Struggling with guilt...

[kayte]

My MIL bought my DD some very expensive clothing (Strasburg) last summer that was just not our style. I am embarrassed to say that DD never wore them. We have decided to get DD a Tripp Trapp and I am selling the clothes from MIL to help pay for it. On one hand I feel guilty for selling the gifts but on the other hand it's not like I am selling them to buy something frivolous--I know we will have the chair for a long time. So if you think I am a horrible person, please don't respond (LOL!!!Just kidding --let me have it!) but if you have done something similar please come clean (if only just to me) to make me feel better.

Thanks!

[deannamorrison]

I have done nearly the same thing and it came back to bite me in the...well, you get the idea.
My MIL bought my children clothing that I did not like(In fact, I had made it clear while pregnant that I wanted to be in charge of baby's wardrobe; it was one of my "things") and I ebayed/returned them to get money for other sorts of gear...
Well,MIL found out and it was not pretty. She was/is so mad about it that to do this day she gives my children gifts without the original tags and/or packaging to ensure I don't sell them or return them to get something else in its place! Personally, I think it's obnoxious.
Good luck to you but be careful!

[dr mom]

I don't think you should feel at all guilty. As I work toward the goal of simplifying my life, I've had to learn to let things go - including unwanted objects (knicknacks or gifts) that don't add beauty or functionality to our home. It's ok to accept a gift in the spirit in which it was given, thank the giver kindly, and then find the gift a home where it WILL be used and enjoyed. Sometimes that means Goodwill or ebay, if the gift doesn't happen to suit your taste or lifestyle.

Maybe next time, snap a quick photo of DD wearing the clothes (so MIL gets to see her enjoying them) before you re-home them.

[saschalicks]

I've told my family & DH's family on numerous occasions that we sell half the toys that the boys have twice a year at a consignment sale. I'm not secretive about the fact that we downsize. We live in a 2 bedroom apt and we just don't have the room. In order to bring in more we have to thin the herd. Don't feel bad, you are doing the right thing. My children for the holidays got so many toys it was sick. Some to this day they haven't even looked at.

[sdbc]

You could snap a quick picture of DD in them (hiding the tags), then ebay away. I probably wouldn't come clean about it, though. If MIL asked, I'd probably just say DD outgrew them. Just a little white lie.

That said, my MIL doesn't buy our DD much. She forgot her birthday last year...

[gatorsmom]

My mom died when my oldest son was only 18 months old. She bought him gifts of clothes, and toys several times and a stuffed animal a month before she died. I treasure that stuff- they are some of the only gifts that my son will have from his maternal grandmother.

I am all about simplifying my life and cutting down on clutter and unused stuff, but what about saving one outfit? You just never know when someone won't be in your life anymore. I don't mean to give any guilt trips, or to say that you have to treasure every bit of junk that has come into your life, but she is your DD's grandmother. That is just something so special...

[tarabenet]

Why is this a bad thing? I'm sure that your MIL would be pleased to know that her gifts were sold later to buy something useful. She never needs to know that you got more for them because they were never worn!

A friend of mine talks about "the tyranny of the gift". It is a great phrase! Someone gives you something, and you feel you have to keep it, use it, whatever, whether you like the thing or not. Break free from the tyranny, mama! And the guilt.

[KrisM]

I'm guessing that if they were for last summer, they are probably too small now anyway. So, you might be selling them regardless of whether or not they were worn. Would you feel guilty for selling them if she had worn them?

[SummerBaby]

I have a family member who buys DD tons of clothing. Not only is a lot of it way too fancy, the brand she likes doesn't fit DD well. Much of it has gone unworn, and I'm unable to return it because we don't have a store in my city. I've sold quite a bit of it, and then I use the money to buy DD other, more practical clothes. Don't feel guilty! In my opinion, I feel worse letting the clothes go unworn.

edited because I'm paranoid!

[roysmom]

Let me start by saying that my DS has a very large extended family. I ended up taking $150 worth of toys back to Wal-Mart from his birthday party. We let him keep 4 gifts that night...he got to take them out of the box, I put about 4 or so up to open later, and I took all the rest back. If asked, I will tell what I did, but I am not going to volunteer the information. I think children have too much these days. Yes, I know there are some who are doing without, but my child gets WAAAY too much stuff. I took the money and put it in his savings account. I don't blame you for selling the clothes. Of course, my MIL is one of those people that if she knew I took her gift back, she would get her feelings hurt. I truely don't understand those people. She is just an extremely sensitive person.