how independent is your 18 month old????

[veronica]

I was hoping that DD would be able to play independently more by now (as I am 8 1/2 months pregnant). But that doesn't seem to be the case. She can maybe do about 5 minutes of looking at her books or playing with a toy but the minute I move to change laundry, do to the bathroom, etc. she is on her feet following me. It is getting so tough since I can barely get on the floor to play or get up these days. Now that the weather is nice, she tries to follow the dogs outstide when I let them out and I just can't be out there in the heat with her, especially since she won't explore on her own.

Is this normal. I type this now as she is standing between my legs!

[Wife_and_mommy]

Both my kids are pretty good about it but wanted to suggest that you have her "help" you with your chores. Even a wet paper towel(to clean the cabinet door or like) in the bathroom will make her feel
*so* important.

Hth.




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I love them most when they are sleeping.--Me
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[gatorruth]

I would recommend that you start telling her 'be patient' and waiting a few minutes before you cater to her. This will be necessary when #2 comes along in a few weeks. I like the pp's idea about the paper towel. You can also give her a swiffer wipe- and she can really help!

Good luck!
Ruth

[SummerBaby]

My DD will be 3 on July 28th and she still doesn't really play on her own, so I sympathize. However, I've finally gotten across to her that Mommy needs to rest sometimes (I'm 32 weeks pg and very uncomfortable) so at least I'm not jumping, running, crawling, etc. anymore. Now she will bring toys to me while I sit on the couch. As for going outside, I am just saying no at this point. She has gotten used to it now (and of course I feel guilty).

Val
DD 2.5 years old
another summer baby coming in 2007!

[miki]

My DD was not able to think of something to play with on her own and then occupy herself for long periods of time until about 2.5-3 years. And by a long time I mean at least 30-60 minutes. Before then, I had to present something to her that would keep her interested--a big storage container full of pasta and beans, rolls of colorful crepe paper, homemade goop, a few colors of fingerpaint in the shower, etc. I'd give her things that she could explore in her own way and that would keep her occupied. But at 18 months, she was not able to play by herself with her own toys and books for very long.

[maestramommy]

my dd is able to entertain herself only with her books, and it can last a long time. but she has some kind of built-in radar for when I'm on the computer. As long as I'm doing some household task I can put her off with a, "just a minute, not yet, not right now, can you wait?" But if I'm on the computer she senses it from another room and comes running with a book for me to read and will NOT be put off. I have been very lucky in that her main bid for attention is reading a story, but it could get draining when I had to read the same book several times in a row, and sitting was most uncomfy. Now that dd2 is here she is actually more patient, and I'm trying to find ways to attend to her while nursing/toting a baby.

[jeniferrlynne]

My honest opinion is that it is really a personality thing. My 19m son is very independent and has just always been that way (my mom said I was the same way as the oldest as well). I have nieces/nephews who are of the same 2 parents but both have very different levels of independence, regardless of how old they have gotten and how many siblings are added to the mix. Same with my nephews on the other side of the family. I do believe you can teach them a little as they age, but some things are just inborn. Though I think birth order can be factor at times.

[Jenn98]

I agree! Find ways to get her to "help mama." It takes longer sometimes, but it really eases your sanity when you have to get stuff done. I've had DD#1 load laundry into the washer, into the dryer, into the laundry basket, etc. Or I give her a baby wipe and she "cleans." I have also had her play mommy to her dolls when I'm with DD#2. She has put them to bed, nursed them, rocked them, etc. I have also had her do stuff just for her little sister like bringing her toys. And when all else fails, we turn on Little Bear!

My girls are 17 months apart, and everyone told me I was nuts to have them so close in age. But I have really loved having them this close. Those first few months can be really hard, but once you get into a rhythm it is awesome! Good luck mama!

[BeachBum]

I think your child is totally normal. Even at 21 months my son will not really play alone. I might be able to get him started on an activity occasionally and leave him for 10 minutes but it has to be unique/really fun.
There is no way that my kiddo could do anything without me for 30 min. (except watch tv).

As for playing outside that is where he is most able to entertain himself. He will play in the sandbox, water the flowers, play in his cozy coupe, push his lawnmower while I read a magazine nearby. But if I try to get on the computer he comes running!

[brownlesa]

My DD is 21 months and she is not very independent, but she is getting better as she gets older. She will play w/her toys or watch a video alone for about 15 minutes at the most.

A few months ago, I couldn't be out of her sight for even a minute. Maybe she was in a seperation anxiety phase and worried that I wouldn't come back? I'm hoping that with each month, she'll play alone longer and longer.

I agree w/the PP that it is a personality thing. My nephew plays alone for long stretches and he's 15 months.

Good Luck.
Leslie