Here's our Potty Training Story...so far

[jeminaal]

I want to share our experience while it's still fresh in my mind. :)

My DS, who is three and a half years old, didn't really show any signs of being ready to potty train when he was younger. We had a few books about going potty and read them to him. Not every night, but we'd have the books among the piles for him to choose from.

When he turned three, we introduced him to Pull-ups and started showing him how to use the potty. He'd go in the toilet every once in a while when we asked him, but he preferred to urinate into his pull-up/diaper. He also never cared about having an extremely wet pull-up/diaper, which amazed me. I didn't make an effort with potty training because I read websites and books that gave lists of signs that indicated "potty-training readiness" and my DS did not exhibit a single one! I was starting to get worried and quite honestly, was getting a little depressed about the possibility that he wouldn't be potty trained until he was 4 or 5!

Well, about a week and a half ago, I made the decision to just "go-for-it." With preschool starting in September and the school requiring the kids to be toilet trained, I figured that now was the time to do it! So I dove on in, not knowing whether or not I'd be successful, but I was determined to make the effort to stay home until we made some progress.

So, on Monday afternoon (Day 1), I took off the pull-up and put on underwear and we started. I started loading him up with water, juice, and milk. I had a timer on and when it rang after 20 minute increments, we made a visit to the restroom, whether he needed to or not. I had a laminated chart that I bought at a teacher supply store that had the following listed (with matching cartoon pictures next each phrase):

1. Go Fast
2. Use Potty
3. Wash Hands
4. Yeah! We're Dry!
5. Reward

I drew a smiley face next to each statement after talking about it with him (especially #4, where I'd say something like, "Our underwear is dry and the carpet/floor is dry...YEAH!"). Our reward was three mini-M&M's each time he did it. The next time we visited, I'd erase the previous smiley faces and then had the same talk. When he'd have an accident, we'd go back to the chart and I'd put a sad face on things he didn't do and then say we'd try again next time.

By the end of the afternoon we had SEVEN accidents (BTW, "Kid-N-Pets Stain and Odor Remover is GREAT a wonderful product: http://www.kidsnpetsbrand.com/). It was frustrating for both of us, but we kept at it. On Tuesday (Day 2), after the third accident I decided that perhaps the "naked method" was the way to go. I mean, he's already had all these accidents and so what difference did it make whether he went in his underwear or directly on the carpet/floor?

A BIG difference, apparently. When I told him that he was going naked the rest of the day, he DID NOT like that one bit, but guess what? No accidents the rest of the day. Happy Faces were drawn on the chart and mini M&Ms each time!

By Wednesday (Day 3), I started extending the timer to 30 minutes, then to 45 minutes and we had NO accidents so he didn't have to go naked. On Thursday (Day 4), I decided to drop the timer all together and began asking my DS once in a while if he had to go. We had one accident that day and we went naked the rest of the day. By Friday (Day 5), we had no accidents and he was now starting to initiate the need to urintate himself!

On Saturday (Day 6), we spent all day at an amusement park near our home and I had him in Pull-ups. He was dry the ENTIRE day! He even told me while we were in line for the boat ride, "Mommy, I have to go bathroom!" Those were the sweetest words I ever heard. We ran to the bathroom and he held it until we got to the toilet! And then...a miracle occurred! My DH noticed that DS was holding his behind and had a funny look on his face. When we asked him if he needed to go poo-poo, he nodded his head. Both DH and DS ran to the restroom and DS had a bowel movement in the toilet! I was so proud of DS!

On Sunday (Day 7), DD and DS spent the day at my in-law's house while DH and I watched a musical performance (RENT) and again, DS did not have an accident. My MIL told me that he even went to the bathroom on his own several times while he was there.

And as of today (Day 11) there's been no pee accidents...since Day 4. WHOO HOO! I still remind him once in a while, but he pretty much goes all on his own (pulls down underwear, pees, puts on underwear, flushes toilet, washes hands). I'm still there at the end to put on those smiley faces and give those three mini M&M's, but I don't mind a single bit!

We're not out of the woods yet. We're still working on his bowel movements and that's a bit harder for him to master, unfortunately. We've had a few accidents, but I think he'll get the idea very soon. At least I hope...;)

And that's our story...HTH!


Jeanette
(formerly known as jeanmick, member since Feb 2003)

DD Born Christmas Eve
DS Born Valentine's Day

[walmin22]

That is so awesome. I just have a few questions if you don't mind me asking.....
On the 1st day how long did you make your DS sit on the potty?
Does your DS still take naps? If so what did you make him wear?

Thanks,
Mary

[jeminaal]

Hi Mary,

To urintate, he prefers to stand (and always has), which was fine by me. He usually goes pretty quickly each time I'd have him stand over the toilet.

Bowel movements are a different thing all together. We're still struggling with this. We've been on the "Thomas the Tank Engine" train purchase program, where each time he's had a successful bowel movement, we go and buy a train from Target. So far we've purchased three trains.

Whenever I have him try to go "poo" (which is usually about 20 minutes after he's had a meal), he sits on the toilet for about 10 minutes and then gets antsy. He's NEVER gone when I've had him sit for it. The three times he's been succesful in doing it in the toilet, we've had to "read" his actions and expressions. He'll have a certain look on his face, he'll be holding his behind, or he'll be crouching over, so I've scaled back and now watch for that "look." I do ask about 20-30 minutes after each meal if he needs to go, and usually he'll say "no", but for the most part, I'm just watching his actions and keeping my fingers crossed that he'll show me a sign, LOL! After his successful bowel movement at the amusement park we were at, he didn't do it for FOUR days! I think he got a little scared, and he even said, "Mommy, I'm scared to poo-poo in the toilet," so I've been trying to keep it positive. Last night DH caught him in the bathroom just before bathtime, trying to quickly remove his underwear and jump on the toilet for a bowel movement and luckily, DH quickly scooped him up and placed him in the toilet. That makes me think he's beginning to understand the need to do it in the toilet and that we're on the right track with him. :)

My DS doesn't take naps on a regular basis anymore. I think if he did, I'd probably put him in a pull-up, or if he was in his underwear, place a towel under him and hope he'd go on that, LOL! Funny, though, today was a the first time in a long time DS took a nap. Fortunately, when he woke up, he was dry. I took him to the bathroom after he woke up and he had a long "pee."

HTH and if anyone has a successful story for getting a child to do bowel movements in the toilet on a regular basis, please post your experience. I'd LOVE some pointers.



Jeanette
(formerly known as jeanmick, member since Feb 2003)

DD Born Christmas Eve
DS Born Valentine's Day

[jeminaal]

I posted the following on another thread a few days ago, but I thought I'd go ahead and paste it here since it talks about our potty training experience. Apologies for the double posting if you've already read it.

"At the very beginning of toilet training, he refused to sit (for bowel movements), and I'd have to sit with him the whole time, but then as he got used to it, I'd leave, then come back. Even if he didn't poop initially, getting him comfortable to sit for longer periods w/o whining was success.

I have books and toys to play with and I also bring the timer in, asking him to sit on it until the timer goes off (5-10 minutes or so). I also take a towel and cover his bottom half. (I did this with my DD when she was toilet training too and still likes being covered up to this day). I guess it has something to do with being too exposed...I don't know. What's nice is that the towel will catch DS's pee if it happens to shoot out while he's sitting on the potty chair.

My DS never told me he needed a diaper (to "poo" into...the poster's DC in the original thread I posted this in would always ask for one), so I had to learn how to "read" him. So now, when I think he needs to go, I calmly tell him that we need to go to the potty to poo. He whines, protests and fusses all the way to the toilet, but I don't give him any other options. At one point, he told me that he was "scared" of going poo, but I told him that I'd be there with him and that there wasn't anything to be scared about.

Yesterday he had a really positive experience for pooping at home! The last time he went was the day before yesterday so he was showing all the signs of needing to go. Again, DS whined, protested, and fussed all the way when I said we were going to the bathroom and when we got to the toilet, he told me that he didn't want to go. I told him firmly that even though he didn't think he needed to go, I said he needed to stay there for 10 minutes. Covered his lap with a towel, gave him toys, books and set the timer and stepped out for a minute or two. Afterwards, I heard, "Mommy! I pooed!" I ran in and sure enough, there were the three biggest poops I've ever seen, LOL (TMI, I know, but I can't believe those came out of him)! I then told him how proud I was of him and right then and there we had a short discussion about whether pooping was scary or not. He admitted that it wasn't scary, it didn't hurt and that he was a "big boy now." I'm hoping our next pooping experience goes as well as this one.

I also gave him his reward right away, which helped a lot. We're on the Thomas the Tank Engine and friends program, where he gets a train each time he poops. Before, I used to take him to the store to get a train, but I realized that he needed immediate positive reinforcement, so now I've got a bunch of trains in my cabinet ready to be given."


UPDATE on "pooping": He's still on the "every other day" plan for bowel movements. He usually doesn't tell me and I try to read him (i.e., funny look on his face, holding his behind, saying that his stomach "hurts") but today, he came up to me and said, "Mommy...I have to go poo-poo!" Those were the sweetest words! We ran to the toilet and sure enough, he did it! He was quite proud of himself. :)

UPDATE on "peeing": The charts and signs haven't been used for a few days now and I don't give him any M&Ms anymore. We've completely weaned from it. He now goes straight to the bathroom (after announcing that he needs to go "pee-pee") and does his business (pulling down underwear, urinating, pulling pants up, washing hands) all by himself! His pullups have also been dry every morning when he wakes up! WHOO HOO!

So fellow mommies...we're proof that there's light at the end of the "potty training" tunnel. At the beginning of summer, I thought for sure that I'd have to pull-out DS from preschool this fall, but now, I'm confident that he'll be ready!

Best of luck everyone!




Jeanette
(formerly known as jeanmick, member since Feb 2003)

DD Born Christmas Eve
DS Born Valentine's Day

[TraciG]

That's GREAT !

[jeminaal]

Thanks, TraciG!

Jeanette
(formerly known as jeanmick, member since Feb 2003)

DD Born Christmas Eve
DS Born Valentine's Day

[new_mommy25]

Thanks for sharing the story. It tells me there is hope yet! My DS can pee on the potty just fine but getting him to poop is just impossible.

[jeminaal]

Good luck Angie. There is definitely hope!

BTW...DS is now completely potty trained. Goes pee by himself and ALWAYS tells me or DH that he needs to poop. He's also been dry every morning since potty training...hasn't had an accident in bed yet. It's been wonderful! :)

Crossing fingers and hoping this trend continues...


Jeanette
(formerly known as jeanmick, member since Feb 2003)

DD Born Christmas Eve
DS Born Valentine's Day

[MarisaSF]

Congrats, Jeanette! That is so awesome.
Thanks a million for typing up and sharing your story. Firsthand accounts are invaluable for people like me just starting the process!

[gatorsmom]

Just wanted to say thank you so much for that encouraging story. And thank you for laying out your process. I can't tell you ENOUGH how much that has helped.

I tried some of the same techniques last week one day. We spent the entire day trying to potty train. No luck. DS does not care that his diaper is wet or soiled and doesn't want to stop his activities to get cleaned up. I'm going to devote a week to getting him trained (although it can't be next week since we'll be in Vegas).

I'm so glad I checked this forum. I've been a regular reader of the Baby message boards but I guess it's time to move over to the Toddler boards. This issue has been on my mind for the last 6 months and I've been putting off training him because he has not shown the least amount of interest. And still doesn't. However, he is now 3.5 yrs old and that's TOO old in my opinion to not be trained.

Thank you for your success story. I"m going to bookmark it!!