Almost 3yo DS defecating all over the place :(

[SASM]

Ian is almost 3yo and we have been working regularly on potty training for the last couple of weeks. He has shown in several ways that he is ready ~ the main ones being that he was pulling off his pants and diaper (thankfully not in public) and telling us when he needs to pee or needs a diaper change. Unfortunately, he has been whipping off his diaper at nap time and smearing feces all over his room (it looks as though he tries to clean it up). He has done this 3 or 4 times. Today he did a new thing by trying this out in the morning! :( While I was still in my room, he went downstairs and whipped of his dirty diaper in my living room!! Thankfully, the feces only found its way into my oatmeal berber rug and the coffee table and not the upholstered furniture. We have tried pullups and underwear, timers, rewards, etc. He knows the big reward that he will get when he poops on the potty and constantly mentions it. I try to be routine and calm but firm, however, my patience is dwindling. I KNOW that this is deliberate and not a mistake ~ it's all about control ~ but OMG what can I do?!!! He seems to urinate into the potty without a problem and, while using pull-ups or underwear, seems to be holding it in okay. Someone suggested that I have him help clean up the mess but, as great as that sounds, he makes even more of a mess. Someone also suggested that I have him sit in it but I do not really want it more pushed into my carpet ~ although maybe I can move it into the kitchen onto some plastic wrap. YUCK!

PLEASE...Any suggestions? Any book suggestions for us and/or Ian?

TIA!!!

[smkinc]

My almost 3 yo just trained, we never ran into this issue, so take my suggestions for what they're worth. :)

I wouldn't try having him sit in it--I just don't see the point.

Basically, what he is doing is unacceptable behavior-- I would probably say something like--'Poo Poo only belongs in the diaper or potty, putting Poo Poo on the walls and carpet makes germs and can make us sick'--This clearly states what is expected. I'd try to ignore this behavior as much as possible and when it does happen, have him 'help me clean it up as much as possible' and then matter of factly move on with the day. When he does keep it in the correct location, regardless of diaper or potty, I'd say something like 'You did a great job keeping your poo poo in the right place, I'm very proud of you'. This might give more attention to the 'right' behavior???

>>I try to be routine and calm but firm, however, my patience is dwindling.

I can completely understand, in these cases, I always tell myself, this is a developmental milestone and he won't be doing this when he goes to college. :) I think this is the absolute right approach though! My guess is it's a control/attention issue, so as hard as it is, the more you make it less of either, he'll lose interest and move on.

BTW--someone else I know who had this problem actually used Duct Tape to secure the diaper to prevent the issue.

HTH, Good Luck!

Mary