Peeing on the door mat - What do I do? - UPDATE

[August Mom]

Okay, what's up with this? DS has been doing okay with potty training. I was really proud of him this morning. We went to playgroup at someone's house and DS both peed and pooped on the potty. Then, we come home and he won't sit on our potty. He screamed tensed up, etc. He said he didn't have to go. Okay. We go for a bike ride. It's now been almost 3 hours since he's gone and it's getting time to nap. So, I tell DS he needs to sit on the potty. Same thing - screams, says he doesn't have to go. No incentive is enough - he won't even sit on the potty. So we leave the bathroom. He goes and stands on the door mat inside the sliding door in the kitchen and proceeds to pee in his pants. He seems proud that he peed on the door mat. So, we change, etc. and he takes his nap. He wakes up dry and I'm impressed. But, I again try to get him to sit on the potty. I tell him I always have to go when I wake up from sleeping, etc. He screams at the top of his lungs, cries, won't sit down, etc. We are supposed to be meeting DH for supper and I explain that he can't ride in the car without at least trying to go potty. I say if he sits and can't go that's okay. He won't sit down, runs away, screams and cries. We finally give up on the going out to eat idea and DH heads home. DS again goes over to the door mat and pees in his pants.

What is going on? What should I do? Any advice would be appreciated.

UPDATE: Thanks everybody for the great advice. I think the real issue was that we were trying to get DS to sit on the potty when we wanted him to and he didn't like that. He wanted to tell us when he had to go, not us guessing when he had to go. We backed off (per advice here) and things have been much better. Also, interestingly, he had been very opposed to wearing a pullup, but now wants a pullup on all the time, with underwear over the top and stays dry through naps and overnight. However, it seems to give him more confidence because he knows that if he would have an accident, we won't have as big of a mess. We're doing great now and I'm ready to say he's potty trained, but I won't because that will jinx me! (I swear DS must read this site).

[amp]

I haven't the foggiest idea what is going on, but my 1st thought was, "do they have a dog that he's seen pee there?" If not, I couldn't begin to guess.

Is he at all able to tell you why if you ask him, or is that not going to work?

[lisams]

Hmm, that's a tricky one to try and figure out, I also had the 'maybe he saw the dog do it' thought. Although I'm learning rather quickly that toddlers do strange things for no understandable reason. :-) Some days all I can do is scratch my head and wonder what she is thinking!

As far as getting him to go on the potty, one trick I have for DD when she is refusing to try and I know it's been a long time is say something like "That's fine, dolly needs to go, it's her turn" and I go and talk to the dolly and say "You really need to go don't you? Come on, lets go now so you can *play* after." Usually DD runs over and says she has to go. Then she helps her dolly go.

Good luck figuring this out, make sure you update us!!!

Lisa

[August Mom]

We do have a potty training doll that's been out of commission as of late. Perhaps I should bring him out of retirement.

As for the dog - we don't have one. When he peed on the mat, I did say "you're not a dog" or something like that, but this is just a strange toddler thing I guess.

I don't have much to update, except that he peed on another part of the kitchen floor and seemed very proud of himself that he didn't go on the doormat (as I requested).

He's still fighting sitting there, though. He says he's done before he even tries. Very frustrating.

[momofmany]

I'd suggest you back off - it seems like using the toilet has become a power thing for your little guy. Perhaps tomorrow when he get up, just put him back in a diaper and say something like "you seem to have a hard time making it to the bathroom in your underwear. Today let's wear a diaper and we'll take it off when you need to use the toilet." I have found w/ my own children (4 of them) that the struggles with the toilet was centered in their need to get some power and when I backed off a bit they could get themselves back on track. My experience is that the transition to the toilet is not a linear experience; you often have to stop and regroup every now and then with the child because it is a very big experience to them. Also, maybe he's trying to communicate that there is too much going on right now - the playgroup outing and dinner out on the same day might have been too much and it's coming out in the form of this toilet struggle. Also, maybe you want to think back about his play outing or visit with the other mothers at that event - was there something there that set him off? Just continue to love him where he's at and this too will pass. Good luck to you!

[trumansmom]

A random suggestion, but why not try teaching him to pee standing up? The novelty of it, and the desire to be like Daddy, may reawaken his desire to use the potty. Wearing boxers "like Daddy" was a BIG motivator to get DS to poop in the potty. He paraded around the house with his chest puffed out telling Daddy, "We're the same!" It was pretty cute.

Just a thought.

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04
Independent Consultant, Do-Re-Me & You!