I'm back. *sigh*

[trumansmom]

We really thought we were through. DS has been in underwear for about 5 months or so, and has been sleeping in underwear for about 3. However, all of a sudden, he's been having accidents almost every night. We have DRASTICALLY cut down the amount of liquids in the evening, have sent him to the potty 3 times between bath and bedtime, and still, every morning he wakes up around 5 wet. This has happened 5 out of the past 7 nights.

This morning I asked him gently if he thought it might be a good idea to start sleeping in diapers again for a while. His eyes got real big, and he said, "Yes, Mommy. I really think I should." And he looked so relieved! DH is furious withe me because he thinks I'm coddling him. I think there must be something going on.

What do you folks think?

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04
Independent Consultant, Do-Re-Me & You!

[muskiesusan]

Jeanne, I think you did the right thing. Nick still wears pull ups at night. He can go days being dry, and then days where he is soaked through. I don't get it and am at lost as what to do.

Has there been any changes like preschool starting? I wonder if something like that has played a role.

Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01
& Alex 04/04

[trumansmom]

Yup. We just started preschool, and Sunday school started up and they've changed his class twice. DS has always had a difficult time adjusting to new things, so I bet that's what it is. He loves both, I just think it's a stressful time for him.

He actually has even had a couple of accidents in the day as well. It's been a LONG time since that's happened.

I think I'm just going to give him the option of diapers or underwear every night for a while. We talked about it again this evening, and he was very clear that he did NOT want to wear underwear.

It's kind of heartbreaking, because I *know* he thinks he's letting us down. I'm trying so, so hard to make sure he knows that we support whatever he feels he needs to do. This kid really carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. *sigh*

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04
Independent Consultant, Do-Re-Me & You!

[kedss]

It does sound like the changes he's going through are part of what's going on. Definitely let him know that everything is ok, and take it slow with trying to go back to underwear. Maybe let him let you know when he's ready to try the underwear again? Its hard at that age, because it is such a big deal in preschool. Just try not to make it a big deal at home.

[Roleysmom]

This is one of those posts where I have only empathy, and no real advice! I almost posted here several times recently about Roley's toilet regression, but I didn't have the courage.

I think (fingers crossed) that we may have passed this hurdle, but for several weeks in July and August, she started having accidents nearly every day, sometimes multiple times in one day. Until that point, she hadn't had an accident in upwards of six/seven months. My first thought was that it was stress and related to any changes, but we hadn't started preschool yet and nothing else in our routine had changed. We were talking about school a lot to prepare her, so maybe that was it. I was at a loss about how to handle this. Eventually I settled on a combination of asking her multiple times if she had to go, making a big deal of when she made it on time (almost like when she first started to use the potty when she was 2!) and shoring up her confidence that I knew she could listen to her body. I also did the I'm disappointed in you, you're a big girl bit, but that freaked her out and I stopped that pretty quickly when I realized it was making her feel bad and definitely not helping.

Based on this experience and the way you described the relief Truman felt, I think you made the right decision to offer diapers. I know it must have been hard, it probably feels like going backwards to the very beginning (anything but that!), but it seems like it will give him a little extra confidence. Maybe it would help to really focus on the mornings where he didn't wet the diaper and use that success to build toward wearing underpants again?


Paula -- mom to Roley Julia, January '02

[momofmany]

I think you are right on track to follow the child's lead. The transition to the toilet is not a linear process - meaning they move forward, backward, have dry days, wet days, etc. Your little guy is undoubtly very grateful that you had the foresight to offer the alternative of diapers at night. it is awful for them to wake up cold and wet (and also for the mom, too). Gently encourage him and help him gain some confidence and this too will pass. (I have a child similar in temperment to Truman and we had similar issues). My best encouragement is just love him where he's at...it will get better.

[luvbeinmama]

FWIW, Keep an eye on his overnight diapers. See if you can get him back into the undies after a little bit of adjustment time. DS went through a couple times of 1-2 weeks of nighttime wetting problems, and then would go months without any problems. So I'm just saying it could be a temporary problem. Don't give up on the undies altogether, but a reprieve while he is adjusting to new stuff/schedule is fine I think.

[muskiesusan]

I think everything you are doing is right. Nick also had trouble with change and he had an accident at his school as well. He hasn't had an accident since the day he potty trained (I was lucky, he caught on quickly) almost a year ago. He also felt like he had done something wrong and let us done, so I just kept reassuming him.

I hope things settle down for Truman soon!

Susan
Mom to Nick 10/01
& Alex 04/04

[brubeck]

Amy took more than a year to nighttime train after being daytime trained. Honestly it's not that big a deal to change one diaper in the morning. You have to get them dressed anyway, right?

When Amy did eventually switch to no nighttime diaper we had to do the rewards thing all over again. I promised her that if she stayed dry all night she could wear special underwear, and she got to pick it out. It was ONLY for nighttime and ONLY if she were dry for the previous 3 nights in a row.

Hopefulyl this is a temporary hting but even if it is not don't worry about it. It will pass eventually. Hugs Jeanne!

[trumansmom]

Well, he slept in a diaper last night. He thought it was pretty funny. He must have asked a hundred times if it was Eleanor's diaper. I had to explain to him that it was one of his old ones.

This morning he woke up and he was wet. He got up, went to the bathroom and took off his diaper and changed into underwear.

This afternoon I pulled into the parking lot at Target. He asked me what we were going to get. When I told him we were going to get diapers for him he said,"Nope. I'm done with diapers. I'm going to sleep in underwear again." So, of course now I'm totally confused as to what to do. I guess he'll sleep in underwear and we'll just have extra sheets at the ready.

I have to say, DH and I both really appreciated the full night's sleep last night.

Keep your fingers crossed for him!

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/01 and Eleanor 4/04
Independent Consultant, Do-Re-Me & You!