too, don't worry about it. Some children takes more time before warming up!

[dhano923]

I agree that at 2 1/2 she should be able to play on her own. Why do you follow her around at home? I'm assuming your home is babyproofed, so I'm not sure why you would feel the need to follow her. She's just used to having you with her all the time so she needs to learn how to be independent.

At home, I would leave her on her own more. If she is playing with her toys, play with her for a bit and then tell her "Mommy is going to go read a book on the sofa". Stay in the room with her, but have her play on her own. If she fusses, tell her that she's can play on her own because she's a big girl. You'll have to be firm about it and nt give in too. Since she's used to having you with her all the time, you'll basically have to "train" her to be more independent. I would start now because in school, the teacher isn't always going to be able to give her all the attention she wants.

My son isn't like this (he's the opposite -- very independent and doesn't want us to play with him!) but my friend's daughter was clingy and my friend started leaving her with a babysitter one day a week to get her used to not having her around in the morning. She used the time to run errands.

[barbarhow]

Burton White's book "Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child addresses the need for children to learn to play independently as well as the need for parents to allow the child to play independently. It is one of the milestones that children face. It might help for you to get a book on stages of growth and development to see where she falls in the big picture. There are many ranges of "normal" but at this age I would expect that she would be able to play independently for periods. It is not too late to help her learn to do so.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03, a Red Sox fan
and Anna 5/12/05, my little Yankee fan!

[TraciG]

thanks for the book recommendation, have to go to the library this week I'll see if they have it or if they can get it.

[pinkmomagain]

Reading your post I would not be as concerned about your dc wanting you around/nearby, but I would be concerned about not being able to play on her own/or with other kids without you playing too. I agree with pp that teaching children to play independently is very important. I think you are asking this question at a great time, since you can work on this with dc in the months ahead leading up to Sept separation at nursery school.

JMHO,

Gina

[brigmaman]

Brig was the same way at that age. I thought that we'd have separation issues when he started school this past fall (he was 37 months) but he happily went into class and didn't look back. I think it's easier for him to socialize if I'm not there at all.